


Pacification

by Gamebird



Series: Grey Order [6]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alien with a developmental disability, An entire caravan of emotional baggage, Cameos by C3-PO R2-D2 and D'Acy, Clumsy but well-meaning attempts at trauma recovery, Cultural Misunderstandings, F/M, Ghost Luke in one chapter, Hux is asexual (but see the pairings), Leia present only by pre-recorded message, M/M, People traumatized in multiple ways (most canon), Poe/Hux - Freeform, Reylo - Freeform, Two chapters are explicit, finnrose - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:49:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 76,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamebird/pseuds/Gamebird
Summary: Having left the First Order, Kylo Ren joins a Resistance humanitarian mission headed to a First Order world in dire need of hope and stability. Sharing his journey are Rey, two knights of Ren, Finn, Poe, Rose, and other characters in minor roles.But first, they have a lot of things to settle between them - knights pissed about being cut out the loop and Kylo having murdered Snoke (not everyone thought this was cool, ya know), Kylo's continued trauma issues, Rey slowly making up her mind to accept Kylo's proposal, Finn having no clues (and his own trauma issues), Poe trying to be patient with these guys and prevent them from killing each other, various Resistance folk not understanding why they don't just dump these dysfunctional weirdos on a rock somewhere ... and then there's Hux at the end of the story sweeping Poe off his feet (or at least sending a shuttle for him, which is the same thing, right?)





	1. Pretalks with Poe

**A/N: This overlaps a little with Orderly Lives. Orderly Lives ended on Day 13 (counting out from the Battle of Crait). The below mental conversation with Poe happens on Day 11 in the morning. This is the day after the Battle of the** _**Supremacy** _ **, the first full day that Rey and Kylo are confined to quarters. Keeping track of time passage shouldn't be important to the fic, but I thought I'd give some orientation to tie it into the previous installment.**

_Day 11, morning_

"Poe." Rey could see him clearly, but nothing around him. He looked thoughtful, pursing his lips and nodding to himself.

"Poe?" She put a little more force into the attempt.

" _Not too much_ ," Kylo warned.

This time, Poe chewed his lips and looked around. "Rey," he said, then drew in a breath. He didn't seem to be talking to her, just himself. He looked back and forth uneasily.

" _Should I try again?_ " Rey asked.

" _No. Gracynn, Nayta, and Hux had all experienced this before. They knew what to look for. Let him find us. He's heard you. He just doesn't know what it means. Being louder won't help_."

"No," Poe said. "It's like I heard her." He gestured at his head. "I have this concept of her in my mind, like I'm thinking of her really hard, and I don't know where it came from."

" _Does that mean he sees me?_ " Rey asked Kylo, who gave her a mental shrug.

" _Just wait_ ," Kylo told her. " _No hurry. Can you feel his attention? He's entirely outwardly focused. He's not looking inside. He knows we're here_."

She couldn't 'just wait', but she was careful not to try any harder than she already had. "Poe, can you hear me?"

"Why am I hearing her?" Poe looked to his left as though listening to someone. He answered them, "No." Rey felt his attention settle on her. She saw him. He saw her. He jumped in his seat. "Whoa!" His hand raised and half-pointed. He blinked. "No. She's in my head. No, Rey's in my head. Rey?"

"Yes. I can hear you," she answered.

"Wow. Hi." He grinned. "How are you doing? This is strange. Just like you described. It's like you're over there." He waved a hand in front of him. "But you're not."

"Um, well, there's been a problem and I need to talk to you about it," she said.

"Okay, shoot."

" _Do you want to tell him I'm here? He doesn't see me_."

"What was that?" Poe asked, looking confused. "There was a … noise?"

"That was Kylo Ren. He's with me. I can't contact you without his help. He wanted me to make sure you knew he was here. Because he didn't think you could sense him."

"I don't, really. It was just a … warble. I guess it could have been a voice." Poe cast his mental attention around randomly, trying to figure out how to 'see' Kylo.

"Just so you know. Um," she struggled to start, "well, this is complicated. I need you to delay all Resistance and New Republic ships from coming to the wreck of the  _Supremacy_. Until I tell you it's clear."

"Okay." His expression turned serious. "What's happened? Because something's happened or else you'd be sending me a communications signal instead of a … this mind thing."

"Yes, well, we're on house arrest right now."

"House arrest? Where at? You need me to come break you out of jail?"

"No, no. Please don't. That would make things a hundred times worse."

"So things are bad?"

"No, actually, it's fine." She sighed and looked around their quarters. "It's comfortable. We've been asked to stay in our rooms. I could leave if I needed to. There was … When we came out of hyperspace, the High Command had their fleet here. All their ships."

"The whole First Order?"

"No. Just the planetary governors and whoever else is on their side. They had … ships. Anyway, they demanded Hux turn us over – Kylo and I – so that … um, they were going to execute us for killing Snoke."

"Oh." Poe looked worried. He waved a hand at someone off to his side. "Let me listen to this. It's important. Life or death."

"Hux … refused. So they opened fire. Kylo and I did something similar to what I'm doing now, with you, but with one of their admirals and we tried to make her betray her side and stop firing. They knew what we were doing, so they killed one of the Knights of Ren. They had them as prisoners. We didn't know. But then we …"

" _Don't tell him about the surrender_ ," Kylo told her. " _Just that Hux found another way and we're to stand trial_."

"What did he say?" Poe asked, making another futile attempt to focus on Kylo.

"Hux talked them out of the assault. They're going to hold a trial of some kind. Hux thinks we'll be found guilty, but the sentencing might be anything from nothing at all, literally, to execution."

"You need someone to break you out of jail. That's not something you mess around with. Bad odds, as Admiral Holdo said."

"No, Poe. Hux isn't giving us up. If it goes against us, we'll fight again."

"Um," Poe said, "that sort of thing can turn around really fast. I know you have the Force, but that's dangerous. How are you going to fight that?"

"I suppose we'd just leave our rooms and walk up to the bridge. We're on the-"

" _Don't tell him."_

Rey was quiet for a moment. " _Why not?_ "

" _If he doesn't know, then he won't be able to find you if he comes. Enemy forces showing up to rescue us would not help_."

" _He's not an enemy_."

Kylo swallowed. " _I don't know him like you do. It's up to you_."

"What's going on?" Poe asked. "Now I can't hear you either, Rey. At least, not clearly."

Rey turned her attention back to him. "I'm not going to tell you which ship we're on because I don't want you trying to rescue us."

"He told you to say that?"

"No, he told me it was up to me. I trust you, but," she shook her head, "I can't let you endanger yourself."

"It's okay. Maybe I don't need to know."

"Hux is protecting us and I think we'll have plenty of warning if things are going badly. I'll let you know when the coast is clear."

"Are you sure about this?" Poe asked.

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Your life might depend on it," he said with emphasis. "If you're telling me not to charge in and help, then I'm not going to charge in and help. But it's really hard to sit on my hands here. Are you dead certain that all you want me to do is delay our arrival there? No rescue, no ransom, no extradition request or whatever the First Order might honor? You don't want me reaching out to Hux and rattling his cage?"

"No. I don't think any of that would help and I think Hux is entirely on our side already. I think letting the legal system work through this normally is the best course of action."

"I don't have much faith in the First Order's idea of justice," Poe said.

"I understand. But so far it seems to be working. If it doesn't, we don't really lose anything for having tried. That's when we go back to shooting at each other."

"How about this," Poe offered. "I'll get closer. And if you need help, let us know. We'll be a short hop away. A few minutes, tops."

"Okay, but don't get very close. There are so many ships here and I know at least Hux has been running decloaking scans. I assume the others are, too. They have the technology. You can't rely on being cloaked."

"Okay. I'll stay out a bit. And I'll listen for your call."

"Thank you." She cut the contact.

* * *

_Day 12, evening_

"Poe?"

This time, he was faster to notice. At the perception of her mental voice, Poe turned his attention inward. It still took him a moment to find her, but she felt him actively searching. "Rey. Are you okay?"

"Yes, we're fine."

"Kylo's there? Here? Whatever?"

"Yes."

"I can't see him," Poe said. "Why is that?"

"Were you able to see him before?"

"No."

"When we've done this before," Rey said, "there's one person directing the Force and the other helping. I could hand it off to him, but I don't think you'd be able to hear me, then."

" _I might be able to project as well so he could hear both of us, but it would be harder for us and probably him, too_ ," Kylo said.

"I can hear him in the background, but not what he's saying," Poe said.

"I think we could do it, but it would be more difficult," Rey said.

"No, I was just wondering. But you're okay?" Poe asked.

"Yes. The trial is over. Kylo is abdicating as supreme leader. Hux is taking over as a 'first among equals' or something in the High Command. Can we go with you when you rendezvous with the fleet?"

"Is that still on? The humanitarian mission?"

"Yes. Hux isn't changing anything."

"Okay. That's nice of him. Abdicating, huh? How about you guys? Is this just a normal pickup, like passengers, or we being secret, like you're on the run?"

"No. It's entirely above-board. Everything's fine. There are two of the Knights of Ren who will be coming with us as well."

"Okay. Are they on the mission, too?"

"I think so. Will you be able to pick us up tomorrow?"

"I could pick you up right now. Or in a few minutes. We're parked in close jump distance. I'm glad to hear from you. I was worried."

"I think the morning would be better. We're safe; there's no hurry; nothing to worry about. We have a few things to pack. The knights have to transfer over from other ships. Speaking of which, there are a lot of ships here. It's crowded. Let me know when you'll be showing up so I can make sure you're not a surprise to anyone."

"Okay." Poe picked a time in mid-morning and related it to her.

"Thank you," she told him. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure thing."


	2. Rough and Tumble

**A/N: YT-series freighter is the basic type of the Millennium Falcon.**

_Day 13, morning_

"What the …" Poe wheeled from where he'd been talking with Finn about the cargo and room assignments. Motion had caught his eye, but it was the utter silence that had his attention. Kylo Ren's TIE silencer was as good as its name, drifting casually into the  _Restitution_ 's hangar bay without a whisper of sound. Poe's jaw dropped.

He should have been hearing engines, adjustment jets, brakes, anything! But there was nothing. He knew what it was – his brain had caught up quickly enough, but even understanding that this was the Force at work didn't stop his amazement. He walked slowly over to where Rey waited with the two Knights of Ren at the expected landing spot.

Kylo apparently saw them gathered, because the ship smoothly turned and coasted soundlessly through the air to where they were waiting. It moved to the floor and rested there like someone had put down a cup. There was no 'settling' action as the landing jets kicked off. It just moved to where the pilot willed it. That was such an astonishing thing to see that Poe was still gaping slack-jawed.

He was trying to imagine what it would be like to fly like that – to be able to move your ship with your mind, perhaps ignoring inertia completely, as well as Kylo's other witnessed power of stopping blaster bolts. Poe was pretty sure he'd just met a better pilot than himself, something that was hard to admit, even if it was just to himself. He was sort of disappointed that if they were on the same side – they'd never go head-to-head.

The ship was colored differently from anything he'd previously seen from the First Order. Rather than black and grey, it was dark brown with a couple wide, vivid orange slashes over the body. The pointed wings had a subtle bronzing. Where the First Order identification number should have been, it instead had an actual name:  _Death Trap_. The canopy opened. Kylo stood gracefully, towering over everyone from the elevated body of the ship.

"What a show-off!" scoffed one of the knights. It was the broader one, the male. "A complete and utter show-off!" He nudged the female knight with his elbow. She ignored him.

Kylo gave a very self-assured smirk. "You'd do it if you could." He started to step down, his foot finding the tiny step set into the rounded body that allowed a person to exit this way in cases of emergency. The usual route required a ramp. He would jump down the remaining distance.

"There are a lot of things I'd do if I could," the male knight said, and with that, Kylo lost his balance just as he was shifting to jump. He fell and fell forward for some reason. For a heartbeat, Poe thought he was going to hit the deck head-first – a possibly fatal accident at any height. (At least, for normal people.) But Kylo landed on splayed hands, knees, and toes. And perhaps his face (his hair fell forward so Poe couldn't tell), but most of the impact was taken up by limbs judging from the loud smack they made against the deck, rather than the more sickening crunch he'd been expecting.

Kylo looked up and Poe caught a glimpse of bared teeth before Kylo roared – fucking roared – and surged up from the floor as fast as Poe had ever seen anyone move. He flung himself across the space between him and the male knight, tackling him with every bit of momentum that Kylo, who was not a small being, could muster.

Air was punched out of the knight's lungs by Kylo's shoulder in his midsection. They were propelled backwards by the impact into a cargo container. It thudded hollowly like it had been hit by a very large padded hammer. Impossibly, the knight was not stunned. He wrapped his muscled arm around Kylo's neck in a head-lock, gripped his hands together, and cranked in a guillotine choke.

Kylo yelled again, an inarticulate, half-throttled noise of rage. By now, Poe was drawing his blaster and advancing, although he hadn't decided what to do. Maybe just stun the both of them. The knight's helmeted head swung towards him and he released the grip. He raised the hand not occupied around Kylo's throat and used the Force to shove Poe back towards the TIE silencer that was now behind him. It was oddly diffuse, not that Poe had a lot of experience with being moved around like this. He didn't even lose his footing.

Poe's first instinct was to shoot him anyway. The second was to realize he'd been harmlessly pushed by someone whom he assumed could have done a lot worse. The third was to realize Kylo Ren had a lightsaber clipped to his belt and both hands free. There was no reason why he wasn't using it except he didn't want to. At that point, Poe realized this wasn't a startling fight to the death that he needed to intervene in. They were playing. Kylo took advantage of the knight's broken grip on the head-lock. He reached up and triggered one of the releases on the knight's helmet. It gave a hiss of depressurizing.

"No! No!" the knight called out, but it wasn't a truly angry voice. He was trying to tighten up the head-lock again, then changed his mind and fought futilely with Kylo's hand as Kylo wrapped fingers in the front of the helmet and yanked. He broke the other release and the helmet ripped off the man's head. He was younger than Poe and had a dark bronze skin tone with short, curly dark hair. It was the first time Poe had seen the man's face. Kylo, his head still wedged in the man's armpit, clumsily smashed him in the face with his own helmet. "No! Cheating! That's- oof! Cheating!" the man complained.

The knight grabbed the helmet and tried to yank it away from Kylo. He succeeded, but lost his grip on it as well. It skittered across the floor as Kylo finally managed to wrest himself out of the head-lock. He twisted and tried to grasp the man and tackle him to the floor again, but the knight shoved him off, rolled to his back and kicked Kylo hard enough in the side to launch him back a few feet. It sounded like he'd kicked a side of meat. Kylo almost got his feet under him, then went down on his ass. He grunted and scrambled back up. The other man athletically flipped from the floor in spite of being in full armor. He grinned toothily. They faced off a handful of paces apart, poised to attack.

Poe glanced around. Everyone in the hangar bay had dropped what they were doing so they could stare at this knock-down brawl that was going on. Finn was standing off to the side near where Poe had last seen him. He was staring as well, but frowning and looking, frankly, unsurprised. Maybe he'd seen something like this before? Rey looked excited, exhilarated maybe. The female knight, helmeted, was unreadable, but she was watching the fight with a relaxed pose.

The two combatants circled for a couple steps. Then the shorter one, the knight, flexed his fingers. Kylo twitched forward hard, on the verge of launching himself, but just barely stopping without doing it. The knight's helmet wobbled on the ground and came over to knock against the man's foot. Kylo glanced down at it, then back up at the knight. Slowly, the knight bent his knees in a squat so he could reach down and pick it up. Kylo straightened as the man retrieved his helmet. He exhaled heavily and turned his back to saunter towards Rey. Kylo reached up to touch his neck with a grimace as he went.

The knight took a couple quick steps forward and shoved Kylo in the middle of the back just as Poe tried to yell a warning. Maybe Kylo heard it in time, because he caught himself easily, pivoted, and threw his weight back with a swinging elbow that would have knocked out a Wookiee had it landed. But the two men knew each other's fighting styles well: the knight had ducked. Kylo's hands both came down on the man's back, digging into fabric and clothing, perhaps even flesh. He pivoted back, bringing the man with him and throwing him bodily in a hip toss. He hit the floor heavily and rolled towards the feet of the female knight. She stuck a foot out and stopped him, her boot on his chest.

She tilted her helmet down towards him. "Steel, you are show-off," she chided. Steel patted her on the back of her calf and she moved her boot off him. He'd dropped his helmet when thrown. It had rattled over to Rey's feet.

Kylo snorted a laugh and continued the relaxed saunter he'd been doing before. He reached down a hand in open friendship to the man, who took it. The woman took her foot off his chest. Kylo pulled him to his feet. The knight flowed upwards with the motion and turned into it, slinging his free arm across Kylo's shoulders. He slapped Kylo's back several times in a warm, easygoing manner completely at odds with the violence they'd just engaged in.

Kylo laughed again. This time, it was a low, throaty sound, uninhibited and genuine. Even to Poe, it sounded sexy. "Oh, Steel," Kylo said in that deep, husky voice, turning towards the man to embrace him. "I have missed you so much." His voice sounded different from any other time Poe had heard it. It wasn't the soft, vulnerable tone he'd taken with Rey. It wasn't the hard, cold voice from the start of their negotiations on Naboo. It was closest to the way he'd spoken towards the end, but even then it had been accented. That was when Poe realized – most of the imperial accent had been dropped.

He holstered his blaster. There was no reason to be standing around with it in his hand. He'd misjudged them.

"That looked like fun," Rey said, picking up the helmet and offering it to Steel, who took it. She was grinning. Kylo slung his arm around the other knight, the woman, so he was bracketed by one on each side of him.

Poe shook his head and walked back over to Finn. "What have I just put on my ship?"

It was rhetorical, but Finn answered like it was a real question. "I still don't understand why you're letting this guy on your ship at all," Finn said. "Or the other two."

"Like I said on the shuttle over to the  _Finalizer_  - they're with Rey now," Poe said.

"Yeah," Finn said, moving closer to Poe. "But these guys are trouble. I didn't want to say anything right in front of them on the way back, but that," he gestured back towards where they'd been fighting, "is just a small taste of it. They're a gang of assassins, Poe. The Knights of Ren were the ones Snoke would send to take out whoever he didn't like. They could order around anyone, no matter what their rank. They did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Honestly, I think better of the Order for getting rid of them."

"Dogs of war," Poe said, nodding. "I'll make of that what I can."

"At least there's only three of them," Finn grumbled, not really understanding what Poe meant.

Poe glanced back. "I count four." Rey had been added to the group hug, her arms around Steel on one side and the female knight on the other.

"Rey? She's not one of them. She's better than that."

Poe chuckled. "Oh yeah. Her, too. They're people, Finn. I guess the First Order aren't all as uptight as Hux and those diplomats we saw on Naboo."

Finn frowned more and went on, "They're not like Hux or the diplomats or even stormtroopers. They're  _Jedi killers_."

Poe might have said something to that, but the quad had broken apart and was approaching them.

"General Poe Dameron," Kylo said, back to the imperial accent and a normal voice. He went to one knee automatically as though preparing to swear some kind of formal oath of fealty. The other two knights copied the pose with the same ease of having done it routinely for years.

"No, no, no!" Poe waved his hands at them in alarm. "No. Stand up." Kylo rose with a brief expression of confusion before his face was blank. Just as slowly, the other two knights stood as well. Poe said, "That's not how we do things in the Resistance. It's not. No kneeling."

Kylo glanced at Rey, who shook her head and told him, "You don't have to kneel to anyone. That wasn't the deal. You're just passengers." Kylo looked at her like he genuinely couldn't wrap his mind around the subject.

"Hey," Finn said with a dry chuckle. "I know it's weird. Strange, huh? But, uh, it doesn't mean the same thing here." Kylo blinked at him warily. Finn shook his head, giving Kylo a disapproving glower.

Poe could only imagine what was running through the guy's mind. He rubbed the side of his nose. "Did you guys really come here with the idea you were signing up to, uh, serve me?"

Steel examined the clasp on his helmet, poking at the side that was broken now. The woman, still wearing her helmet, was impassive. The former supreme leader of the First Order, Kylo Ren himself, shifted his eyes back to Poe and waited for the other shoe to drop, because the answer to that was perfectly obvious. None of the three spoke.

"Wow," Poe said under his breath. He looked at Rey, who gave him a tight smile. He looked at Finn, who was looking at the knights like they were scum. For a half-second, Poe realized that he had one of the most powerful Force users in the galaxy and his two trained killer companions offering him ... total loyalty.

Whereas a few moments before he'd been wondering what he was allowing on his ship, it only now hit him as to what Hux had allowed to leave the First Order – someone who could change the course of a battle or even an entire war on the scale of Luke Skywalker. And … who might do whatever Poe told him to do, because as Hux had told him, Kylo was easily led. Or misled.

Poe looked down at the floor, mentally readjusting and chewing his lip. "Okay," Poe said, "Um … I'm going to give you some orders. And you can follow them or not. Up to you." He looked between the three of them, still getting blank stares. "You," Poe pointed at Steel, "Rey, and Finn – take all your stuff to your rooms and get settled in. You two," he pointed at Kylo and the woman, "come with me."

They fell in line, doing what they were told. Poe walked off, feeling weird to have Kylo and Nera Ren flanking him, one step behind on either side like lethal double shadows. He could see how people were looking at them and giving way as they left the hangar bay. The three of them made only a single set of footsteps. He glanced back, seeing that the two of them were in perfect sync with his strides. "They taught you guys to march?" he guessed.

"We drill formation," Kylo said.

"Hm," Poe responded. "I know stormtroopers do that – sure. But I'm surprised the Knights of Ren had to do something rote like that."

"It looks cool," Kylo explained.

Poe glanced over at him, wondering if Kylo meant they'd drilled to learn this particular skill just for the aesthetic of it. Then again, given their costuming … probably. "It sounds cool, too," Poe agreed of the way they sounded as they walked in lockstep down the hall. They – both longer legged – had adjusted to him. He felt bigger with them at his back. More important. It was creepy. Much as he didn't want to admit it, the aesthetic made a difference in the impression they made. This was more appealing than he thought it ought to be.

"Does the Resistance do marching drills?" Kylo asked.

Poe shook his head. "Too many different systems, different species, all volunteer army, been sort of on the run lately. No time for that sort of organized training."

"Hm," Kylo responded, and Poe gave him another look because it was an exact echo of his earlier sound.

They stopped outside a room. Poe looked at Nera. "Can you take the helmet off?" She gave a long pause, then unlatched it and lifted it off. She had light grey skin with short, dark, straight hair or maybe fur that covered her cheeks and framed the bare skin around her mouth, nose, and eyes. She had tiny, flat ears, red irises and large nostrils. She was definitely non-human, simian in appearance, but he couldn't place the species.

Poe said, "Thank you. We don't usually wear helmets on this ship unless you need it for your job or the equipment you're operating. I'm asking you to leave it off most of the time." She said nothing.

Poe gestured at the door they were next to. "I saw you guys brought some gear with you from the Order, but I don't know if you're missing anything. Finn showed up with nothing. Same with Rey. I'd like you to talk with the quartermaster in here to work out anything you guys might need – clothing, toiletries, special food, medication, any basic accommodations. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes sir."

Poe gave her a long look because of the 'sir'. Kylo hadn't used an honorific. He wasn't sure why Nera was, but this was the first thing she'd said to him. "I appreciate the respect you're showing me. I want to be sure you know it's not necessary. Okay?"

"Yes sir." Her expression didn't change like he would have expected for sarcasm.

Poe glanced at Kylo, whose expression hadn't changed either. He decided to leave it alone. Poe touched the panel next to the door and took them inside, introducing her to the quartermaster and giving directions.

Then it was back outside to the corridor. He looked at Kylo. "We need to talk. You have time?"

Kylo glanced around like he wasn't sure what else he could be doing. "Yes."

"Good. Walk with me. I have to go to the bridge." They went a few paces down the hall with Kylo shadowing him before Poe stopped. "Walk next to me, like we're equals, which we are. Got it?"

Kylo took a long step to put himself where Poe was requiring him to be. Poe had the uneasy sensation Kylo was doing it only because he'd been told to. He suspected he was going to be picking his battles a lot with these guys. They headed towards the bridge. "That was really impressive – what you did in the hangar bay with that ship. Can the other two knights fly like that?"

"Not like that."

"Just you, huh?"

"Yes."

"Can you fly an x-wing? Or a YT-series freighter?"

"I have completed First Order simulation training on all major types of current spacecraft, including the YT-series of Corellian craft, with a certification of proficient or advanced for all. Except for the TIE series, for which I have an expert rating."

"Fantastic," Poe said to how Kylo had rattled that off. "To your experience, how well does that simulation training set you up to handle a real ship?"

"Very well. That's what it's designed to do. Unless the ship has been customized, if I've passed simulation, then I can fly it."

"That explains a lot."

"How so?"

Poe gave him a glance as they walked onto the bridge. "Finn seemed to adjust real easy to most of our equipment. I know the layout is pretty standard, but it's never taken him more than a few minutes to work out how to operate something."

"He was a graduate of stormtrooper training. I'm pleased to hear it's been helpful to him."

Poe slid into the navigation chair. He checked the scanners. "Give me a minute here. I need to chart a course out of all this battle debris so we can do a safe jump to hyperspace."

Kylo glanced around the bridge. A familiar-looking gold-colored protocol droid was staring at him. Now that he wasn't engaged in conversation, it began mincing its way over to him. He knew who it was. With a sigh, Kylo turned his back on it and moved closer to the view port, leaning to look in the direction of the First Order fleet.

"Oh my stars!" C3-PO exclaimed as he came to stand next to Kylo. "Are you Master Ben Solo? It has been years!"

"I'm not that person anymore," Kylo said sullenly, staring out at the ships.

"Oh." C3-PO seemed momentarily flummoxed. He looked in the general's direction.

Poe glanced over as he continued his calculations. "His name's Kylo Ren."

"Oh." C3-PO turned back. "Master … Kylo Ren."

"Are you mine?" Kylo growled, giving C3-PO a side-eye.

"What?"

"Is that why you're speaking to me? You call me 'Master'." C3-PO stared blankly, as only he could. Kylo turned to face the droid. "What arrangements did my mother make for you?"

"Oh! I have been temporarily assigned to the custody of General Poe Dameron." C3-PO gestured stiffly in Poe's direction.

"Temporarily?" Poe said, looking up from another check of the scanners. C3-PO turned to face him, said nothing, then turned back to Kylo Ren. Poe asked, "Why temporarily?"

C3-PO turned back to address Poe. "Until a Skywalker claims ownership, sir. You have my deepest apologies, but this overrides any assignment any individual family member may make in their estate. It is as the Maker designates."

Kylo looked over at Poe, who shrugged. "News to me. But, uh, if you want a protocol droid, go ahead."

"Not at this time," Kylo said quietly, sizing up C3-PO.

"Well, in any case," the droid continued on blithely, "your mother left a message for you with R2-D2."

"Of course she did," Kylo said in a defeated tone. He leaned out to look at the First Order ships again.

"Shall I summon him to play it now?"

"No!" he snapped angrily.

"Oh."

After a pause, Kylo asked, "Have you heard it? This message."

"Yes sir."

"How long is it?"

"Approximately three minutes, sir. I could recite it-"

"No!"

"Oh."

"I'll find him … later. When I'm ready."

"Yes sir. I will tell R2 to be expecting your visit."

"Good. Now go away," Kylo said quietly.

"What was that, sir?"

"Get away from me!" Kylo said more loudly, agitated by the thing's continued presence at his elbow.

Poe said dryly, "C3-PO, go to the other side of the room and stay there, okay?"

"Well," C3-PO turned back and forth between the two of them, then said, "As you say, sir." The droid headed to the opposite side of the bridge.

"There is a lot of junk floating around here in space," Poe said in the direction of Kylo's back, deliberately changing the subject. "Are those First Order guys going to freak out if we put up the shields to reduce what makes it through to the hull?"

"Yes." Kylo kept watching his old fleet. He calmed himself. "At least one ship will be moved to alert status and will turn weapons on you. That's probably all they'll do unless they have other reasons to believe you're hostile. I would suggest you raise forward shields only at ten percent. It will do what you need and not alarm them. They know the area is cluttered and you'll be turning an unshielded portion of the ship toward them."

"Okay then. Good suggestion." Poe looked over at a different station. "Sergeant Corbex? Go ahead and put up forward shields at ten percent."

Kylo said, "You should also contact fleet control for jump clearance."

Poe was quiet for a moment as he thought about that. Then he moved on to getting the ship in motion along the course he'd plotted. He looked over at Kylo's back when he was done. "That's for safety reasons, isn't it? To make sure your ships don't accidentally jump into each other?"

Kylo nodded.

"Now that the war's over," Poe said, "we need to get used to talking to these guys about normal stuff anyway. That's another good idea. Is there a process for that?"

"Yes. It's simple." Kylo moved toward the communications console where Kaydel was. He gave her the frequency and channel information. "Hail the  _Finalizer_."

She glanced at Poe, who nodded. She said, "Comm open  _Restitution_  hailing _Finalizer_."

" _Finalizer_  receiving  _Restitution_ ," came crisply and immediately out of the speaker.

Kaydel looked between the two again, then made a guess as to what she was to say. " _Restitution_  requesting clearance for jump in approximately one hour." Poe gave her the coordinates they would be leaving from. She relayed them into the comm.

They were met by silence this time. She looked at Kylo. "Why aren't they saying anything? Did I say something wrong?"

"No. They've probably never been asked for clearance by a Resistance ship." He gave her an amused smile. "They'll need to run it by Hux. He's on duty now and probably on the bridge. It won't be long."

"You keep track of his duty shifts?" Poe asked.

Kylo huffed. "Of course. I had to review shift reports every day for the ranking officers – what they did the previous cycle and what they had scheduled for the next three."

"Yeah, okay," Poe said. "That makes sense. You got a lot of paperwork as supreme leader?"

"Yes." Kylo sounded displeased about it.

"I'm finding that to be a less than thrilling part of my job, too," Poe said.

"That I actually did it played a surprising role in my trial, though, so I suppose it was worth something," Kylo grumbled.

" _Finalizer_  here. Clearance granted. Grand Marshal Hux sends his regards."

Kylo smiled.

Kaydel confirmed back and closed the channel. She made a note of the frequency in case it came up again.

Poe said, "I'm going to miss that guy."

"Me, too," Kylo said with a wistful tone to his voice. He paced back to the view port and craned his neck again to see the slowly receding ships of the First Order fleet, like he couldn't get enough of looking at them.

Poe was done with his work for the time being. He let Kylo get a good, long look. Finally, he said, "You know, I've got a shortage of good pilots right now – at least ones I would trust to be responsible for other people's lives than their own. That's why I flew the shuttle over to the  _Finalizer_  and back, and why I'm sitting here in the navigator's chair instead of over there." He gestured at the captain's seat. Kylo turned and faced him.

Poe went on, "I'm expecting some trouble on the ground when we get where we're going. But I need to stay here."

"You need an extra pilot?"

"I could definitely use an extra pilot. Even better, one who had some familiarity with the planet and could help out with keeping our team safe. The whole reason we're here is because it's lawless."

"I … you said this group … was volunteer?"

"Yeah, I did." Poe waited to see what Kylo would do with that.

"I … volunteer?"

Poe nodded, pleased at getting what he'd hoped for. "I accept. Can you talk to your friends and see if they want to go, too? It might be helpful to have some people who look scary. Or it might not. I don't know. You guys will need to figure that out. I'm sure they can tone it down if they need to."

"I'll talk with them," Kylo said. "Grand Marshal Hux sent a data card with updated information on the insurrection. He gave it to me before I left. I haven't had the opportunity to review it." He pulled it from his belt and walked over to offer it to Poe, who took it.

Poe stood up. "We'll take a look at this tonight or tomorrow morning, in case something's changed. There's nothing for me to do here until we clear the debris field and get to the jump coordinates, so let me walk you back. We'll pick up Nera and I'll show you to your quarters, which should be where the others are."

"Thank you."


	3. Words of Steel

**A/N: I want to be clear this 'Luke and Leia were bad people' theme is not an authorial decision or something true about this AU. It's just current POV for certain characters, who will broaden their opinions as time passes. They had at least six years of being gaslighted by an emotionally manipulative telepath who was highly motivated to keep them firmly turned against Luke and their families. People don't get over that right away.**

Finn looked after the three as they walked away, watching as Kylo and Nera adjusted their steps to fall into cadence with Poe. It made him miss being a stormtrooper. There was no one around here who walked in step with him or even seemed to understand the concept. It was nice to see they had some sense of discipline and as poorly as the attempt to swear fealty had gone, Finn knew what they'd been offering. And probably more sincerely than he'd been in joining the Resistance. He turned to the one he'd been left with. Finn thought his name was Steel or Still or something like that.

The guy said, "You're that stormtrooper traitor, right? FN-…?"

"Finn," Finn said, bristling. "My name is Finn!" They'd been introduced in the shuttle, so unless the guy had a really short memory, this was an intentional insult.

Rey looked between the two of them with an expression that let Finn know he'd been more aggressive about his name than was called for. If it bothered the other man, he didn't show it. He gave a single, deep nod and said, "Finn. My name's Steel."

"Steel. Yeah. Sorry if that was too much," Finn grumbled. Maybe the guy did have a short memory. Finn had needed the reminder of his name, too, after all.

"Nah," the man said, "It's not a problem. I might give you shit about a lot of things, but not your name. That'd be really insensitive." Finn nodded and started to turn to the crates they needed to get moved. Steel went on, "I might as well be calling you 'foot soldier', though. Footy, maybe. Would that work?"

Finn turned back to him with an expression of confused outrage on his face. "What?" It wasn't a mistake or short memory, then.

Steel shrugged and smiled smugly at him. Not having the helmet on made his expression obvious. "Just saying."

"Picking a fight with Kylo Ren wasn't good enough for you?" Finn said, bristling all over again. "You want one with me, too?" He had a cold prickle at how badly this might go. But Finn had beaten Phasma in a fair fight. He wasn't about to back down.

"Eh, maybe not today. But sometime, sure."

Finn stared at him for a moment, then chuckled. "Okay. You're on." He shook his head, not sure what he was agreeing to. "Let's get this stuff loaded on that mover platform over there so we don't have to carry it halfway across the ship."

Some of the boxes were heavy. "What's in here anyway?" Finn asked after he found a second box heavy enough that he struggled with it. He was sorry the Resistance didn't have portage droids like the First Order. He hadn't had to lift anything to get it on the shuttle.

"Oh, I don't know," Steel said. "Ammo? Credits? Scrap metal? Snoke's head in a cryo-jar? Beats me. I guess I'll find out when I open it. They didn't let me pack my own stuff. Phasma was a regular buckethead about it."

"Phasma?" Finn said. "I can see that. So she just gave you a couple crates and said, 'This is your stuff?'"

"Yep, pretty much. If we happened to be wearing it from before we got caught, then we got to keep it, but otherwise, hell if I know. Fuseb would have done it different, but I don't know what's going to happen to Snoke's staff. Probably get canned. But most of them can't work in the Order anyway, so I guess that sucks for them."

"Why can't they work in the Order?" Finn asked.

Steel shrugged. "Different reasons."

Rey offered, "Brumos Fuseb is too large. I met another who couldn't … she wasn't combat effective. But I would think she could find an analyst position in the military."

"You think so?" Steel asked. "That's sweet. You talking about Annika Lem?"

"Yes," Rey answered. "You knew her?"

"Snoke's only got, like, a hundred people working for him and I was with him for years. Yeah, I know her. There were a couple others with the same problem, but they're either male or not analysts, so that narrows it down fast. She can't hack the military. She's out."

"What happens to her, then?" Rey asked, concerned.

Steel shrugged. "I dunno. Hux isn't the kind to make an exception. He likes his own people too much. The ones who  _passed_ ," he said with emphasis. "Not the ones who failed."

"She didn't fail," Rey said. "The system failed her."

"Either way. Maybe she'll end up on a planet somewhere doing something. Better her than me." They fell silent for a while as they finished loading and then drove the mover to the quarters they'd been assigned. Once there, they had the effort of unloading everything again.

"Can't you use the Force to make this easier? Like float this thing or something?" Finn asked as he and Steel were working together to get an especially heavy crate into the room designated for Rey and Kylo. The platform mover wouldn't fit through the door so they had to carry them further than they did in the hangar bay.

Steel laughed as they finished lugging it over against a wall and out of the way. Then he straightened. "Let me tell you a story. You see these muscles here?" Steel flexed his well-endowed bicep. Finn looked. He was well-built himself, but that only gave him a good sense of how much work went into a body like that. "Five or six years ago, I went down to one of the training units and had a talk with the droid there. I told it I wanted muscles like this. I was a lanky little moof-milker back then. The droid told me 'do this, do that, this way, for this long, then come back every other day and do it all over again.'"

"So I did. And in a few months?" Steel flexed his arm again. "I could tell something was happening. A few years? Wow. I was stout. I could lift. I could throw people around. If kriffing Kylo Ren hadn't been right there with me the whole time, I would be  _kicking his ass_." He leaned towards Finn for emphasis. "I am  _strong_  now, because I worked at it. Because I'm still working at it. And I'm getting stronger."

Steel leaned away and sucked his teeth briefly. "Now to answer your question, let's go back a little further. One day, I'm watching Kylo Ren bench press boulders with his mind while standing on his head or some stupid shit, and I think to myself, 'That looks really cool. I wish I could do that.' I go over to Luke and I ask him," Steel's voice took on a whiny falsetto, "'Master Luke, Master Luke, what can I do to be more powerful in the Force like Kylo Ren is?' Do you know what he told me?"

Finn shook his head.

His voice rose to an angry snarl. "Go fuck yourself! It can't be done! Pound sand! You're not my kriffing nephew so forget it!" Finn recoiled from the intensity. Steel broke out in a bitter laugh. "Yeah, that's what it's like to have the kriffing Force. It ain't kriffing fair! If it ain't there, it ain't there and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it! There's no training that makes you stronger, no way you can power up. You can learn new ways to use what little you got, but you still get to stand on the sidelines and watch while your betters do things you can only dream about!

"I was the weakest student Luke had. He asked me over and over if I wanted to just hang it up and go home. I hated his patronizing kriffing looks! He'd phrase it like there was no shame in it, but fuck that. I wasn't going to give up. I'll learn to use what I have and when that's not good enough, bam!" He raised a fist, indicating he'd hit anyone who got in his way.

They headed back to where the mover was parked in the corridor, working together to move another of the heavy crates. Rey picked up the chest she'd taken with her to the First Order and followed them in. It was the last of what they had to move.

Steel huffed and calmed down a little. Then he said, "I can push things around some, move light stuff, and Snoke taught me a bunch of little tricks, but that's about it. Sure was nice to work with a guy who wasn't always on my hind end for not being good enough."

"You mean Snoke?" Finn said. They heaved their crate on top of the other. "You liked him?" Finn leaned on the stack of crates.

"Snoke? Sure. I didn't have a problem with Snoke." At Finn's disbelieving look, Steel said, "I'll tell you another story. I was on Lebeka when the famine had rolled in. I was with a slave harvesting ship. I had to shoot some people, adults, who were trying to pass themselves off as children because they knew we were going to feed the kids once we got them on those ships. They were starving. Eyes hollowed, ribs showing, skin cracking, crawling with lice, and with dretchy leeches hanging off some of them. Do you know what people smell like when they're starving?"

Finn shook his head, appalled. He'd heard stories about Lebeka, so he didn't doubt a word of what Steel was saying.

"They have a smell. It's like yeast, kind of bready." Steel shook his head. "I don't care what the kriff happens to me, but I do not want to kriffing starve to death. I don't have enough power in the Force to be anything but a kriffing sideshow. But Snoke gave me all the food I wanted to eat, all the ammo I wanted to shoot, a comfortable place to sleep, and interesting things to do with my time. Plus, he never told me to pack it in and take off. What more can a person really want?" He spread his arms to either side. They walked out of the bedroom to the common area that linked the quad of four sleeping areas they'd been assigned to. Rey stayed in the bedroom, unpacking her chest, but she could hear them.

"Freedom, maybe?" Finn suggested.

"Pah! What the kriff would I do with freedom, huh? I was perfectly happy with what I had." Steel stood there thinking, then snarled. "It was fine, better than fine, until idiot boy-" He paused as Poe and Kylo Ren walked into the room. Nera followed them. Steel hesitated a beat longer, then continued, "Yeah, idiot boy right there, Kylo Fucking Ren, kriffed it all up for us!" He pointed.

"Hey," Poe said in objection.

Steel ignored him. He rounded on Kylo instead, unloading in as sudden and complete of a verbal attack as they had had earlier in physical. "We had it all!" Steel said. "Everything! You were the supreme kriffing leader and you threw it all away! What kind of an idiot do you have to be to do that in the kriffing First Order? They're a bunch of incompetent, rules-bound Force-nulls! How hard is it to keep them in line? If Snoke could manage it, then you could do it in your kriffing sleep! I've seen what you can do!"

"I don't want to have this discussion right now," Kylo said with a low, threatening tone. At Steel's raised voice, Rey had come to the doorway to the bedroom to see what was going on. Nera sidled past Kylo and Steel to sit on the couch with an unconcerned expression. Finn and Poe found themselves off to one side as spectators.

"Oh!" Steel said with exaggerated concern. "Of course not! You don't want to discuss it at all, ever, because I'm right and it was stupid. It's always going to have been stupid! Did it even occur to you how bad of an idea that was? Or was it just another episode of your stupid kriffing  _temper_  like slicing up Snoke to start with? Were you thinking about how any of that would effect anyone but yourself? What about me? What about her?" He gestured at Nera, who was watching the exchange placidly. "The others? Were you even thinking  _at all_  when you kriffing sold us to people who don't even want us?" He gestured at Poe, whose eyes widened.

"The High Command killed Jophesta!" Kylo snapped. "I had no choice!"

"Yeah, I know!" Steel was right in his face, nearly yelling back at him. "But there was a choice – kill the bastards who killed her and keep the kriffing throne! We're kriffing refugees now because of you! You have torn apart my life twice, you asshole! Think of someone other than yourself! For once in your kriffing life!"

"He  _was_ ," Rey said angrily. "I know. I was there!"

Steel spun and looked at her, then laughed hollowly. "Yeah,  _her_." He turned back to Kylo. "You were thinking about  _her_. You've known us for years. Years! How long have you known her? A few days?"

"Bad direction, Steel," Nera said in a calm voice. She shook her head slowly. "Bad."

"Why? Why is it a bad direction? Huh? He took Snoke from you." He had to step back to point at Kylo, who glared at the extended gloved finger like he wanted to bite it off. Steel continued to Nera, "You of all people should have something to say about that! And you have said nothing! Nothing!" Steel was yelling at her now.

"I said I would go with Kylo," Nera said evenly. "That's all should said."

Steel trotted back a few steps and sarcastically showcased Rey in the doorway. "Have you been introduced to this person yet? Have you been listening when he talks about her?" He gestured at Kylo Ren. "You have no kriffing chance with him!"

Finn and Poe glanced between Nera, Kylo, and Rey, realizing the awkward love triangle Steel was suggesting, along with the rather sickening possibility that Snoke had had a lover of some kind. And she was here with them. Rey was looking between Kylo and Nera with enough surprise to show she hadn't known. Nera's expression never changed.

"This is not a discussion for public," Kylo said, teeth clenched.

"Go fuck yourself on a sharp rock, Kylo," Steel said. "I'll talk about what I want, when I want! You think I haven't been wanting to say this since the moment you wouldn't give us straight answers after Snoke's body hit the floor? You wouldn't answer us then, you're gonna answer us now! Jophesta's dead because you sent us away and wouldn't tell us what the kriff was going on!"

Kylo moved his hands uneasily and paced back and forth a few steps, fuming and glaring at the floor. Rey looked over helplessly at Poe and Finn. Poe shrugged.

"You're not in charge!" Steel yelled at him as Kylo paced. "That was never the deal. Ever! That's what I'm so angry about. Don't you understand that? You ruined things for all of us, twice – kriffing twice! – three times if I count Luke but I don't, and all without so much as a kriffing heads-up! No wonder the others took the fuck off, kriffing vote of no-"

Kylo bared his teeth and flicked his hand up. Steel was thrown back against the wall hard enough to dent it.

"Hey! Hey!" Poe said, jumping forward between the two of them. "Whoa."

"Back off!" Steel said after a brief cough, but his comment was directed at Poe and not Kylo. "This is none of your kriffing business!" He started to get up.

Kylo jerked his legs out from under him using the Force, dumping him on his butt again. "Stay down!" he snarled in a loud, commanding voice. Poe stepped to the side. Him being between the two had no effect. He looked back and forth between them, trying to get a feel for the situation. He could see how Hux had gotten his bruises.

"Kylo," Rey said, either as a warning or just to get his attention. He didn't respond.

"It's his ship, Steel," Kylo said to Steel through clenched teeth. "It's his business! You're the one wanting to have this out right in front of them. What did you think would happen? Don't you dare get us kicked out of here! I have never asked any of you to follow me!" His voice shook with his last two statements.

"Have Nera wipe their memories and make them leave then," Steel said after a beat. He was still on the floor. "You can make them do whatever you want! This can be our ship now!"

"No," Kylo said, his voice still wavering with anger, frustration, and pent-up emotion. He walked over to the couch and sat next to Nera, putting his face in his hands and breathing hard, possibly crying. He shook his head.

Nera looked from him to Rey, then rose and gestured to where she'd been sitting. Rey crossed the room quietly. She and Nera traded places. Nera leaned against the doorframe and tilted her head at Steel, giving him a sympathetic look. Steel rolled his eyes and huffed, shooting Kylo a glare and then looking at the floor with pursed lips. Poe looked at Finn, then they both looked back and forth at the various others. A long, quiet moment passed.

"Well, fuck me with a rusted knobber, you moralistic twitch," Steel said finally with a resigned sigh. "You are the most inconvenient asshole ever. Can I at least get up now?"

"Yes." Kylo still had his face buried in his hands. Rey held him with an arm around his back at waist level.

Steel got to his feet and stretched his back with a grimace. He spoke in a normal tone. "Yeah, okay, that was a low blow about the others. I shouldn't have said that. With Luke gone, Casp and Tark – I'm sure they had things they wanted to do. They always did. Just couldn't."

"And Snoke gone. It wasn't just Luke," Kylo said, voice muffled by his hands.

"Eh, Snoke wasn't the problem. You could take him." Steel laughed once, like it was a joke. "I guess you did take him."

"It wasn't  _easy_!" Kylo said through clenched teeth, looking up for a brief moment.

"Hey, I know that," Steel said in a serious tone. There was no levity now. He took a step closer to Kylo, very intent on him. "To be honest, I can't imagine how you got that past him, unless it was an accident or something."

Kylo sighed and folded his hands in front of him, letting his head hang again. His face was screened by his hair. "It wasn't an accident."

"And?" Kylo said nothing. Steel went on, "That's all you're going to tell us about it, huh?" Steel looked at him seriously for a moment longer before shrugging it off and going back to his dismissive persona. "Well, good for you, then, I suppose. Sucks for the rest of us, though," he concluded bitterly. Steel paced the room, trying to his back into proper alignment. "Did Tonza even say anything to you?"

Kylo shook his head.

"But she heard you, right?" Steel asked. "You're sure?"

Kylo nodded.

"Fuck," Steel said, throwing his hands up in frustration. "We'd left her with the kriffing ship I don't know how many kriffing times before and it was no kriffing big deal. And now of all times, she decides to fuck off and be kriffing Tonza? What the kriffing hell?"

"Every few words are vulgar," Nera said thoughtfully. "It should be poetry, but it's not."

Steel gave her a look. "What you know about poetry?"

"It rhymes like music," she said. "Good music. Not yours."

He scoffed at her and faced Kylo. "None of this would have happened if you'd kept in touch with her, with Tonza."

Kylo looked up at him, his face wet. "You were on an espionage mission against First Order targets. There's no frequency I could use that wouldn't be overheard. That's standard. We even discussed it before you left!"

"Use that kriffing thing you two did yesterday." He waved at Kylo and Rey.

"It wasn't an option then!" Kylo growled. "I didn't know you'd even been captured until Jophesta died. How would I know, Steel? How would I know that?"

"The Force! A vision. Something! One of those kriffing feelings you get about things." Steel waved his arm indistinctly and without vigor. He seemed to know he was wrong on this one.

"'Feelings'?" Kylo snorted contemptuously. He put his head down again, elbow on knee and the heel of his hand against his forehead. "I've had more of those than I want, than I know what to do with. I don't even remember if I slept." He snarled, but his voice shook anyway.

Steel looked at him and sighed. "You sound kriffing miserable." It came out as a mildly curious observation. Kylo's jaw and lips worked sullenly, like he was on the verge of tears again.

Rey gave Steel a hard look. "If I understand the timing correctly, that's when his mother died."

Steel didn't care. He rolled his eyes. "Every one of our families needs a fragging for dumping us like pets who couldn't be house-broken. So she finally got hers. Cry me a river."

Kylo glared up at Steel, his lips pressing together tightly. But it was Poe who couldn't handle it. "What did you say?" the general demanded.

"Peh," Steel puffed out air dismissively. "If she even liked him, it's not like any of us could tell."

"You wouldn't say that if you'd ever met her!" Poe snapped, moving forward. "She loved her family – all of them!"

"Yeah, right," Steel said, getting into Poe's face right back. "Guess what? I didn't meet her. You know why? She never kriffing once came by. Go suck up to someone who deserves it!" Steel snorted offensively and started to turn away.

Poe grabbed him by the shoulder and smashed his fist into the man's mouth as he spun him back around. Steel wrapped his arm around Poe's, tying it up and lifting to hyperextend his elbow. Poe twisted and slammed his other shoulder into Steel's chest, hooking a leg around the bigger man's to tangle him up. They both went crashing to the floor. The fist of Steel's free hand came up and froze in the air, just in time to give Poe a shot to hit him square in the nose.

The hard deck behind Steel's head made it impossible for him to soften the blow with any kind of dodge. His head thunked when Poe hit him. The grip on Poe's other arm loosened. Poe reared back to hit him again. This time it was his own fist that stopped moving. His head snapped around to look at it. It felt like someone had grabbed his wrist. Then it was free. Poe looked past it to Kylo, who had his open hand up and pointed toward him, but was still sitting on the couch.

"If he is not yours, then stop hitting him." Kylo's teeth were slightly bared.

Poe stared at him for a moment, then looked back at Steel, who looked frozen in place now that Poe was paying attention. Poe got to his feet and moved away, calming himself down. Finn put a hand on Poe's back and then chest, moving in front of him protectively as Poe walked over to the wall and rubbed at his aching elbow.

Steel rolled over, bleeding heavily from his nose. He was looking at Kylo as though there were some unseen conversation between them. Steel got himself to his feet and walked off into his quarters without a word spoken aloud. Kylo's fingers twitched. The door activated to shut behind Steel. Kylo turned his attention to Poe. "I apologize for his words. They were disrespectful to … General Organa. Is that sufficient?" He sounded tired, like this was the last thing he wanted to be saying at this moment.

"I don't need an apology from you," Poe said. "You didn't say anything!"

Kylo sighed, swallowed, and tried again, looking over at the blood Steel had left on the deck. "If you will not accept our oaths, then you deal with me, not him. He is under my protection. If you require him to leave, I will go with him. You have my apology. Is more necessary for us to settle this?"

Poe moved around Finn towards Kylo. "Nobody said anything about anyone needing to leave. I would think you'd be the one offended here, though."

Kylo glared up at him. "I've already been through this with Hux. He has never been so certain he was about to die on his knees for something so pointless as my mother's 'honor'. I am ashamed of myself for that and I won't do it again. Not for her. Not for my father. Not for some ideal neither of them ever lived up to."

Poe blinked at him, then looked down at his bruised knuckles. "She was a great woman. Maybe you just didn't know her."

"Why would that be?" Kylo asked coldly. He didn't wait for an answer. "I have spent too long living in fear of other people's regard for my 'great' relatives." Angrily, he sneered, "I would think that we, as the ones directly effected by our parent's actions, would be better informed about it than you, or anyone else who knew them by casual association or mere reputation years after the fact."

Poe gave him a very long, sober look, then curled his lips inside his mouth and nodded slowly. "You're right. I think you're right."

Kylo just looked at him for another long moment and repeated his request a third time. "Is more required to put this behind us?"

"No," Poe said. "We're good."

At that, Nera opened the door to Steel's quarters and went inside. Kylo watched the door even after it shut. Rey twined her fingers into his, but didn't try to follow the tendrils of the Force that showed her his attention was with them. Kylo was angry, but she anchored him. Rey watched Poe instead, emotions flickering across his face as he tried to reconcile the complexity of Kylo's relationship with Leia to the general Poe idolized.

Poe looked at the door as well, following Kylo's gaze. A moment later, it opened and Nera exited. "Is he going to be alright?" Poe asked. "I hit him pretty hard that second time."

"He sleeps," was all she said.

"He just laid down and went to sleep?" Poe asked in surprise.

"She took away his pain," Kylo said. "It's temporary. Like a narcotic. I'll talk to him when he wakes. His behavior reflects poorly on all of us."

Poe sighed. "It really doesn't. All he did was yell a lot."

"He's used to an environment where discretion is unnecessary. We're not there anymore."

Poe gave Kylo a side-eye. "You mean he's used to you guys just mind-wiping anyone who hears something they shouldn't?"

Kylo shrugged.

"Yeah," Poe said quietly. "I caught that. And that you're not doing that anymore. Good. That's the right decision." He sighed. "I'll give you guys some privacy. I should have done that to start with, but I kept thinking it was going to escalate. He was right, too. This is none of my kriffing business."

Kylo said nothing to that, so Poe nodded and left, jerking his head at Finn to accompany him.


	4. Setting Watch

"Wow," Poe said as he walked down the hall with Finn. "Those guys are intense."

Finn was pushing the mover platform, heading towards the hangar bay. "You're telling me. Did you hear what he said, though? About taking the ship? Just taking it!"

"Yeah, I heard." Poe stopped and ran a hand through his hair, looking upwards as he did.

"What are you going to do about it?" Finn stopped next to him.

"What is there do to?" Poe looked over at Finn. "I also heard Kylo say no."

"You could do something about  _them_ ," Finn said. "They don't need to stay here. Just drop them off somewhere. What if they change their mind?"

"Rey could take the ship whenever she wanted," Poe pointed out.

Finn's brows drew together. "She wouldn't. Even if she could."

"Yeah? Well, neither will he."

Finn blinked at him. "Did he mess with your mind back on Naboo? You seem really trusting of him for some reason."

"I'm looking at what he's actually done, that I know of, for a fact, and recently," Poe said. "That's why I'm trusting him. He left the First Order at their request. They had a trial. They found against him. They deposed him. He left peacefully, Finn. From what Rey said, he didn't have to. He could have fought it and Hux would have backed him. If he wanted a ship, he would have stayed with them and had a whole fleet of them. He didn't come here because he was looking forward to joining the Resistance."

"What about the other two? It's not just him."

Poe grimaced. "If Steel was able to do it himself, then he wouldn't have asked Kylo or Nera to do it instead. I don't know about Nera. Not a thing."

"What if something happens to Rey?" Finn asked. "It sounded like Nera might have some reasons why she'd want Rey out of the picture."

Poe frowned, looking down now. "All I know is what I saw. Nera's the one Kylo sat down next to when he was upset, and she was also the one who gave up her seat immediately to Rey. What do you think that means?"

"I don't know," Finn said.

"Neither do I. She's not human. I'm not getting anywhere trying to read her expressions, but that little body language looked pretty clear to me," Poe said. "Do you think Kylo and Rey are sharing a bed?" Finn's brows rose. He gave Poe an odd look and didn't answer. Poe explained, "There are four rooms in a quad setup like where they are. I put them in there thinking two knights, Kylo, and Rey – they'd be together and it would keep them away from everyone else. But if Kylo and Rey are in the same room, then there should be an empty bed."

"Oh." Finn thought for a moment, then nodded as he remembered. "She put her stuff in the same room with Kylo's. They're … together."

"Okay," Poe said. "Then move in."

"What? Me?"

"Yeah, you. You know something of their background anyway. Maybe you've got things in common. Keep an eye on them. Make sure they're not planning something. Make sure Rey's okay."

Finn was skeptical until Poe's last statement. Then he sighed. "Yeah, I can do that. They've only been here an hour and they've already had two fights." He shook his head.

"Ah," Poe put a hand to his forehead. "Yeah, it's probably been an hour. Listen, I've gotta run to the bridge and get us into hyperspace. I'll talk with you later, okay?" Poe said and jogged off in the direction of the bridge.


	5. Backroom Bickering

Finn opened the door to the quad quarters assigned to Kylo, Rey, and the knights. Rose was with him. They were each carrying a box of Finn's stuff. He didn't have much. "We all good in there?" he called out before entering, in case they were fighting or whatever it was they did when left alone.

"Yes," Rey answered. He and Rose walked in. Rey was sitting sideways on Kylo's lap and as far as Finn could tell, they were just sitting there holding each other calmly as though it weren't at all unusual to be draped across one another.

"Oh. Um." Finn stared, then jerked his eyes away. He supposed maybe that was what they did when left alone. Less violent than he'd expected. Rose smiled and giggled. Rey slid off to the side to sit next to Kylo. Finn went on, "We just came to drop off my stuff and see if you guys wanted lunch."

"Yes," Kylo said. He stood, his hand lingering on Rey's until the last possible moment. "The others, too?" He gestured at the door to Steel's sleeping room.

"Yeah," Finn said. "All of you. You're together, right? Like a squad? Kind of a half squad …"

Kylo glanced at him and didn't answer, but he went to the door to Steel's quarters and buzzed it. Nera opened it a moment later. He told her, "Mealtime. How much longer will he sleep?" He nodded towards Steel, who was still on the bed.

She said, "I can wake him now."

"He needs to be cleaned up." Kylo turned to Finn. "Can I get water and a cloth?"

"Yeah, sure. Hang on." Finn set his box down in the empty room and departed. Rose put the box she'd been carrying on the bed next to his.

After he was out, Rey went in with Rose. "Are you two both moving in?"

Rose shook her head. "No. I was just helping him with his stuff. Clothes, mostly. Can you help me put stuff up?" She pulled out the drawers under the bed and they started transferring things.

Rey helped. "So he's going to be staying here? That's nice." Rose nodded.

Finn returned with a coffee cup of warm water, a washcloth, and one of the portable first aid kits from the corridor wall. "I didn't know if you might need this," he told Kylo.

"Thank you." Kylo took the items into the narrow room where Steel was sitting. Nera left the room – it was too crowded with three of them. The bedrooms weren't set up to be anything but sleeping and changing areas. The common area they were attached to was supposed to serve as a shared living space. Nera took a seat on the couch. Rose introduced herself to Nera while Finn loitered at the entrance to Steel's room.

Finn asked, "Anything I can do?"

"No, we've got it," Steel said to Finn. Then to Kylo, he said, "I can do it myself. Give me the washcloth." Steel scrubbed his face carefully. Kylo sat on the crate that had been moved into the room. It was across from the bed. He looked down at it.

"Is this your money?" Kylo asked.

"Uh?" Stone looked up at him, so Kylo repeated the question.

"Is this the money from the First Order?"

"Yeah," Steel said. "Now shut up."

"Money?" Finn said from the door, because it was stupid to pretend he hadn't heard that from all of two paces away. "That really is a box of credits? No wonder it's so heavy!" Then his head snapped around, looking at the other rooms. "Those are all boxes of credits? They sent you off with that much?"

Steel shook his head, glaring at Kylo. "You and your kriffing big mouth. Damn. How do you kriffing do it? You always find the exact wrong thing to say. It's like a gift."

Kylo gave Finn a sour look.

Finn ignored the look and said to Steel, "You were lying to me earlier. You knew what was in them. I bet you even got to pack your own stuff. That wasn't anything Phasma did. They wouldn't do that to you if they were letting you leave with entire crates of credits."

"Kriffing big mouth," Steel repeated. "If all our stuff disappears while we're out, it's your fault." Kylo pulled a face and said nothing. "Where'd that other guy go?" Steel asked. "The one who hit me?" He handed the washcloth and coffee cup to Kylo and dug into the first aid pack looking for something specific.

Kylo said, "Poe left." He walked the cup and cloth over to Finn. "Can you set that down or return it?" Finn nodded, but didn't go anywhere yet. He wanted to hear what Steel had to say about Poe.

"Yeah, what's he doing?" Steel pulled out a packet of pills before diving back in for something else.

"General things," Kylo said, walking back over and sitting down. "What are you looking for?"

Steel stopped his search and stared at Kylo. "General things? Because he's a general. Ha, ha. Very funny."

Kylo shrugged. "What are you looking for?" he repeated.

"I'd tell you not to quit your day job," Steel said, "but you already did. Here. Surgical glue." He handed over a small packet. "I don't want to eat lunch with a cut lip."

"You should have a droid do this." But Kylo scooted the crate closer (easily, with the Force) and examined the glue packet for how to open it. Steel opened the pill packet and swallowed them dry. "What were those?" Kylo asked.

"Painkillers, I think. Not totally positive, but I doubt even the Resistance puts poison in their first aid kits. I don't know what kind of droids they have, though. You've done this before."

"When we were planetside, yeah. You're going to eat random pills you found in a bag, but you don't trust droids programmed to treat you? They have a medbay here," Kylo said.

"It's fully equipped," Finn said from the doorway.

"You're the one who stopped me from swinging. Left me wide open so he could smack me. You get to do the honors," Steel said, looking at Kylo.

Kylo grimaced and leaned forward, looking at Steel's mouth. "Is it just that on the outside, or does it go inside?"

"Inside, too. Look." Steel turned his lip out. "He really decked me." He chuckled a little. "Both times. I don't think he broke my nose, but I can't breathe through it."

Kylo leaned and looked at the lip. "Yeah. I can do that. I'm going to touch your nose." Kylo put his fingers to the top of it for a moment, then shook his head. "Not broken. Cartilage is separated. You'll be fine." He held up the glue and warned, "This is going to taste."

"Don't care," Steel said. "They probably have weird food here anyway."

"Hold still then." Kylo leaned close and raised the tube, but what exactly he was doing, from Finn's vantage point, was unclear. The finger and thumb of each hand held opposite sides of Steel's lip with the opened glue packet slipped between his pinkie and ring finger. He was looking intently at the wound.

Finn left to take the cup and cloth across the hall, since he could already see a trickle of blood going down Steel's chin. It didn't sound like he was going to miss anything critical for the minute or so it would take him.

After he left, Nera moved to the doorway he'd previously occupied. Rose and Rey finished unpacking in Finn's room and came out. They sat on the couch. They only had the sound to go by, but they could hear Steel and Kylo's conversation easily.

There was a moment of silence and a throat noise from Steel. Kylo said, "You know, this will heal faster if you learn to keep your mouth shut."

"Me?"

"Stop moving."

"Uhg."

"I said stop moving," Kylo said. "Do you need me to hold you still?" Silence. "Okay then, give it another few seconds to dry. Keep your tongue back." More silence. "That should be good."

"I'm not the one with the big mouth," Steel said. "What about him out there and our money? Nera's right there. Have her do something about it."

"If Rey trusts him, I trust him," Kylo said.

Steel scoffed. "If Snoke had been a good-looking woman, you'd have never killed him."

"Looks have nothing to do with it," Kylo said.

Finn came back in. Seeing Nera where he'd been before, he squeezed in next to Rose on the couch.

"Yeah, so you-" Steel said to Kylo. "Hey, don't go. Come here." There was some shifting and movement as the two men stood and Kylo put the crate back against the wall. Steel continued, "My back. I've got a rib out of pocket or something."

"Why are you so fragile?" Kylo asked with mock crankiness. "Where is it?"

"Go pick on someone your own size next time! It's below my shoulder blades."

"You're heavier than I am. Right here?"

"Yeah," Steel said. "Like weight has anything to do with it. Ha. 'Size matters not' – pretty rich coming from a guy who's never been with anyone."

Kylo snorted and started laughing like a teenage boy. Steel chuckled too, then made pained noises. "Ow, that hurts. Fix my back, asshole. I can't laugh."

"If you'd quit saying funny things, maybe I could. Here. I feel it."

"Ah!" Steel made a pleased sound. "Oh. That's good." He sighed and sounded more relaxed. "We need to just take all this money and go find a scummy little backwater dirtball. We could set up a spice shop or a pleasure shack, you and Nera. You give people spinal adjustments and Nera makes them feel good, and I can make sure everyone pays up the way they should. You guys could pay me in services rendered or something. Just lay me out every night. That would be great."

Kylo chuckled. "That's your dream retirement? We just go somewhere and make people feel good every day? That's nice."

"Not nice,  _vice_. Vice pays. People will give you credits for that stuff. It's a lot less complicated than trying to take things from them. They always want to bicker about that, or come back and shoot you later over it. It's safer to make them happy. Or to kill them to start with, like you always said. Speaking of which, you seem to have come down with a bad case of morals lately. This whole humanitarian mission? What's that all about?"

"You agreed to come along. Are we done now? I'm hungry."

"Yeah, I'm good. So you're going to skip answering that one, too, though?"

"You either come with me or you don't, Steel. That's always how it's been. Do you want to eat?"

"Eh, okay. Fine. I'm coming. How's the food here?"

"How would I know?"

"I don't know. I thought you knew everything. Know-it-all."

They walked out of Steel's room, with Steel giving Kylo a friendly shove to the back as they went. Kylo didn't miss a step. "We're ready now," he said to the group.


	6. Lunch room chat

They reached the lunch room, went through the line, made selections from the options presented, and found a table big enough for the group of them. Along the way, Rose was introduced to Kylo and Steel.

Finn said awkwardly, "Um … I'm supposed to be … friendly with you guys." Kylo stirred his soup, eyes down. Steel was eating a roll and looked at him directly. Nera was watching people at a different table. Other than keeping an occasional eye on Nera, Rey was paying attention to Finn, as was Rose.

Finn went on, "We're going to be in the same quad quarters and all. Poe seemed to think I had something in common with you guys, like we could relate somehow."

"Why did you leave the First Order?" Kylo asked outright, lifting his head and blowing past the preamble.

Finn blinked at him. "Um, yeah, that's direct. Okay. Here's direct right back at you then – it's because you ordered me to kill unarmed villagers."

"Why did you care about them?" Kylo asked. "They weren't First Order."

"They killed one of my friends who was  _in_  the First Order," Finn said.

"Unarmed villagers did that?" He was being snide.

"They had weapons to start with. You ordered us to kill them after we'd taken the weapons away. They were just defending themselves!"

"Hm." Kylo sounded unconvinced. "Poe Dameron shot down a few troopers as well."

"Shooting people to defend others is right! Tell me, why did you kill Snoke?" Finn challenged him.

Kylo looked at Rey. She said, "I … told them what happened. They know."

"Everything?"

Rey swallowed and licked her lips. Now everyone at the table was watching her, especially Steel and Nera. "I … no." Kylo looked at Finn blankly as though that was his answer: none at all. Rey said, "There were things I didn't feel they needed to know about Snoke, or what he did exactly, or you. Things that … I didn't know if they should be private. Between us."

"Ah," Kylo said. "Yes."

Finn cleared his throat. "So, uh, am I right that I'm not getting an answer then … either?" He looked over at Steel, then back to Kylo.

Kylo went back to eating his soup as though the conversation was over. Steel looked at Finn and shrugged at him.

"I'll answer you," Rey said. "Snoke used me to find out where Luke Skywalker was. He said he would use that information to kill Luke. And then he … presented me … to Kylo and demanded Kylo kill me."

"What happened then?" Steel asked. Rey looked at him uncertainly. He said, "Kylo didn't tell us squat."

"I told you some," Kylo grumbled.

"Yeah, you said you killed Snoke. I could have figured that out on my own, asshole. I want to hear her version," Steel said.

Rey looked at Kylo. "Is this okay that I'm telling this?"

He shrugged, still toying with his soup although he looked disinterested in it now. "Mostly I just don't want to talk about it. I don't care who knows. Keep in mind some in the First Order still think you did it."

"Kylo killed him instead of killing me," Rey said.

"How?" Nera asked, turning her attention to Rey.

Rey looked at Kylo again. He was frowning, moving the spoon around slowly. She touched his forearm and could tell he was nauseated. His head was pounding. He felt hot. But a few minutes earlier, he'd been fine. "I-" she looked at Nera. "With a lightsaber. I don't want to talk about it, either."

"What, he just walked up to him and took a swing?" Steel asked.

"I said I don't want to talk about it," Rey said firmly.

Steel huffed and went back to his food.

Finn said, "I don't need to know the details. I brought it up because you thought you had a good reason to kill him, right?"

Kylo looked up at him without raising his head, looking up from under his brows. "Yes."

"Fine. There wasn't a good reason to kill those villagers."

"It's a poor comparison," Kylo said slowly, relaxing a little. "It was a military operation seeking Luke's location on Supreme Leader Snoke's orders. Do you even know anything about the Church of the Force?"

"No," Finn said. "What's that?"

"It wasn't a village so much as a religious commune. I'm sure Luke would have approved. The galaxy is better off without them in it, propagating ridiculous ideas about the Force and the Jedi."

"You ordered them killed because of their religion?" Finn asked.

Kylo spoke more firmly. "I ordered them killed because they were allies of Luke Skywalker and sheltering a man who was hiding Luke's location from us. I wanted all of Skywalker's other allies to know the cost of denying me. I wanted  _him_  to know the cost of continuing to hide instead of coming out and facing me."

Finn blinked at him, but didn't back down. "That's brutal," he said in condemnation. "And petty. I'm glad I never fired. I'm sorry for even being there. They didn't deserve to pay for your feud with their lives, no matter what they believed."

Kylo shrugged. "It's settled."

Finn's nose wrinkled in dissatisfaction and disgust.

Steel said to Kylo, "So if this is the famous traitor-"

"Famous?" Finn interrupted, perplexed.

"Yeah, you're famous." Steel turned back to Kylo. "Then he's the one you said you cut down on Starkiller, right?"

"Yes."

Steel looked over at Finn. "He looks pretty lively."

Kylo gave Steel a level look. "I never said I killed him. I said I cut him down."

"That's the thing," Steel said. "We used to joke that you ought to be called the Finalizer because you said after Luke, you'd never leave anyone alive. They come back and cause problems. And that's what he's talking about. On Jakku – you wanted them all to die. That's what you ordered." Steel jerked a thumb at Finn. "A week, a few days later, something like that, and he's still up and kicking. Why didn't you kill him?"

Finn blinked at Steel, then at Kylo. Then he looked at Rey. Finn said to her, "You said … You told me if he'd wanted to kill you on Starkiller, he could have." He looked at Kylo, it having never occurred to him that the same might apply to himself. His memory was that Kylo had knocked him down with frightening ease, but the next time he was conscious was on the  _Raddus_. Once he was down, though, what would it have taken to end him? A single swipe of the blade was all. Had Kylo really been so rushed that he hadn't had time for that? "Why did you not kill me?"

Kylo pressed his lips together and took great interest in his food, which he still wasn't actually eating. "I didn't care. I didn't think about it."

"That's my point," Steel said. "You've always been real particular in the past. Snoke was still alive when you two were on Starkiller, so that wasn't it. What changed?"

"It wasn't a priority," Kylo said. "I had other things on my mind."

Steel looked at Rey. "Was that the first time you two met?"

"No," she said. "We met on Takodana a day or two earlier. I understand you feel it's important to know this, but this feels like an interrogation."

"It is," Steel nodded agreeably. "I don't have a great 'feel' for this stuff through the Force. I have to ask questions." He looked back to Kylo. "So that Starkiller thing. That's when you got all sliced up, right?"

"Yes."

"By her, or him?"

"Her, mainly."

"Those were pretty shallow cuts," Steel said, looking to Rey. "Was that on purpose?"

Rey didn't quite answer. Instead, she said, "It was the first time I'd used a lightsaber in battle."

Steel's brows rose. He looked at Kylo. "Really? You let her cut you four or five different times?" Kylo grumbled something completely inarticulate. Steel asked, "Does the Force bond scramble your wits or something?"

"No," Kylo said sulkily, understandable now.

"What if she'd cut something off?" Steel asked.

"She did not," Kylo said quietly.

"And how does that work, anyway, that bond?" Steel asked. "Do you just see your soulmate and it clicks into place? Or do you have to do something intentional to activate it, like one of Snoke's links?"

Kylo's jaw worked. "I-" He shook his head. He seemed unable to bring himself to speak.

Nera laid her hand over Steel's. "You will ask your questions other time."

Steel blinked. Kylo raised his head. Steel said to Kylo, "I will ask my questions other time." His tone echoed Nera's.

Kylo's eyes went between the two of them, then he said, "Good," and finally took a spoonful of soup.

There was a moment of silence around the table. Steel went back to eating. Nera continued as she had been doing before, going back to watching the other table with a daydreaming, distant expression. Rey was looking at Finn and Rose, who were both taken aback. Finn finally said to Kylo, "Is that okay? That's considered okay?"

"We have lived with each other for more than ten years with the Force as a daily feature of our lives," Kylo said. "Yes, that's considered okay. The command's harmless."

Steel blinked at him. "What? Did Nera just tell me to shut the kriff up?"

"Yes," Kylo said.

Steel grunted. "Yeah, we'll see how well that works. Are you going to eat your food or just play with it?"

"I'd eat if you'd stop … bothering me," Kylo said.

"Huh," Steel said. "Never used to bother you in the past. You ate like a bantha no matter what."

"Then you have a poor memory!" Kylo growled in frustration.

Steel tilted his head, thinking. "Well … Six years ago, though?" Kylo gave him a look that didn't disagree with the date of them leaving Luke and joining Snoke. "I think that put us all off our feed for a while."

"I am not well, also too," Nera said.

Steel sighed, turned, and hugged her. "That's a lot from you. You hardly ever say shit."

"This does not help," she said from within his embrace.

"It's what I've got, pretty lady. It's what I've got." Steel let go of her and looked at the both of them. "It's going to be okay. You both know that, right? We're fine."

Kylo rolled his eyes and gestured at his tray. "What do you want? Just take whatever. I'm not going to eat it anyway."

Steel didn't hesitate. "That roll and the green stuff." Kylo handed them over. "Next time you're not feeling like eating, make sure to get some of that orange pudding. That was good."

Finn said, "You know, you can get seconds here. They serve those."

"Seconds?" Steel perked up. "Wow, I haven't had seconds since the academy." He looked over at the food line. "I'm going to be the size of Jabba the Hutt by the end of this."

"Seconds?" Rey asked, uncertain on the concept herself.

"A second helping of food," Finn said. "You can eat all you want."

"Oh, extra portions." She understood that (and that it was considered acceptable to go through the line more than once). "I'd never heard it called that."

Steel chuckled. "I tried to explain seconds to a food scientist in the Order once. She was not having it." He shook his head at the memory. "They have everyone on these calculated, calorie-controlled, nutrient profiles."

Rose smiled in agreement. "I had to explain it a couple times to Finn, too."

Finn nodded. After picking at his food for a moment, Finn said, "Guys, I feel hopeless here. I have no idea how we're supposed to work together and relate to each other aside from … stress eating, or whatever."

"You're relating fine," Kylo said with a dry chuckle. "Especially for someone who tried to kill me a few weeks ago. It's not like we get along all that well with each other, either. How did you get along with your squadron?"

"Uh … It didn't always go smooth." Finn thought about it for a moment, remembering the tension between himself and Nines and Zeroes over Slip. "That's a good point. How do you … deal with that?"

Kylo shrugged. "I try to remember we all came from the same place – the knights. That first day, when we left in the cargo hold of that freighter," he looked over at Steel and Nera, a different expression on his face, both remembering and aware of them, "we were all terrified. Smelled of smoke and blood and most of it not ours. But we were together. We'd chosen to be that way. That's what I remembered, no matter what Snoke did – that these were people who had chosen to stand up for me … when they didn't have to."

Steel said, "Hey, I know I said a bunch of shit this morning, but I don't regret going with you."

Kylo nodded slightly. The set of his shoulders eased. He turned to Finn. "How did you deal with issues with your squadron?"

Half a smile crossed Finn's face. He glanced around the table. "Uh … no one I'm talking about is still alive, as far as I know, so, um …" He sighed, then decided to open up anyway, because what Kylo had just shared was as open as anything. "There was one of the squad named Slip. He was always getting in trouble, falling behind, taking a long time to learn things. He probably should have been sorted as a worker, not a stormtrooper, but I guess he just got lucky on the tests.

"The others … and Captain Phasma … wanted me to leave him behind. Just leave him. Let him fail. I wouldn't." Finn swallowed and curled his lips inward tensely. "On Jakku, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was shot. And died. Because we were attacking those villagers." Finn shook his head. "I decided right then that I wasn't going to do this anymore. That's … when I left. In my head, even if I hadn't figured out yet how to do it with the rest of me." He looked at Kylo, who was watching him quietly. "You looked over at me. You saw me."

"I did."

"Why didn't you do anything?" Finn asked. It was something he was genuinely, morbidly curious about.

"My job there was to find the map to Skywalker. Not to discipline stormtroopers or comfort them. I could feel your grief. It drew my attention. But how you dealt with it was not my concern."

From the other side of Finn, Rose asked, "Do you feel it when the people you're killing … die?"

"Yes."

"That must be terrible," she said.

"Not if you close off your compassion," Kylo said. "It's only data then, like a stormtrooper in emotional turmoil. Irrelevant to my mission."

"How do you close off compassion?" Rose asked.

"With the dark side of the Force," Kylo said. "I'm not doing it anymore, though."

Nera gave him an appraising look. "Ah. You have opened both doors. The meaning is here now."

Steel looked back and forth between the two of them. "You mean that first thing with Snoke? We all went through that. It liked to killed us. Why are you going back to the light side?"

"I am not," Kylo said, showing his teeth briefly. "I'm not picking sides. I'm using both."

"Both Snoke and Luke said that was impossible," Steel said. "No one can be open to both."

"No 'one' can," Kylo said quietly. "I'm not alone."

Steel looked at Rey, obviously putting one and one together to get two. She blushed and looked down, reaching over to put her hand on Kylo's leg under the table. She murmured, "Neither are you."

"Fuck me," Steel said. "No kriffing wonder you killed that bastard."


	7. Sitting Watch

Finn opened the door to the common area to find Kylo Ren sitting on the floor cross-legged, eyes shut. He was situated against the wall between the open doors to Nera's quarters and Steel's. Past him, Finn could see Nera lying in repose on her bed. He looked at Kylo, whose lightsaber hilt was unclipped from his belt and sitting on his crossed shins.

Before Finn could say anything, he heard a rough gasp from Steel's room, followed by, "Kylo?"

"Yes?" Kylo didn't stir or open his eyes. He looked like he was meditating, aside from speaking.

"I heard a noise." Steel's voice sounded less guarded than usual, like he'd just woke up, but Finn couldn't see him from the angle.

"Finn just walked in."

Finn furrowed his brow. He hadn't said anything and Kylo still hadn't opened his eyes. But he sounded absolutely certain of who he was.

Steel asked curiously, "What are you doing? Are you standing guard?"

"Yes."

"Huh," Steel said. He sighed, coughed once, and rolled over in his bed.

Finn finally spoke, saying, "I just came to invite you guys to dinner."

"Rey is bringing us food," Kylo said, "but thank you."

"Okay." Finn went in his room, dropping off a few things he'd missed when he'd cleared his quarters earlier to move in here. Coming out, he said, "You don't have to stand guard here. No one's out to get you, despite what you've … done." That wasn't entirely true and Finn knew it, but what grumbling there was wasn't done in front of him very often. The acceptance of the Resistance leadership set a tone of tolerance the rest weren't likely to challenge unless they had a personal grievance. Though, of course, many did.

"Steel's right," Kylo said. "I should have felt the danger to Jo. It has been difficult to resist the desire to seek revenge and to walk away from what the dark side calls me to do. I failed her. I felt her die. I heard her killers laugh. It has left me … conflicted." Kylo swallowed, his eyes still shut. "Protection is a feature of the light side of the Force. I need to stay focused here, on the living. I need to do this."

"Oh. Okay." He wasn't sure what to say, but he added, "Keep them safe, then."

"I will."

Finn nodded and left for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not something I ever mention again, but the knights have one of them on guard every night for the rest of this story. They can combine this with meditation so the body gets some rest and they take shifts. There's a thin line between paranoia and best practice security when you're in their situation. They're very aware of the looks they get from the crew.


	8. White on Rice

Rey carried in the tote of food, finding Kylo as she'd understood him to be from the mental contact they'd kept up through the afternoon. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor and stayed there as she sat across from him, tote between them. He clipped the lightsaber to his belt and pushed it out of the way, then helped as she started unloading things.

Steel and Nera came to join them, settling on the floor just the same even though there was a table in the living area they could have used. It didn't seem necessary. They were all given to athletic, active lives and were equally comfortable on the floor. Rey handed over Nera's food as Kylo pulled his own out. Drinks were parceled out. The last boxes Rey set out between herself and Steel. "One of these is spiced vegetables with rice. The other is nerf stew with noodles or dumplings or something. I'm not sure. I'll take whichever one you don't want."

He took the stew with a "Thanks" and she split the side dishes between them, making sure he got the orange pudding he'd mentioned at lunch. Thus set, they moved the tote out of the way and dug in. Kylo and Nera had asked for an odd dinner. Actually, Kylo had asked for it and Nera had said to match it, minus the bread. He had a large bowl of plain rice, apple juice to drink, and two slices of dark bread.

Rey watched as he ate a few bites, applied salt, then ate more. Her vegetables were good. She liked the sauce. Kylo took up a piece of bread, carefully gave it a generous layer of sticky rice, put the other piece of bread on top, and began to eat it as a sandwich. "You really like bland food, don't you?" she asked with a chuckle. "I've heard of bread sandwiches as a joke, but … never that."

"This is unusual even for me," he confessed. "My stomach has been in knots for the last two weeks and with him badgering me," he sighed and gestured at Steel. "I just wanted something as plain as possible. This is good, though."

"That's kind of extreme," Steel said. "You lost weight?"

"Probably."

"Is it that light side turn?" Steel asked. "Because that shit was like losing my kriffing soul to go to the dark side. Why are you turning again? Didn't learn your lesson the first time?"

"Could you let him eat in peace?" Rey said heatedly. "You're being awful!"

Steel pulled back at her intensity, then looked between her and Kylo. "'Kay," he said in a small voice. "Sorry."

She huffed. Kylo smiled at his next bite of rice sandwich. Nera made a clicking noise that Rey interpreted as a 'tut tut' sort of thing. At least that was what she thought it was. It seemed directed more at Steel than herself.

"You are," Kylo said quietly to Steel, "a little much for me to handle right now. Some of your questions … I don't even have the answers for myself. I'll tell you what I can after we're done eating."

"You don't have to eat with me, you know," Steel said.

Kylo shook his head rapidly. "No. I don't want to be parted. Not now. Not yet."

"Okay," Steel said with a sigh. "I understand. I don't want you going anywhere, either. It was nice to wake up earlier and see that you were right there. I wasn't lying about worrying our money would go missing. What do we do if it does? And are these guys going to slit our throats or something? We're First Order bad guys to them – bad guys even by First Order standards."

"Finn was a stormtrooper," Rey said. "It's … fine, as far as I can tell. I haven't been around much to see, to be honest, but people like him despite his past."

"They like him  _because_  of his past." Steel leaned towards her. "He's a traitor to the Order. He defected in battle, risking his life to rescue your leader. If you guys don't consider him a hero, then, you know, you're stupid. We," Steel indicated himself, Kylo, and Nera, "didn't do that. We're here because no one else wants us. One of us even –" Steel looked at Kylo and obviously shifted gears on what he'd been about to say. "We're not Finn. It's not the same."

"I see their minds," Nera said. "They think this is passing temporary, lost and not happening later. To go to Downs planets and left there. Still with the First Order. Diplomats."

Rey tilted her head at the odd manner of speaking.

"What are they going to do when they find out it's permanent and we're not going anywhere?" Steel asked as though Nera's words had made complete sense.

Kylo said, "We make sure our record is spotless then, so they have no reason to hate us."

"They're going to hate us anyway," Steel said. "We're not Jedi. We're Jedi  _Killers_. They're not going to trust us."

Kylo sighed at what was left of his rice. Rey glared at Steel.

"Okay, okay, sorry." Steel shut up. They ate the rest of the meal in silence.

After their containers and utensils were stowed in the tote, Kylo turned to Steel. "Let's get your questions out of the way. What do you most want to know?"

"What's chewing you up the worst inside?" Steel said without hesitation.

Kylo frowned and rolled his eyes.

Rey said, "You can't lead with anything lighter than that?" She was really getting tired of his abrasiveness.

Kylo shook his head to Steel's question. "I don't know the answer to that anyway. Things feel unfinished with the First Order, but I can't define it. I don't know how to manage everything that's gone wrong since I killed Snoke. I don't regret it, but I don't know what to do. Hux isn't here anymore to tell me. Poe won't. You're right – we're refugees. That's on me. I fucked up. I don't understand what happened with Luke. I don't understand a lot of things."

Steel nodded, seemingly satisfied with most of that even though it didn't answer much of anything. "Can you tell me about the bond, then? With her?"

"What about it?"

"Is that what's going on with this light side/dark side thing?" Steel asked. "I'd like to know if you're going to drop over dead or combust or join the Force or whatever it is that happens when someone does things two different masters, both of whom knew their shit, told us was impossible."

"It's not impossible. I know what I feel. This feels different from everything I did with Luke or Snoke. It feels right for once."

Rey could help with this one, so she said, "I've read the ancient Jedi texts about how to channel the Force. The most straightforward way is what you're describing, Steel. It's what Luke taught, and probably Snoke, too. A person devotes themselves entirely to the Force and chooses, or has chosen for them, which side they will draw power from. Trying to tap into the other side is dangerous. It corrupts them and degrades the ability to draw on the Force at all. Someone who tries to use both regularly will find they can use neither."

She went on, "But when you draw on only one side of the Force, there will be another, somewhere, who draws on the opposite side. In a galaxy with so many beings in it, some of them Force users, the chances of finding your match is astronomically low. If there aren't very many Force users, though, then I would imagine the odds go up. If there is only a handful …" Rey glanced back and forth between the three of them. "Then it's not low."

"So you two are on opposite ends of the spectrum?" Steel asked.

"Yes," Rey said, "but when you're with your bondmate, you can balance one another. You can share power and it doesn't matter where it comes from. I know I've pulled from the dark side and it didn't effect me beyond feeling strange for a while."

"I've done the same with the light," Kylo said.

Steel nodded. "I heard what you said to Finn earlier. You're working on tapping into the light side on purpose. And that's working for you?"

"Yes," Kylo said.

"So she doesn't have to be right there with you? Like when you guys would work with Snoke and you were usually touching."

Kylo shook his head. "We've connected across the galaxy. I think it's more difficult when she's further away, but I might be biased."

Steel chuckled. Rey smiled. Steel said, "Then that's not why you're so kriffed up."

"No," Kylo said. "If anything, it's what's holding me together."

"What's blowing you apart?"

"Everything else!" Kylo raised his hands in frustration. "Everything else, Steel. Not knowing what to do about it, about all these mistakes I've made. People gone now because of my choices! Jophesta dead days ago. My mother days before that. Luke and Snoke. My father. Two million nameless, faceless fatalities at the Battle of Crait with my name on their interment papers. Do you know who mourns stormtroopers, Steel?"

His brows drew together in confusion. "Uh, no."

"No one. Their commanding officers maybe. Hux at least showed some emotion when he presented me with each day's confirmed losses so I could sign off on them. That was it – a signature, proof the supreme leader was aware of the asset loss. Dead." Kylo bared his teeth. "No one else cared and that was the most galling thing of all. The officers at least grieved their own, but even for them, it was line of duty. Expected. I am done with people dying for me!"

"You care about dead stormtroopers now?" Steel sounded surprised.

Rey was looking at Kylo with a deep respect.

"Yes, Steel," Kylo told him with a snarl, "I do. I'm not going to shut myself off again. It didn't matter before. It does now."

Steel gave Rey a long look, then back to Kylo.

"Yes," Kylo said. "Since I met her. That's who I want to be. Not Snoke's rabid cur or Luke's dunce! I am more than that."

"Okay," Steel said, nodding. "You understand, right, that while you're over there with all this light side dilly-dallying … I'm not?" He gestured at Rey. "And if what she read is right, I can't join you over there without making a complete switch. That's  _hard_."

Kylo shook his head. "I'm not asking you to do that. I'm not suggesting it. In fact, I don't even want you to. I have not renounced the dark side. Your abilities and mine are not the same. They never have been." They were still sitting on the floor, but Kylo turned and put a hand on Steel's shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "I love you no differently for that. What side you're on doesn't matter."

"Okay," Steel said quietly, looking effected by Kylo's sincerity. "Okay, then."

Kylo released him and leaned back. "Do you have other questions?"

"What happened with Caspire and Tark?" Steel asked of the two absent Knights of Ren.

"Caspire said she was going to the monastery we'd visited on Dagobah, to see if she could join them. Tark said he'd stay with her until she was settled. Then he'd move on, maybe work as a bounty hunter or a mercenary. If he could find a good place, then as house security for someone with money and power."

Steel nodded. "Okay. Then they're safe?"

"They should be," Kylo said. "I would have done something if I thought they weren't. Rey and I will check on them later. I wish they were here, but this was not their choice. They haven't left us, the knights. They just chose to go elsewhere, as you said."

Steel nodded. "Tonza?" She was the last Knight of Ren unaccounted for and now that Jophesta had died, the youngest.

Kylo shook his head. "It is as I already told you. Rey and I reached out to her as we did to each of the rest of you. I found her. I could see she was well. I know she heard me. I explained things to her. She gave me no response. A few moments after I stopped speaking, she cut the connection. I did not try again. I may in a few days, to make sure she's fine. Perhaps I'll have an idea of where she's headed by then. Right now, I don't know. She was in hyperspace when I saw her." Kylo waited a beat as Steel thought. "Anything else?" Kylo asked.

"Eh, maybe," Steel said, "I'll ask later, as things occur to me. It helps to know you don't have the answers either, at least for some of this stuff."

Kylo nodded. "There are also things I don't want to discuss in front of anyone not currently in this room, so even when I know, I might not wish to say, or may only say mentally to you. Please be more aware of the audience when you ask me things."

Steel nodded and scooted back so he was leaned against his bed.

Kylo looked at Nera. "I know it's not your way to speak for yourself. What would you know of me?"

"How did he die?" The question was simple and given emotionlessly. Rey didn't think it was either.

Kylo exhaled. "Quickly. He had brought Rey before me and told me to kill her. He had my grandfather's lightsaber next to him on the arm of the throne. As I raised my hilt, I turned both it and my weapon, then ignited only the one next to him. I drew it through his body. He … he died." Kylo exhaled again, this time with a shudder. He touched his left eye, which was twitching.

"What happened to the him, his him?"

"I ordered the body incinerated," he explained, "although it came up a few days later that Hux had it put into storage pending an official investigation. He promised me it would be incinerated eventually, but that the legal process forbade him from destroying evidence prematurely. I think he would have seen to it immediately if I had pressed it, but I did not. I don't know what happened to it. Or to Jophesta, for that matter. I asked Fuseb to do a search of Snoke's documents for a will or something similar. He didn't find anything. I took his ring and had the rest of Snoke's personal effects put in storage."

"That is all I need know," Nera said. "The rest will be revealed."

"Do you have anything of Luke's?" Steel asked.

"What do you mean?" Kylo said.

"Darth Vader's helmet, Snoke's ring, Sidious's statue of that guy. You've got quite the collection going on," Steel chuckled. "Wait a second, where did the statue go? That thing was too big to fit in a crate."

"Hux has it. I asked him to keep it for me."

"You think he will? I bet there's someone on Kuat who would give him a kriffing star destroyer for that thing If they knew where it was from."

Kylo chuckled as well. "Yes, which is exactly why he will keep it. Getting it back from him might be a different matter, but at least I'll know where it is."

"Anyway," Steel asked, "got anything of Luke's?"

Kylo shook his head. "Bad memories? No. But I know where he died. At some point, I hope to go there. If he found what he was looking for, there's an ancient temple there I want to see."

"He did," Rey said. "I've seen it. I'll go with you when you do. There are caretakers there who are … easily upset."

Kylo nodded. "That's an adventure for another day, though, when I'm settled enough to make a proper observance for him. If I ever am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo probably has a much more extensive collection of Sith artifacts than that, depending on who ended up with all of Snoke's stuff. For now, that's Hux, because Kylo doesn't have anywhere to put it. The number of ridiculously valuable Force-related artifacts that Hux has ended up being the custodian of is something I find deeply amusing.
> 
> Rey, theoretically, is the owner of Luke's collection of Jedi stuff. Assuming Kylo can pry Snoke's things out of Hux's grasp, then Rey and Kylo could open quite the museum with all this stuff.


	9. Giggles

Finn returned with Rose, later that night, with a deck of cards. But all three doors were shut now. It was quiet.

"I guess it's just us," Rose said. She didn't sound disappointed.

"Yeah, guess so. Uh, I don't know any two-player versions of sabacc." There were many variants of the game that didn't require an actual sabacc table. To Finn's surprise, Rose had told him that the ones played in the First Order and the Resistance militaries were basically the same. "We always had a bigger group for it in the barracks."

"Do you know single-suit?" she asked.

"No, what's that?"

"I'll show you. My sister and I used to play together." They went in his room where Rose sat on one end of his bed with Finn on the other. They put the deck of cards between them and Rose went through the rules. When she was done and Finn was shuffling the deck, she asked, "Can you tell me about the people in your unit?"

"The ones I was closest to …" Finn fell quiet. He looked at the cards he'd been dealt and sorted them in his hand. "I've tried not to think about them. I talked about Slip at lunch. Then there was Nines and Zeroes – FN-2199 and FN-2000. The four of us came up together through subadult training, on Lanson Down when I was planetside. There were other people in my squad, but I didn't grow up with them."

"FN – like Finn? All stormtroopers are named Finn?"

"Huh?" He looked at her blankly, then realized. "No, no. Poe asked if he could call me that when I told him my number – FN-2187. I liked it. So, yeah. FN just stands for Footsoldier Number. There are different designations, like for walker crews or snowtroopers. Foot soldiers are trained for ground deployment against … well, anything. We weren't specialized like the others, which meant they shipped us all over for training doing a little bit of everything."

"I thought you were in sanitation. You said you'd swabbed the decks of the  _Supremacy_."

"Yeah. They don't have slaves on the First Order ships, so all the menial stuff is assigned to troopers. We weren't veterans, so," he shrugged, "we got the gross jobs. You know, once training is over, you get the exciting life of a real stormtrooper." He grinned. "Mop in hand. Scrubbing out refreshers with a hand-brush."

"That sounds so glamorous," she laughed. "Training to do anything, anywhere, anytime, and ending up cleaning toilets."

He laughed with her. "It's funny, but I liked it. It was easy work, plus I felt proud of making stuff clean and shiny." He thought for a moment. "I got to go into officer's quarters, restricted areas, everywhere! I never saw Snoke's personal chambers, but I saw the throne room." He shook his head. "Almost no one outside of top brass gets to see that."

"Did you see him?"

"No, he wasn't in there when the cleaning crew was. But a couple of the guards always were – all in red, keeping an eye on us." He leaned in. "They didn't leave us alone in there. What if we'd … done something?" He chuckled.

"Like sabotaged something?"

"Huh?" Finn shook his head. "No, no. Ha. No, I meant what if we'd screwed something up, or did something that looked disrespectful, that sort of thing. Back then, I wouldn't have dreamed of doing anything against the Order intentionally."

"Oh. Was there anyone who didn't like the Order, who was in it?"

Finn shrugged. "Not that I know of. Anyone who did got sent to reprogramming. Some of the older troopers talked about the officers … the top brass … having different ideas on what the Order should do. Some of them were from before Snoke, back when there were grand admirals leading the High Command and not a supreme leader. They didn't talk about it very loudly. All whispers. It wasn't healthy to talk about 'before Snoke'. Better to just keep your head down and do your job."

"Ah," Rose nodded. "What about your friends – Nines and Zeroes? You said they didn't make it."

Finn sighed. "Han Solo killed Nines on Takodana. Nines was trying to kill me because I was a traitor."

She swallowed. "I'm so sorry. I … thought it … I didn't know it happened like that."

Finn tried to smile, but failed. "It's … okay. I don't know what happened to Zeroes. I hope he's alright. I doubt it," he said morosely, "but he might be. He would have been there on Takodana, too, unless they broke my unit up after I left. They probably did something, an investigation, maybe reprogramming for anyone who was close to me. I don't know."

"That sounds awful. I still think you did the right thing, to leave. It's not your fault – what they did after."

Finn nodded glumly.

"Can I try to cheer you up?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, I have a joke. It's a 'knock, knock' joke. You know 'knock, knock' jokes?"

"Uh … yeah."

"Knock, Knock."

"Who's there?" Finn answered as he was supposed to.

"Luke."

"Luke who?"

"Luke out!" she said. "Here comes another 'knock knock' joke!" He chuckled. She followed immediately with, "Knock, Knock."

Finn was smiling now. "Okay, who's there?"

"BB-8."

"BB-8 who?"

"BB-8 nobody, I hope! That would be gross!"

Now Finn was laughing. "Have you told that one to Poe?" She shook her head. "I'm going to!" he promised.

"Okay, here's another one. What's the name of Darth Vader's sister?"

"He had a sister?"

Rose chuckled. "It's a joke, silly."

"Oh, um, I don't know."

"Elle Vader. Get it? Elevator?"

Finn laughed. "Oh wow, hey, I've got one: Why do pilots never play sabacc? Uh, First Order pilots?"

"I don't know. Why?" she asked.

"Because they always TIE."

She chortled at that one. "Okay, how's this: Which side of a Wookiee has the most hair?"

"Like Chewbacca? Uh … the top? I don't know."

"The outside!"

They both fell to laughing. The jokes became more ribald and crude as they went on, until they were whispering the dirtiest ones they knew to one another and struggling to stifle their laughter. The card game was forgotten – he never did learn to play single-suit. They ended lying next to each other, Rose's arm slung around Finn's midsection, both stomachs and cheeks pleasantly sore from laughing and smiling.

"I'm so happy here," Finn said to her.

She moved up, looking down her nose at him. "I could make you happier."

"I don't know how you could possibly do that," he said as a challenge.

She leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He stared at her, eyes wide, just like he had on Crait. She waited. He kept staring. Then he said, "That's cool."

"What?" she said, not quite sure what he meant. She'd been expecting more of a reaction. She was snuggled into his arms in his quarters after laughing and enjoying themselves, she was offering him more and kissing him. But … he wasn't reciprocating.

"That's so cool," he said, nodding to himself now. He tightened his grip around her waist with his other arm. His eyes watered. "I have such great friends here. Thank you." His voice cracked a little with how grateful he was.

Rose blinked and settled back. She couldn't tell if she'd used the wrong words, done the wrong things, or missed some signal of his. Or maybe she'd misread the situation altogether. Maybe she wasn't his type. "You're welcome," she said after a few moments. "I'm glad you're here, with us." She decided to try again. "You know, what I meant was that we might … sleep …?" She couldn't quite end the sentence, too worried that he wasn't interested in her and she was embarrassing herself by being this bold. She blushed furiously.

"Oh! Yeah." He let go of her immediately. "I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's late. You gotta go. Cuz, work tomorrow and stuff." He started gathering up the cards.

"Actually, I'm off shift tomorrow." She didn't move when he sat up, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Okay. Then you want to come over in the morning? I don't want to be alone with these guys. Rey's nice, but I'd like to have you there, too." He had the cards together now.

Rose decided that was that, then. She sat up and sighed. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." She looked at him steadily, then at his lips. He froze in place. Slowly, she leaned in and gave him another small, sweet kiss. He smiled slowly, warmly, and goofily. "Good night," she told him when he didn't seem to change his mind about letting her leave.  _Three strikes, you're out_ , she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my jokes. I found them by Googling 'Star Wars jokes'.


	10. Morning Sex and Neighbors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit. No warnings apply.

Rey woke to the feeling of Kylo's lips soft on her shoulder. He'd pushed up the short sleeve of her shift and was adoring her skin with his mouth, one square inch at a time. She could feel his desire, his love, and his devotion. He was consumed with her. He rolled his eyes up to look at her as he continued, baring his teeth slightly and trapping her skin between his teeth. She wasn't afraid. Instead, she smiled lazily and brought a hand up to curl it into his thick, dark hair. She made a fist. He made a growl. He didn't let go and neither did she. It felt like a dream.

She sighed and must have dozed off again, because the next thing she knew, he was kissing the underside of her chin, his nose bumping along her jawline. She smiled and squirmed slowly, releasing his hair and stretching. This time, she truly woke.

They'd made love three times before in their short history of being together. The first time had been quick. The second awkward. The third had been wonderful, finally finding their stride between them. And this time would be four. She didn't know why she counted. Maybe it was similar to those hash marks on the wall of her AT-AT home on Jakku, every time erasing a day of loneliness.

These joinings were important to her, the times he took her into his arms and they shared one another's bodies. The way he made her feel, like she was his empress or a goddess, never taking his eyes off her. The way he lost himself in her that third time, so fearlessly and fully, willing to weld their minds as thoroughly as their bodies. She was loved and adored by him.

His hand covered her breast, kneading it through the fabric of her shift. She turned towards him and pulled at his sleeping garment – a thin, flowing thing that was something like a long tunic. He lifted himself in stages so she could get it off. Then she removed her own. Skin to skin now, he returned to her then. He laid next to her, kissing her face and caressing her body. She plunged her hands into his hair and wrapped a leg around his hip.

She rocked against him slowly, wriggling her other leg under him until he rolled on top of her with a smirk at her impatience. He kissed her mouth and she opened, tasting him with a moan. She didn't dare get louder. The walls on the quarters of the  _Restitution_  weren't soundproof. They'd heard Rose giggling with Finn the night before, doing whatever it was they were doing in their quarters, so she knew sound carried. But it was hard to stay quiet. Even breathing seemed to reverberate noisily in the small room.

She wrapped her arms around him. Her legs, too, for a playful moment as she arched against him. He was all muscle. She certainly admired his strength in all the ways it showed. Even in the violence of the day before, out in the hangar bay, she'd seen control. Finesse. Care. That explosive rage had run all through her, her feeling an echo of it in her soul, but she'd also known he was paying attention the whole while. Just as he had in Snoke's throne room. She'd felt his awareness of her – sometimes more, sometimes less – but he knew her. He tracked her. He cared about her.

She wiggled her hips against him, lower down, then reached down to adjust them both. A moment later, he slid inside and her down on him. He breathed out, "Ah …" and made a purring growl in her ear. He started to move, pumping slowly at first. She wasn't as quiet. Every thrust, no matter that they were basically gentle, left her gasping.

He pulled back so he could see her face and stare into her eyes as he devoured her every response. His mind brushed against hers and she let down all barriers. This was what had made their third time so perfect. They knew each other's wants and needs. They let the bond guide them. They allowed themselves to become one in spirit as well as flesh.

Guided by her thoughts, he pushed into her harder, his arms wrapping around her possessively exactly as she wanted them. Only with the reassurance of her mind would he pound into her as roughly as she desired. She couldn't see his face, but she knew his attention was utterly centered on her nonetheless. He held her to him as his powerful form filled her to completion.

She whimpered and made low moans, feeling the climax building in both of them. She was getting louder. She couldn't stop. He knew it and he pumped harder. Her body was lighting up inside and she knew his was as well. He panted in her ear as her legs tightened around his moving hips. A moment later, they were both there – she spasming around him and he as deep inside her as he could be. She clung to him, heart racing, breathing finally slowing.

He kissed her ear tenderly, then her cheek, then her mouth. His dark eyes were enraptured by her. She finally relaxed and he did as well, resting on his elbow and drawing up a knee so he wasn't smothering her with his size. They nuzzled and petted and she felt so good. It was exquisite. She had never felt like she belonged so much.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you, too," he answered. "I feel this resonating through us both. It's so beautiful."

She laughed softly. "I have a place in your heart." She touched his chest. "That's all I've ever wanted – someone to be with, someone who cared, who understood."

"You can be with me forever if you like," he offered. For a moment, they stared into each other's eyes. She still hadn't said yes. He didn't accuse. He wasn't even sad and she was sure because she felt his emotions. Her lips parted to say something, but then his eyes flicked towards the door as though he heard something. He rolled to his side. His tone changed from soft and dreamy to more guarded. "We'll need to get cleaned up. No built-in refresher. I don't think I noticed where we're supposed to go."

"It's on the other side of the hall." She let the moment pass and got up, picking up her shift from the floor and putting it on. She didn't even know what to say except that she trusted she'd know when the moment was right. She handed him his tunic or whatever it was called. "Do you think anyone's up?"

"I think so," he said and there was something to his voice that was so certain that it might as well have been 'yes'. He pulled his tunic on.

She opened the door to get the awkwardness over. It wasn't like no one knew they were together. Finn had told her originally that the room he'd later moved in to was hers and she'd obviously declined it. But where she'd only expected to deal with one person, maybe two, they were all there – Rose and Steel sitting on the couch with tools arranged between them and Finn on a chair drawn up in front of them. The object of their attention was the broken clasp of Steel's helmet. The door to Nera's room was open. She was inside, sitting on the bed, apparently meditating.

Rose blushed and kept her head down. Finn gave her a tight smile, which told Rey everything she needed to know. Yes, they'd heard. Her mostly, she assumed, as Kylo had been quieter than she'd been. Rey's face went scarlet, even though a part of her rebelled at the thought they'd been doing anything improper.

Steel was even less shameless than Finn or Rose. "Well, you two seem to be having a good morning!" he said cheerfully.

Kylo nodded absently, poking his head around the corner of Nera's room to check on her. Face hot, Rey went back in the sleeping area to gather the clothes they'd change into after using the refresher. Kylo turned back to her, stopping in the doorway of their sleeping chamber. "Why are you embarrassed?"

"What? They were out there!" she whispered, although she didn't know if it did any good.

"I could muffle you next time."

She glared at him, but then the glare softened. He wasn't being sarcastic or snide. It was a genuine suggestion, just as he was sincerely baffled. "No," she said. "Just go. Go." She turned back to the drawers she'd put their things in the day before. He left.

But Kylo only went as far as the door to the corridor, where he stopped and looked uncertain.

Steel leaned back, looking up at him, and asked, "What happened on Naboo?"

Kylo looked down to him. "Treaty negotiations." Steel gave him a look like that wasn't the answer he was looking for. Kylo tried again. "My mother's funeral?"

"Was there a wedding I wasn't invited to?" Steel said bluntly.

Kylo grimaced. "There was no wedding on Naboo."

"On the  _Finalizer_ , then?"

"No."

"Why not?" Steel asked. "She seems nice. All it takes is a signature from a captain, or so I've heard, right?"

Kylo frowned at him. "Do you remember what you told General Dameron yesterday?"

Steel thought for a moment, then made an 'ah-hah!' face. "Mind your own kriffing business!" he said, pleased to have found the answer.

"Yes," Kylo said.

Steel nodded, smiled, made a mock salute, and said sarcastically, "As you command, Lord Ren sir!" Then he turned his attention back to the helmet and minded his own business.

Rey came out of the bedroom and looked at Kylo standing next to the door. "Why are you still here?"

"You didn't say how far to go."

Rey sighed in exasperation. He was so earnestly awkward at times and so ridiculously suave the rest. She knew which one was the act, and it wasn't the awkward one. "To the refresher," she said patiently.


	11. No Clues

After Rey and Kylo left, Rose said, "We should have left when they started."

"Why?" Steel asked.

She blinked at him. "Because? They didn't want us out here listening?"

"I heard you two last night," Steel said. He shared a wall with Finn's room.

"But," Rose said, "we were just telling each other jokes."

Steel shrugged. "How do I know what you two were doing? How do we know what they were doing?" He waved at Kylo and Rey's room. "What if he was just rubbing her feet or something?"

Rose snorted and laughed. She couldn't tell if he was putting her on or was serious. "He was not just rubbing her feet!" Steel shrugged again. Finn had a blank look on his face as he actuated the repaired clasps on the helmet he was holding. Rose looked back and forth between them, then said, "Don't they do things in the First Order?"

"You mean sex things?" Steel asked.

"Yes."

He looked at Finn. "What are you looking at me for?" Finn asked.

"You're more First Order than I am," Steel said. "I was off with Snoke's folks."

"Um, well," Finn said, looking to Rose, "stormtroopers don't do that."

She blinked. "At all?"

"No."

She looked at Steel. He said, "We had Snoke in our heads, telepathically, a lot. When you have someone like that taking an interest in any urges you might have, you quit having urges pretty soon. Or else you get weird."

"What do you mean by 'get weird'?" Rose asked.

"Uh … Nah, I don't want to explain that," Steel said. "But no, we didn't do sex. Tark and Caspire claimed they did on missions, but I think Tark was lying. And obviously Kylo, with his foot-rubbing or whatever." Steel waved in the direction of Kylo and Rey's room.

"That wasn't foot-rubbing," Rose insisted, having realized that neither of the two she was sitting with had a clue.

"I know," Steel said, finally relenting somewhat. "I've seen educational videos. I'm not ignorant. Or at least, not  _that_  ignorant."

She looked at him dubiously. Okay, maybe he had one clue. Then she glanced at Finn. "Have you … seen videos?"

"Of what?"

"Oh." She colored and smiled, looking down at their various tools spread on the couch. She started to gather them up, since they'd finished fixing the helmet. She muttered to herself, "No clues. Right. That explains a lot. I guess I'll get some." She mentally revised the events of the previous night in light of this new information.


	12. Backstory

Poe put the data card into the viewer, then turned to Lieutenant Connix and Captain D'Acy. "I didn't learn as much as I should have from General Organa and Admiral Holdo, but I thought it would be best for us to control the flow of information a little better than my first impulse. I was going to go over this with everyone. Then I thought, no, we have a few days here. Let's look at this ourselves. I trust Rey and Finn and those other guys a little bit, but, uh, they're kind of volatile and that's coming from me."

"I've heard," Lt Connix said. "I've also heard … that the First Order would have never simply let Kylo Ren and the knights leave if they had turned against the Order. Just like they set out bounties on Finn … Kylo would be a traitor if he was to leave the Order and the Order knew he was coming directly to us."

Poe looked at her, his expression unchanging.

She went on. "Are they … still … working for the First Order?"

Poe rubbed his thumb along his forehead. "This is a humanitarian mission. To First Order worlds. Hux is in charge of the Order now and obviously he knows exactly where Kylo Ren is. He told me once Kylo is no friend of the Resistance. But," Poe paused for a moment, "I want to make peace out of this. Hard as it is to believe, that's what the First Order wants, too. Even if he's an agent of them, we're working towards the same thing."

He could tell from the way she looked at him that she had misgivings. Poe didn't know what to do about that. Kaydel Ko Connix had sided with him during the disastrous mutiny that had led to the deaths of more than three-quarters of the surviving Resistance. It had shaken their faith in him and even Leia's deathbed promotion of him, or him getting them off Naboo safely with a First Order armada overhead, hadn't restored it.

Sometimes he wondered if the lukewarm reception the Resistance had these days was due to his presence as the leader. It seemed more likely it was a reflection of the continuing uncertainty after the First Order victory and possible new government. He reminded himself that even Leia's personal code hadn't brought many around on and after Crait. But it still felt like it was him.

"I appreciate your concerns," he said, thinking about how Holdo's treatment of him had set him off on the wrong path. "That's why we're meeting now. Just us. I trust you guys more than them. You're proven yourselves more often than anyone should have to. Let's see what Hux thought was important enough to send an update."

Poe activated the data card. Much of the information that scrolled up were things they'd already seen, but it was summarized a bit better than before:

* * *

_The remnants of the Empire came to the district of space called the Unknown Regions in force about thirty years ago. It was mostly uninhabited by sentient beings at that point, or at least the 20-30 particular planets the Imperial remnants claimed were. A dozen of them were rich enough in resources to eventually become 'core' worlds, more developed, settled, and industrialized than the rest. Seven core worlds are in insurrection. Five are in at state of orderly peace under the High Command._

* * *

"Where did they get all the equipment and the people? Captain D'Acy asked. "Mining, extraction, droids? It had to come from somewhere."

Lt. Connix answered, "General Leia formed the Resistance because she'd discovered the activity – such large-scale purchases of material weren't … unnoticed. The Senate refused to act on it. Some, obviously imperial or First Order sympathizers, claimed they were legitimate purchases that the New Republic Senate had no right to interfere in. The records Leia found showed it had been going on for decades. At least the thirty years this data card indicates. Maybe longer, all the way back to Emperor Palpatine."

Cpt. D'Acy frowned. "I don't understand how this could have happened."

"The Senate was on Hosnian Prime," Connix said. "Most of the records are gone. But the people they were buying from are right here in the New Republic. They were being paid and at least at that point, the First Order wasn't hurting them. I'm sure the ones who are left feel differently now, but it's too late."

Poe nodded. "That's where the slaves are coming from, too – our planets, the New Republic worlds. Even the stormtroopers. All of them. Elements of the New Republic bought and paid for the First Order. The First Order is  _us_ , in a way."

* * *

_The First Order has two planets in their core worlds set up for raising acquired children to a useful age. These are Lanson Down and Epel Down, also called the Downs, a downworld, or a downplanet. They are a binary planetary system in orbit around a single star. Children get primary education up to twelve years of age, at which point they're given proficiency tests. Children are sorted into three groups based on test scores: highest scores are trooper cadets, middle scores are workers, lowest scores are slaves._

_Trooper cadets go into military training. They get rotated through ships and different planets, as well as further operations, simulations, and classes in military academies on the Downs. When they graduate after four to six years, they are full stormtroopers (or other categories) and go on to their active military assignment. The best of them might eventually be promoted out of troop and into the officer cadre._

_Workers get two years of training at a technical school before they attempt to qualify for the job they want. Then they're shipped off to the job site, which is one of the factory-type First Order core worlds. There, they work for a living for the rest of their lives, drawing a small wage they can use for various amenities or privileges. They have medical care, limited rights, some legal protection, and can be promoted into technicians and supervisory positions._

_Slaves score the lowest or have received so many demerits for poor behavior that no high score will save them from slavery. Their status is typically life-long. They are employed in any job that needs brute labor and has close supervision. Slaves are never used in a military capacity or in serve in any way on military ships. First Order petty criminals are usually sentenced to slavery of varying terms. Slaves often have dangerous jobs, poor or no health care, and no access to a justice system. They make up less than ten percent of the graduates. They don't train slaves beyond primary education, so they are sent to work at age twelve._

_Some two-thirds of the population of the Downs is under age twelve. Another ten percent is made up of troop cadets as they rotate through military academy and training assignments, a matching ten percent is workers age twelve to fourteen in technical school, and the last fifteen percent are adults, usually workers (teachers, cooks, doctors, counselors, support staff, administration, etc.)_

_The Downs population is five to seven million with more on Epel than Lanson. Ninety-five percent are human. The remaining five percent are near-human._

_There was one planetary governor who covered both planets, Governor Cridan. He accepted the legitimacy of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Four hours after he made public declaration of this, he was assassinated by members of his cabinet who reportedly confronted him and demanded he recant and switch his allegiance to the High Command. He refused and was either executed for treason or assassinated by insurgents, depending on one's point of view._

_A group of trooper cadets believed to have been personally loyal to Cridan stormed the governor's estate and reportedly killed all complicit members of the cabinet. They did not follow this purge with any pledge of loyalty to one or the other faction. Instead, they announced the cabinet had been executed for committing high treason and that any who did not respect the rule of law would see a similar fate. Then they left the governor's estate and dispersed. Their identities remain unknown._

_The next echelon down in the chain of command are thirty deans of military academies for troopers, thirty deans of advanced trade schools for workers, and forty deans of the primary schools (schools for children under age twelve). Initially, some were neutral. Some declared their loyalty to the High Command. Some declared for the Supreme Leader and/or General/Grand Marshal Hux as an individual. But within days, open warfare broke out, mainly between the military academies, as attempts were made to kill all traitors and force unity at the end of a blaster._

_The current situation is that some eighty percent of the population have declared their loyalty to Traitor Finn._

* * *

"Wait, what?" Poe looked around the table to make sure he'd just read that right. "Finn?" D'Acy and Connix gave him the same bemused expression. He went back to reading.

* * *

_Stormtrooper FN-2187 ('Finn') was an undetected Force user noticed by Luke Skywalker's apprentice, Rey, while on a mission on Jakku. He rescued the future leader of the Resistance, Poe Dameron, and defected from his unit to leave Jakku in Rey's company. He fought off First Order soldiers on Takodana using his lightsaber and prevented Kylo Ren from acquiring the map to Luke Skywalker. He later rescued Rey from Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base and was instrumental in damaging it. When he completed his Jedi training under Luke Skywalker, Rey fell in love with him. In the Battle of Crait, he infiltrated the Supremacy and disabled it. This allowed Luke Skywalker's other apprentice, Rey, to assassinate Snoke and for the Resistance to assault the fleet to devastating effect. He then fought the First Order to a draw on Crait, earning the personal respect of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren._

_He is part of the Resistance leadership and represented them in negotiations on Naboo. He has declared it his personal mission to see that all stormtroopers are free to pursue a better life in the First Order. He will be returning soon accompanied by the supreme leader to unite all factions and restore order._

* * *

"What?" Poe said again. "Do they believe this? I can't tell if they believe this or not."

D'Acy said, "What happened between the deans being neutral and mixed and suddenly eighty percent are united behind … Finn?"

Poe scrolled back up. "I don't know. There's nothing there. Just one paragraph to the next."

* * *

_Traitors have compiled a list of ten demands they have communicated to the High Command:_

  * _Elimination of Command Loyalists (a) and Sith Supremacists (b)_
  * _Personal names_
  * _Disclosure of all available information relating to trooper origin_
  * _Replace reprogramming with career counseling or the right to discharge_
  * _Reproductive rights, family rights_
  * _Access to recourses against abuse that are normally restricted to officers_
  * _Higher value to trooper life_
  * _End to slave harvesting_
  * _Free and accurate press_
  * _Membership in the Republic_



_a) Command Loyalists are those deans and individuals who remain firm in their loyalty to the High Command as the legitimate authority of the First Order. A dozen schools adhere to this. Those loyal to Hux were originally allied with those loyal to Kylo Ren, but current information puts them as Command Loyalists._

_b) Sith Supremacists are those who believe the Sith (as represented by Kylo Ren or another) are the legitimate authority of the First Order. Less than ten schools hold this belief._

_As of the date of this report, the Traitors have not yet elected or otherwise agreed upon leadership or authorized representatives to discuss their demands._

* * *

"Free and accurate press," Connix pointed out. "Maybe they know this is a lie."

Poe tilted his head. "Some of it is kind of true. I mean, they're actually surprisingly accurate on where he was and what he was doing. What I can't figure out is how they know any of that stuff. How good is the First Order communication system? Wouldn't they be jamming these guys?"

Connix shook her head. "They have planetary communications setups. The First Order couldn't jam us once we were on Crait. They wouldn't be able to do it to these people, either. They can probably talk to … just about anyone they want."

Poe scrolled down, but it just went to the next section about Jendry Farmworld, the agricultural planet mostly operated by droids and a mix of workers and slaves. The slaves had revolted, killed many of the higher ranked workers, and fled into the fields and hinterlands. The bases were largely deserted, a ghost town for the most part now, with equipment sabotaged and crops that would soon be rotting in the fields. They were food supplies that other worlds, like the kids on the Downs, were going to need. The First Order had other agricultural planets, but not so many that they could afford to lose one without everyone having to tighten their belts.

The section after that covered the various 'Works' planets, the factory worlds. There were five of them – Kanstonl, Debshell, Ristor, and Krevens. Krevens Harborworks was mostly orbital platforms rather than planetary bases. The rest were dome factories on planets ravaged by mining and resource stripping, leaving hostile environments. It meant the slave population, concentrated in the modular bases, were able to go rogue and refuse cooperation or compliance, pending satisfaction of their own list of demands. These generally boiled down to:

  * Freedom (manumission)
  * Wages
  * Protection from First Order exploitation and abuse
  * Family/reproductive rights
  * Affordable access to travel off-world



Like the Downs, different dome factories were loyal to different factions. There was no mention at all here of 'Finn'. Instead, there were projections of food and supplies, along with estimated dates for starvation or other environmental factors that would force surrender.

"Okay, that's it then," Poe said. "Looks like all this other information is stuff we already had – base layouts, numbers, projections. It's the Finn stuff that's new. We'll go over that with the others."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I worked up all this cool information - names, climates, land forms, dominant life forms, First Order population, primary products, current political status, etc. for the First Order core worlds ... and then the entire story takes place on the Restitution or on Lanson Down. Like, one planet. Ha.
> 
> I tried to keep the backstory here to what would come up in later chapters.


	13. Sparring

"How often did you guys train like this?" Rose asked, leaning on the opposite side of the cargo crate that Steel was using.

"All the time," he said, tossing another washer at the long bolt he'd set up in the middle. It hit, almost knocking the bolt over, then both stabilized, but the washer had missed. He grunted. The washer leapt across the surface back to his hand. "Except when we were on missions. Which was, I dunno, a third of the time or so? Maybe half. But the rest of the time, this was all we did. Practice, practice, practice."

She watched as he repeated the throw several times. "Did it ever get boring?"

"Not really," Steel said. "It's not always the same thing." Rey yelled in frustration from behind them, a loud whack having preceded the noise from her. Rose and Steel both looked over. Kylo was twirling his 'sword', which was really a thick-walled flexi-pipe Rose had found for them. Rey had similar. With a few wraps of tape around one end, they were mock swords. Rey shook one hand like it pained her. Then she centered herself and went back into a fighting stance. Kylo set himself in front of her.

Steel went back to tossing washers. "We'd work out a few hours, fight an hour or two, go hit the simulations or whatever training pod we needed to review, and then maybe Snoke would have us do something with the Force at the end of the day, when we were tired and distracted and stuff. He had the strangest timing. We'd have to tell him what we learned that day. Sometimes he'd assign lessons. But most of us were adults about it no matter what our age was. After a few years, we knew what we were supposed to do and we did it."

"Would you-!" Rey made another frustrated noise. Steel and Rose looked over. Rey was picking herself up from the floor.

"You keep leaving yourself open," Kylo said. "You were beating me with the quarterstaff because you've used it so much. You've never had formal sword training. Why don't we do drills?"

"No," she insisted stubbornly. "I'm going to get this!"

Steel chortled. "Yeah, right," he said to himself. "If she works out advanced lightsaber usage in an afternoon, I'm going to strangle the Force myself. Using the lightsaber is like the only Force thing I can do half as well as he can, because it takes more work than talent."

Rose asked, "Does the Force help you learn things?"

"It can help with memorization, focus, understanding the point of things, 'seeing through to the heart of matters'," Steel ended with a crude attempt to mimic Snoke's voice, not that Rose recognized it. "The more of the Force you can use, the faster you learn to use it. The less," he shrugged and tossed another washer, "then the more you have to work at it. Even basic stuff." This time, the washer landed on the bolt and slid down it perfectly. A moment later, he used the same power to have it levitate upwards and return to him.

"What does it feel like?" Rose asked.

He tossed the washer to her. She caught it in her hand. "Good reflexes," he told her. "Did you think about grabbing that?" She shook her head. "Did you feel anything when you did it?" She looked down at the washer and shook her head again, thoughtful now. "That's about how it feels. The world moves around you and you sense it. Expanded consciousness. You're the world. The world is you. It's all the same cloth and your thread is connected to all the others."

She turned the washer over in her hand, then held it between thumb and forefinger to look through the middle of it at him. She grimaced. "That's not a very useful description."

"It's subconscious. A reflex. One of those things Basic doesn't have words for. Snoke's language does, though, but since there's nothing to translate them to, it wouldn't help for me to just make noises at you."

She frowned and lowered the washer. "Okay." She looked disappointed. "How would I know if I had the Force?"

"Other users can sense it. And you'll feel there's something that puts you apart from nulls. It's a feeling like you know there's another layer to reality. Sometimes you can manipulate that other layer, like a hand under a blanket." Rose raised her brows at the odd metaphor. Steel frowned and looked away. "Listen, I don't know how to explain it. Maybe if I could use it better myself, I'd know all about it and be able to say."

"How do other people explain it? This Snoke guy when he showed you how to do things? But in Basic."

Steel huffed. "Mostly you just have to feel it. It's like what I told Finn yesterday – it's either there or it's not. So all Snoke or Luke had to do was describe it and sometimes show it to someone like him," he gestured in the direction of Kylo and Rey, where they were now doing basic drill positions for swordplay, "and he knew what they meant. He could usually figure it out in a session or two, but getting good at it would take practice.

"That's what frustrated Luke so much with me," Steel said. "I just didn't get it most of the time. He'd have to go over things twenty times with me for me to just get the edges of it. But with Kylo? Once. The others? A few times. He'd stuff Kylo in the corner doing rote stuff for focus while he worked with the rest of us. Kylo hated that. We'd all razz him about it like it was the dunce chair. He'd get so worked up." Steel laughed. "It's probably why he's such an insufferable show-off."

Rose raised the washer and focused on it. She felt of it with her hands. She examined it with her eyes. She tried to sense it with her mind. Steel stood quietly and watched. When she felt like she knew the washer as well as she was going to get to know it, she flipped it towards the bolt. It missed, bounced on the top of the cargo container, and popped up into Steel's hand as he summoned it to him. He lobbed it back to her. She caught it and made a frustrated sigh. "If I miss, does that mean anything? You were missing sometimes, too."

He shrugged. "It means you missed. You might keep trying."

"Do you sense the Force in me?"

"Not really, but I'm no good with it." He walked around the crate towards her. "Hold still?" She did. He put his hands on hers and looked distant. He raised his hands to her shoulders and waited a moment. "Hang on." He put his fingertips against her temples. The distant look faded. He looked at her eyes. Then her lips. His attention lingered. Her lips parted and he stepped away immediately. "Nope, don't sense anything."

They both looked over at movement. Kylo was on the other side of the cargo container, his mock sword held out to the side. Rey was a few feet behind him. "Steel, what were you doing?" There was a warning in his voice. The angle of his sword wasn't casual.

"I was trying to sense if she had the Force," Steel answered, sizing up Kylo's body language.

Kylo gave Rose an intent look. "I asked him to," she said.

Kylo nodded slowly. He looked back at Steel, who twitched his head back at whatever mental intrusion Kylo was doing. Steel sighed. "Yeah, okay, I had a thought. So kriffing what?"

Kylo swung the sword around so it was point-first towards Steel. "If it's ever her word against yours, they're not going to believe you. Or me. Hands off."

"He wasn't doing anything!" Rose insisted, coming to his defense.

Kylo put the sword to his side. "I know. But if something does happen, how does he prove to anyone other than Force users that he didn't turn your mind? How do you prove your consent was authentic? With some of us, you wouldn't even know if it wasn't."

Rose frowned, but was stymied. Rey said, "They'll trust me. If you're talking about Poe."

"Will they? And does it matter? Hux trusted me. So did many of my officers at the end. And yet here I am." Kylo turned and stalked back out to the empty area where they'd been training. He waved the sword through the air hard enough that the flexipipe hummed. Rey followed him. Steel leaned against the cargo container and sighed. Rose leaned against it next to him, toying with the washer.

"How do you have a relationship then?" she asked finally. "Anyone who has the Force? How can you ever tell if it's true?"

"I don't know," he said glumly. "Jedi aren't supposed to have them at all, so maybe that's why."

She looked up at him. "That sounds lonely."

He nodded his head towards where Kylo and Rey had discarded their swords and were now talking, with Kylo pointing at the floor and his legs. He was doing shallow squats and leaning back and forth, demonstrating a balance/base exercise. "They found each other somehow," Steel said.

She sighed. "I think I've found someone, too."

He gave her a very long side-eye. Finally, he said, "Uh, if you mean something by that, I'd really like it if you were a little clearer, 'cause Lord Ren will have my head if I kriff things up this soon after his little speech there."

"No, no!" she said quickly, realizing what he was getting at. "Not you! I'm not so good with words sometimes. I mean … someone else. Who … maybe I should be clearer with him, too, because I don't think he knows."

"Oh. Yeah," Steel said. "Being blunt is always the way to go. Or at least it's always my way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They end up spending most afternoons on the Restitution sparring, fighting, and training in the cargo bay. Being loud, pushing each other around, using the Force on things and each other, showing Rey neat tricks, Rey showing them a few tricks, etc.
> 
> At some point towards the end of their trip, Steel invites Finn down for that fight he promised the day he showed up ... but I never got around to writing it. Just know that it happened and that serves as a backdrop of some of Finn's growing respect for them.


	14. Bad Teacher

Rey shook her head at the information Poe presented to them. Finn was still in wordless shock. She said, "This is like Starkiller Base not having been destroyed, isn't it?"

Kylo nodded with a dissatisfied look. He waved at the data. "It's in there. Notice it says the base was only damaged."

Finn managed to say, "No, we destroyed that …" He was obviously unsure why that would even be in question. "Why would it say that?" He leaned over and checked that part.

Rey turned to him. "There's a rumor in the First Order that it didn't happen and the base is just in transit to some other secret location."

"It blew up," Finn insisted. "I saw it."

"I know! I was there," she said with a laugh. "I think they're doing it for morale. Some things are subjective, true from a certain point of view." She gestured at Kylo Ren. "Like Luke being a good teacher, but others-"

"That's not subjective," Kylo interrupted. "He was a horrible teacher."

"He was difficult, but that wasn't where I was going with that," Rey tried to explain.

Kylo wasn't having it. "He tried to murder one of his students because he didn't like my take on his lessons! That's objectively bad."

"He wasn't Snoke," Rey said firmly.

Kylo sat up straighter, tensing suddenly. "You're right. He wasn't. I served Snoke for six years and in all that time, despite everything else, he never once tried to kill me!"

"No, he just had you kill your father, me, and anything else that ever mattered to you!" Rey snapped back at him. "You lived in fear!"

"Which is why he's dead!" Kylo said heatedly. "That doesn't have anything to do with Luke! There's nothing subjective about what happened between Luke and I."

Everyone else at the table was silent. Poe and Finn because they'd never seen Kylo so much as raise his voice to Rey. Steel and Nera because Kylo was ably representing their point of view. Kaydel and Rose because this was a really weird time for Rey and Kylo to have an argument about Luke Skywalker in front of everyone. They were supposed to be working on how to save lives, not making everyone else sit by while they bad-mouthed a holy martyr of the Resistance.

"Luke's story of what happened was different," Rey said.

Kylo hesitated, a trace of confusion in his features. "How?"

"He could sense the dark side in you."

Kylo leaned back. "So? It's true – the dark side. All of it. You think that's a good reason for what he did?" He whispered the question, obviously not wanting to believe she thought that.

"No, not to kill someone!" she said. "Or even to refuse to teach them, like Luke tried to do with me just because I so much as looked at the dark side. I've seen him act exactly as you have described him to me. Just as I've seen in you, what he feared."

Kylo gave her a long, intent look. "But you're not afraid of me."

"No. And maybe that's the difference."

Kylo sighed. "A teacher afraid of his students is a poor one. The opposite isn't any better. Snoke … wasn't afraid enough. There are people very angry at me for killing him. No one cares about Luke."

"Damn straight," Steel said.

Poe finally said something. "Hey, if you don't think there are a lot of people in the Resistance who are also angry about Luke dying? Then you're the one only seeing things from your point of view. He sacrificed himself for us, but you're the one who made him do it. Luke's a hero. He's a martyr. He's a big deal."

Kylo's mouth worked. He said nothing.

"He knows that," Rey said with a look of warning to Poe.

Poe shook his head, looking at Kylo with narrowed eyes now.

"What?" Kylo snapped at him for the ongoing look.

"You didn't know that," Poe said slowly, amazed. "About Luke, yeah, but not the rest of us. You haven't been reading anyone's mind here. Not anyone's on the Resistance side, or you'd have picked that up by now. You are actually surprised by that."

Kylo glared at him, but didn't deny it.

"Thank you," Poe said.

Rey expelled a deep breath. "None of that was actually my point anyway. What I was trying to get at was how coherent all this is." She gestured at the screens they'd been reviewing. "This isn't a collection of rumors. It's a story someone put together." She turned to Kylo. "Someone says Starkiller Base hasn't been destroyed because they don't want people to think the First Order is losing the war. I don't know why they'd say Finn was a Jedi insurgent, but I'm sure they're going somewhere with this."

"So, you don't think this is real?" Poe asked.

"No," Rey said. "Not exactly. It's real in that I suspect this is the story that's been given to the people on the Downs through whatever communication channels the First Order still has with them. It has united them. Someone wants that to happen."

"It's what I wanted to happen," Kylo said distantly. He had an expression like he'd just realized something. "I told them to do what they could to arrange a single leadership so I could turn them using the Force."

"Then there we have it," Rey said.

"But why me?" Finn asked.

Kylo shook his head. "I wasn't involved in the details. I doubt even Hux was, because I know where his time was spent and it wasn't on this. It was delegated. Birnham, maybe. She'd know, at least. She was espionage."

Poe's brows drew together. "Eddiva?" Kylo nodded. "I thought she was … interplanetary diplomacy and trade. Stuff like that."

Kylo smiled at him. "That's charmingly naïve. Do you really think the First Order has a department titled 'Spies and Secret Agents'?"

"Dammit," Poe said. "What the hell was Brumos, then?"

Kylo said, "Those muscles weren't for show." Steel snorted.

"Dammit," Poe said again in annoyance. "What was he? A bodyguard?"

"I had no need of one," Kylo said. "Snoke had his own."

"A torturer? Interrogation squad? What?" Poe asked.

"Why do you care?" Kylo asked.

"Because I got played," Poe said. "I don't want it to happen again. I thought you might at least tell me."

Kylo blinked at him. "No. I'm not on your side. I volunteered to be a pilot. You did not accept my oath."

"We don't take oaths," Poe said, wondering why this subject kept coming up.

Rey said, "Let's get back to something productive here. Maybe they chose your story, Finn, because they knew it would work."

Poe shrugged, giving up on getting information out of Kylo. "She's right. It's heroic. You toss in all this other stuff – Jedi master, an overlooked Force user, romance, personal hatred and then respect of Kylo Ren himself – I mean, that's got to be hitting on all cylinders for what people upset at the First Order would want to hear. You have a good story to start with, but with this stuff, you're a legend."

"'The Finn'," Finn said, glancing over at Rose.

Rose shrugged. "I like the Resistance version better. You're not dating Rey in it."

"We should be able to turn this to our benefit," Rey said, "since we're showing up with Finn."

"Uh, wait a second," Finn said. "I didn't sign up to be the face of the Resistance. What are you talking about, crowds? Talking?"

Rey gave him a mischievous smile. "But Finn, you're such a big deal in the Resistance!"

"Ah!" He groaned theatrically at the inside joke. "This is karma," he insisted. "Karma. The Force. Something in the universe is getting back at me for saying that."

"But, uh," Poe looked over at Kylo, "what would've had been the next step if you'd still been supreme leader? Do you just meet with the head honchos and mind-whack all of them?"

"More-or-less. Now that I remember asking for this … the next step would be as they say, for the supreme leader to show up with a version of Finn by my side. It could be anyone, really." Kylo gestured at Steel, who had the same skin tone, hair, and height as Finn. If he was broader, it was unlikely anyone would notice. The facial features were different, but if one only knew Finn from grainy, low-res holos, then even Steel might pass.

"I would only have to mind trick a few deans or teachers who might remember Finn as a cadet. And any other doubters. The rest, if they are fervent in their support of the traitor, will believe him when he pledges a better life for them. Once they put aside their weapons and start showing up to class again, the issues are solved."

Kylo made a dismissive gesture. "We shouldn't forget this information is a few days old and it will be more than a week before we're on the ground. Things will have changed. We're seeing a mid-game situation. I'm not sure how my abdication will effect things."

"How will it effect things at all?" Poe asked. "They won't know."

"They'll know tomorrow."

"No, how?" Poe asked insistently.

"Oh, yeah, no," Steel said, clicking to what Poe was getting at. Kylo looked at him. Steel shrugged. "He's talking about the transit time. Assuming you care?"

"Oh." Kylo said, "I care." He looked thoughtful.

"Care about what?" Poe asked.

Kylo shook his head. "I've said too much already. What matters is that they'll know. They will have information sooner than we will arrive."

Poe sighed. "That's my question. If a ship had left the moment you abdicated, then it would get there no more than half a day ahead of us. You're implying they're going to know a week faster. How does that happen? Does the First Order have, like, faster-than-hyperspace communications?"

Kylo shook his head again. "I'm not going to answer you."

Poe looked at Steel, who gave him a false smile and refused to spill the beans. Poe leaned forward at Kylo. "You gave us everything we needed to know to sabotage the First Order. We're not doing it. We're helping them instead. What gives? Kylo? Come on, buddy."

Finn said, "Have Rey ask him."

"No," said both Rey and Poe simultaneously.

"What difference does that make?" Steel put in.

"None," Kylo told him. "I'll explain later." Steel nodded and gave Rey a wary look.

"This is between me and Kylo," Poe said.

Kylo exhaled sharply. "I was authorized to give you whatever information I wanted when I was the supreme leader. Now I am not. What Rey asks me now doesn't matter. It's not mine to provide."

"You're not part of the First Order anymore, either," Finn said. "You left."

"On good terms," Kylo growled. "Unlike you."

"Hey," Poe said, looking between Kylo and Finn. "This isn't something to get angry about. Not for any of us. Okay?"

Kylo sighed. "I killed Snoke. It tore apart more lives than theirs," Kylo said with a jerk of his head towards Steel and Nera. "I do not know what the solution is for these worlds, but I am still trying to find one whether I am the supreme leader or not. I am certainly not here to provide you with intelligence on the First Order."

Kylo leaned forward towards Poe, copying his body language from earlier. "If you want to make this between you and I, and call me names you haven't earned, then trust me when I say the 'how' is irrelevant to your current mission, if it is truly humanitarian as you say.

"All that matters is that the core worlds will know of my abdication tomorrow and we'll be there next week. Anything more than that is you trying to advance the military objectives of the Resistance at the expense of the Order, because you don't want to be 'played'. I won't take sides in your war. The war's over."

Poe pressed his lips together and leaned back, eyes hooded as he regarded Kylo. He glanced over at Steel and Nera. If he had to judge, he would say they were both in support of Kylo. "You're not just here with us for Rey's sake, or because she asked you to," Poe said.

Kaydel coughed. Poe glanced at her, but she didn't say anything.

"He's here for the same reason that I am" Rey said, not just to support Kylo, but also to make it clear to Poe that she, too, wasn't interested in taking sides. "To save lives. To make things right."

"Okay," Poe said. "Those are good reasons. I'll try to get my head out of my cockpit." He smiled ruefully and looked to Kylo. "Is it the first name or buddy that bothers you?"

"Buddy," Kylo said. "Or Benny, or boy, or whatever else you want to call me in false affection."

Steel snorted and then fell to chortling. "He called you boy? Boy?" He looked at Poe like that was the funniest thing ever. His chortles turned into laughter. "I won't even call you that other. Hell, I won't even repeat it right now. Fuck me. Just when I think I take the prize for saying the most offensive shit to you …" Steel leaned on Nera for support, cracking up. "Not even Snoke went that far."

"Snoke said worse," Kylo said testily.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," Steel said, pulling himself back together. Nera shrugged him off with a grimace. Steel said, "I really am. He's an asshole then, cause that's just an asshole move. And you're so sensitive about that shit." Steel started chuckling again, shaking his head.

"That's why he did it!" Kylo snapped. He took several angry breaths. "He manipulated all of us. You with compliments, me with insults, Nera with affection. Don't you see it? He had something for each of us, except for Tonza. He never could get to her and now she's gone. Doesn't want anything to do with any of us and I don't blame her!"

Steel hesitated, laughter gone. "Yeah, I … I see that." His voice was uncertain. It wasn't clear if he was agreeing because Kylo was enraged about it or if he really understood, but Kylo accepted it either way.

"Fine," Kylo said. "That's something at least."

Rey put her hand on Kylo's. "I think we should take a break."

He looked around the table, at the expressions of those who hadn't signed up to be on the front lines of Kylo's anger, Snoke's past, or whatever emotional drama was spilling off these guys like water. Kylo sighed and stood. "You're right. I'm not fit-" He shook his head and stalked out.

Rey looked at the rest of the table. "I'm sorry-"

Poe shook his head. "Don't be. It's combat stress, or something close to it. I've seen it a lot. Go with him. Be there. Calm him down. Then get his aft back in here. He'll be okay."


	15. Time Out

"I am a tantrum-throwing child," Kylo said to Rey as he paced the hallway, headed nowhere except away from the conference room.

"No, you are not," she said firmly.

He stopped, turned towards her, and then looked everywhere around her other than at her. He shifted his weight. His shoulders moved independently. His hands clasped and released. His lips moved.

"You are the strongest person I know," she told him.

He shook his head, lips pursed, and gestured back where they'd come from. "I can't get through a conversation without-" He shook his head again. "I want to put people through walls. I want to tear things apart. I want to rip open their minds and stuff the truth into them so they can't deny it!"

"There's a reason why you're not doing that."

"Because it's wrong!" He paced, but now only up and down a short stretch while Rey stood in the same place.

"You're choosing to do the right thing. And you can, unlike before. No one else is in control of you now."

"No one was in control of me before, either. I was just stupid and desperate enough to do what he said. I could have left. I should have! I was afraid I wasn't strong enough to overthrow him like I knew I had to. You saw that on Takodana. I tried-" He shook his head. "I don't want to think about it. I can't change it." He swallowed and stopped pacing.

"Kylo, you don't have to."

"I don't want Poe Dameron belittling me!" he burst out.

"I'll talk to him."

"And I don't want Steel pretending Snoke was fine."

"I know how alone you felt. Even before, when all of the knights were with you. So I know even then there was a distance between you and them. You've said Snoke turned all of you against each other. Don't let that continue, Kylo. What you said to Steel and Nera last night was beautiful – that you love them, that you want to protect them. I don't think they realize you gave up the First Order for them." Rey smiled and leaned forward. "You didn't give up the First Order for  _me_."

He watched her, his breathing slowing down and his attention centering on her. "Your life wasn't on the line."

She nodded, accepting that, and went on, "They've chosen to be with you. If Steel was only getting compliments from Snoke while you were getting insults, then it's the same thing as what you were describing with Luke."

"That's why I recognize it," Kylo said, a little sullen, but still listening.

"Don't let the Jedi academy happen all over again – student vs student, but about Snoke this time instead of Luke."

He exhaled heavily. "Don't make them take sides, is that it?"

"Maybe. But regardless of Steel's opinion of Snoke, he loves you right back. Probably Nera, too. She's at least very loyal to you."

Kylo pushed back his hair and sighed. "Okay." He stood a little straighter and looked in the direction of the conference room.

"Can you tell me, though, how the First Order is going to get the news to the core worlds so much faster than we'll get there?"

He looked back to her and chuckled. "That's simple. We- They didn't tell the Resistance the shortest way to get there."

She blinked. "So we're taking the scenic route?"

"Yes," he said. "Decades ago, there was no way to reach the Unknown Regions. Too far away for sublight and too many gravitic anomalies for hyperspace. The first charted courses took months to navigate. Later, they found better routes that took a few weeks. A few months ago, using Starkiller Base, Hux and the Order's top scientists managed to reduce the jump time to only a few days from the Outer Rim. Something about using low-power test beams to chart out the most direct hyperspace paths that didn't have interference. But we don't want the Resistance to know that way."

He paused, then said, "Grand Marshal Hux and I made that decision before the Battle of the  _Supremacy_ , back on Naboo, while you and your friends were going over the information I'd given you. Even if it delayed humanitarian efforts, it preserved a key strategic advantage. And it still does. We've given the Resistance more than enough information about us already."

"'We'," she said. "You still see yourself as part of them."

"It still feels that way, yes."

"Okay," she said. "What side you're on doesn't matter to me, either, but does Hux know you feel this way? Shouldn't he be concerned you'll just give us the coordinates?"

Kylo snorted. "I have a good memory for people. Not numbers. I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. But … I don't know Hux's thoughts on letting me come here. I would have never expected him to defend me as he has, at the Battle of the  _Supremacy_ , or at my trial. I'm not going to give him reason to regret that. I like to think," he hesitated, "that he has decided we could be friends."

She nodded. "I think you are friends. Are you ready to go back in?"

"Yes." He sighed, pursed his lips, and shook out his hands. "Back to battle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me feel worse for Kylo than any other. He doesn't want people making fun of him or gaslighting him. He can't use his typical coping strategies (overpowering people, violence) and hasn't yet become comfortable with new ones. He feels like he's so dysfunctional. He's stymied, frustrated, and hurting.


	16. No Resistance

By the time Kylo and Rey returned, Steel and Nera had moved themselves to the end of the table where they were silent and looked distracted. The others were clustered around the view screen brainstorming. Rey and Kylo took seats midway between them and listened in. Finn was speaking.

"Let's play this to our advantage then," Finn said of the propaganda. "I lead the two Downs planets in a rebellion against the First Order. We'll end their slave harvesting. End the troopers. End it all."

"Most of these are kids," Poe said.

"We'll have to resettle them to the New Republic," Rose said. "One of the main things they're looking for is getting as much information as they can about their pasts. Maybe we can tie together the Republic worlds with the First Order?"

"What are we going to do about food and supplies in the meantime?" Poe asked, continuing to play devil's advocate. "The First Order used to provide everything."

"Make them keep supplying everything," Finn said.

Poe was dubious. "How do we 'make' them? They've got warships. We have … not much."

"They're the ones who brought these kids here," Rose said. "They have an obligation to support them."

Poe shook his head. "I agree with the principle, but keep in mind Hux wanted to bomb them and he's the guy in charge of the Order now. A guilt trip is not going to be enough. What else do we have?"

"There's this other world in rebellion," Finn pointed out. "Jendry Farmworld. We convert them, too, and divert their supplies to the Downs, Epel and Lanson."

"That might work," Poe said, "depending on how many droids they damaged on Jendry, or how fast we can get replacements in."

Kylo said, "They'll blockade the Downs system."

"They-" Finn started. "Why? They want us to take care of this, right?"

"You just said you were going to end the stormtrooper program," Kylo said. "They'll stop you. They'll kill everyone on Epel and Lanson if you succeed."

"They've already lost everyone there," Finn said. "Or most of them. Between these 'Traitors' following me, the 'Sith Supremacists' following you, and the ones undeclared, that's like eighty-five to ninety percent of the population. The High Command Loyalists are just a few holdouts."

"Sith Supremacists," Kylo rolled his eyes at the name and went on, "All that does is make it easy for the First Order to evacuate the Command Loyalists before orbital bombardment," Kylo said. "It's not going to work."

"What do you suggest?" Finn said, crossing his arms.

Kylo said, "Give them back to the First Order. Work the problem from the top down. Press Hux to finish the treaty with the New Republic. Get the government put together. Outlaw slavery. Dismantle the Downs at that point."

"Give them back?" Finn said. "This is our chance! To break the system once and for all. No more slaves, workers, or troops. An entire generation of replacements, gone. This espionage thing of theirs just plays into our hand."

"They know that," Kylo said. "That's why the First Order will wipe the slate clean and start over. You know how practical they are."

"The First Order goes down either way," Finn said.

Kylo leaned forward. "Your way? Millions die. Two planets are uninhabitable. And what's left of the First Order will never cooperate with you again. My way? The regime is changed lawfully. No one dies. Will you let people suffer and die to suit your ideology?" Kylo accused. "Is it more important that they 'turn to the Light' than they find peace, security, and freedom from abuse?"

"The system itself is abusive!" Finn insisted.

"It is not. It is what it has been used for that's the problem!" Kylo said.

"I've been in it!"

"So have I!"

"Hey!" Poe said. "Come on, you two. Stop it, please. We can call as many time-outs as we need, but we're going to get through this." He looked between them until both Finn and Kylo calmed down and looked, if not chastised, then at least willing to be civil.

Poe turned to Kylo. "I have some questions – just throwing them out there. What happens if the First Order doesn't sign the treaty? What if they don't negotiate in good faith? What if they take their secure military force that you'll have handed them and they put a new Empire in place? Even if you trust Hux, which I don't think we can for this sort of thing, there's the High Command to deal with. It's in their best interest not to negotiate."

Kylo sighed, shrugging off his irritation with Finn. "It's in their best interest not to have another Rebellion. Fifty years of destructive warfare? We finally have peace. That counts for something. In any case, we don't have to negotiate. We give the First Order what they want – peaceful, productive planets. We deal with everything else separately. Don't link these two issues. You're only putting a target on them."

Rey said quietly, "Kylo, I don't see how we can let slavery on this scale go forward."

"Giving people freedom like this isn't going to help them," Kylo said, turning to her. "Right now there's anarchy. The First Order will not allow any solution that doesn't support them. They won't let the Resistance to do it, either." He looked at Finn. "You will get this entire mission destroyed. Even if you succeed, they can't eat freedom."

He went on, "You're proposing to take away the First Order structure entirely and rebuild everything into … something that's not even defined yet. Let's rebuild the Order instead. Feed people. House them. Re-establish peace. And  _then_  change things, when they have a chance to be thoughtful about it and they're not looking at starvation or obliteration if they can't get it worked out in time."

Rey frowned. "I told Hux he was enabling the galaxy's largest slavery ring. His response was to tell me that without it, there would be no First Order."

"Do you want the First Order gone badly enough that you will kill everyone in it? Or can you let those people have a say in their future and that of the galaxy?"

"I want slavery gone," she said.

"It will be."

Finn walked around the table, getting close to Kylo. He leaned in. "I think the First Order got inside your head somehow-"

"Finn!" Poe interrupted warningly. Finn shot a look back at Poe to knock it off. More persuasive was Kylo raising one hand in a wave off.

Finn turned back to him, "And you're still with them. Brain-washed, reprogrammed. Something."

"Yes," Kylo said slowly. "I am. I was the recipient of Snoke's personal attention for years. What of it?"

Finn was as stymied as Rey had been when Kylo confessed to being a monster.

Kylo continued, " _You_  were brain-washed, programmed, and systematically lied to for even longer. Yet you believe you have enough free will for your opinion to be worthwhile. Would you deny me that same privilege?" Kylo leaned forward, making them uncomfortably close. "More importantly, do you deny it to all of those who serve the Order now, free of Snoke's coercion and free of the threat of mine? There is nothing making them obey orders right now except their own conscience. That's why we had these revolts!"

"And the revolts say they don't want to serve the Order!"

"I'm not sure of that," Kylo said with a turn of his head. "I think they were revolting against me and what I stood for. Now they've been lied to again with a fantasy about you that's gone to your head. When the reality comes of powerful people taking advantage of them, you and the Resistance won't be there to protect them. The Order will!"

Finn backed away, not happy with Kylo inches away. "It hasn't gone to my head."

Kylo leaned back.

"We can stop the slave harvesting at least," Rey said, "and tell the Order it's necessary to keep it stopped until things are stabilized."

"You can ask," Kylo said, looking at the table between them. "But telling them isn't going to go well. That's what I'm trying to say." He looked up at her. "This is about chain of command, the rule of law, and stability. Until a galactic government is functioning, the First Order is in charge in this region. If we undermine them here, do you really think Armitage Hux or Jacomah Prok will sit across the table and deal with you in good faith? Would Naboo have trusted us if we'd trampled their autonomy?"

"They were really unhappy with you as it was," Poe said.

"Imagine if we'd actually done something," Kylo said. "What would have happened with those negotiations had we impounded so much as a single ship? Would you have still been willing to discuss a treaty with me? The only reason you did was because she," Kylo gestured to Rey, "promised you I would show you respect."

"If we want to win the long game," Poe said, "then we have to let them win this one. That's what you're saying?"

"We both win this one," Kylo said, an edge of frustration creeping into his voice. "All you lose is the allegiance of children who have been duped into believing a myth."


	17. Study by Gaslight

Finn backed off and returned to his seat. "Putting aside how we're going to accomplish this or even if we're going to, can I just ask a question that's been bugging me since I looked at this stuff to start with?" No one objected. He pulled over a datapad. "I was looking at what these guys want. Most of it makes sense – everything the First Order knows about where they came from, pretty much anything that gives them options against abuses of authority, but … reproductive rights?"

Finn was obviously perplexed. "They don't reproduce – slaves, stormtroopers, not even workers I think? That doesn't happen."

Rey said, "It's a drug or something." Finn still looked confused, so she said, "Hux told me the troopers were on a … hormone regulation treatment. To suppress your … drive. Sex drive, he meant."

Finn's head fell forward a bit. "What?"

"You didn't know?" she said uncertainly.

Finn looked at Kylo. "Did you know?"

"No."

He looked across the room at Steel, who shook his head. "What are you looking at me for?" Steel said, reprising Finn's line to him.

Kylo said, "I can say with certainty that the Knights of Ren did not involve themselves in the sex lives of stormtroopers."

Steel spoke up. "We're not nice people, but we weren't like  _that_."

Finn shook his head. "I wasn't saying you were. All I ever heard was that you were killers."

"For which Tark was thoroughly disciplined," Kylo said.

"What?" Finn asked.

"Never mind," Kylo said. "We're talking about two different things."

"How would you not know you were taking medication or had a procedure?" Rey asked, herself confused. "A pill or a shot? Something … done to you?"

"No, I- never." Finn remained flabbergasted. "No wonder they're rioting! Maybe, maybe it's in the food? We all get individualized trays. You saw that, right?" Rey nodded. "Maybe it's just cooked right in. But I'm not eating there anymore. Is it going to go away? Could I be …?"

Rey said, "Hux said people who were promoted to a certain level could choose not to have the treatment, so whatever it is has to be reversible."

"Is he on it?" Poe asked.

"Hux? I don't know," Rey answered. "He didn't say."

"How would I know if I was on it?" Finn asked. "Or maybe they did something to me when I was knocked out sometime?"

"I could … check," Kylo said hesitantly.

Finn looked him over. "Okay. Sure? Does it hurt?"

"No. I will need to touch you. Your hand?" Kylo said. Finn glanced at Rey, who was sitting next to Kylo. She didn't seem to have any reservations, so Finn walked over and took a seat, putting his hand on the table in front of Kylo, palm down. Kylo rested his over it. His eyes slid out of focus.

"I've never seen this done before," Rey said. "May I?" Finn nodded. Rey put her hand over both of them, following Kylo's senses. He was seeing … the inside of Finn's body, she decided. Everything was lumpy and indistinct, internal organs, blood flow, digestive juices, spiritual energies. Kylo's attention was in Finn's lower chest when she started and it steadily dropped through his abdomen as she watched. When she realized how far down Kylo was likely to go, she jerked her hand away.

"What?" Finn asked. Kylo was still concentrating.

"Nothing," she said. "He's … sensing your internal organs. I didn't want to see all of them."

"Oh." Finn said, either not understanding what that meant or not caring if Kylo saw him inside and out. She suspected it was the former. Finn waited.

Kylo removed his hand and shook his head. "There's no implant or device." He turned to Nera. "If it was a systemic medication, could you detect it as a toxin?"

"Perhaps," she said. Kylo made a motion with his head for her to come nearer, so she rose and walked over. She took a seat on one side of the table, motioning for Finn to sit opposite. He did. She put out her hand. Finn put his in hers, like they were shaking hands. She placed her other over his, cradling it. A long, quiet moment passed.

"That kind of tingles," Finn said nervously. "Whoa! What the …!" Finn jerked his hand back and put both hands under the table in his lap. He squirmed reflexively, looking down at himself in alarm and shock. "What the …" he breathed, saying it again. "What did you do to me?"

"Nera," Kylo said. There was something odd about his tone – deeply disappointed maybe, or angry.

Rey glanced down to her side. Finn had his hands over his crotch protectively.

Nera said, "I was checking the biological function."

"You did what now?" Poe asked quietly.

His words were almost lost by Finn saying in a raised voice, "I didn't want you to check that! Why do you even have an ability like that? How does that work?"

She looked amused. "The Force allows much like it the same. This is obvious."

Rey took Kylo's hand. There was a tremble in it that stilled as she held it, even though he didn't stop staring at Nera. Nera's eyes had flicked to Kylo and her face lost all expression. Her gaze dropped to where her hands still rested on the table. She did not move.

"How do you even learn that?" Finn went on in alarm and defensiveness. "Who taught you that? Snoke? Why would he teach that?"

"Calm down," Steel said dismissively, coming closer and standing next to Nera protectively. He glanced at Kylo, then to Finn. "You'll get over it in a few minutes. Or she can make it go away immediately if it bothers you so much."

Finn glared at her. "There's another ability that does that? Why do you know these things?" But he was keeping his hands firmly to himself. Then he looked at Steel. "She's done this to you, too?" He looked at Kylo, who was still staring at Nera. "Both of you? Her?"

Steel glanced over at Kylo, then to Finn. "Her, Snoke, others. Who gives a dosh? You're fine." He put his hand on her shoulder and angled himself between her and Kylo.

"That wasn't right," Poe said levelly, but most of his attention was split looking between people and trying to read what was going on outside of Finn's well-founded anger.

"I didn't want her doing that to me!" Finn said emphatically. Then, disbelievingly, "Snoke?" He looked from Steel to Kylo and finally registered Kylo's expression. "Snoke," Finn said in realization, looking back and forth between the three of them. "Ew. I didn't know what you meant by him being interested in … urges. I do now! Ew!" Finn looked like he'd never feel clean again.

"Being disgusted is pretty kriffing rich coming from you!" Steel said. He leaned forward and put his hand on the table next to Nera's. It looked like he was leaning in towards Finn for whatever reason, but it put his torso entirely between Nera and Kylo. "You asked her to do that to you!"

"I did not!" Finn said emphatically. "And what does that mean anyway, 'coming from me'?"

"This is the same thing you said would happen yesterday," Steel said, swiveling his head to Kylo, ignoring Finn. Unable to see Nera's face, Kylo met his eyes.

"What happened yesterday?" Poe asked.

"Nothing," Rose put in, unintentionally muddying the waters.

Now Finn was looking at her. "Why did he mention it then? Something had to have happened."

"Nothing happened," Rose insisted. "He just touched my face."

Rey said, "She's telling the truth." But everyone was talking at once, most over one another and not listening or only catching bits of one another's statements.

"Did he do something like that to you?" Finn demanded of Rose. "Why was he touching you at all?"

"What just happened here was not nothing," Poe said.

"It's guilt by accusation. That's what he meant," Rose said.

"You shouldn't be involving yourself," Kylo said to Steel. His voice was tight.

"This is not just some accusation," Finn said, gesturing at Nera. "She did something. She molested me or something. She just did it right in front of everyone!"

"She didn't do anything," Steel indicated Nera, but he was talking to Kylo, ignoring everyone else. "She's not even human."

"Yes, she did!" Finn said, catching part of what Steel was saying to Kylo.

Rose said, "We're talking about different things."

"That's not an excuse!" Kylo said in a growl to Steel. "She shouldn't have done  _that_. I didn't ask her to do  _that_."

"This is confusing," Rey said. "I'm not even sure what happened."

"It's nothing. It's always been nothing," Steel insisted. "Just like yesterday."

"It's not nothing!" Kylo lashed out at Steel, his raised voice suddenly dominating the conversation. "Just because no one ever said anything doesn't mean it didn't matter! What was there to say? Who would have listened? And you know it, or else you wouldn't be putting yourself between me and her like you think I'm going to kill her!"

Steel's expression was subdued, but he didn't flinch from his position. "Are you?" His voice was small.

"No!" Kylo surged to his feet, the violence of it taking away any stability his answer might have given.

Finn opened his mouth. Rey stood next to Kylo. "No! No! Everyone! Shut up. Stop it!" Enough silence fell over the table that the sound of Kylo grinding his teeth was apparent. Rey put her hand to his shoulder and pushed him back down into his seat. He stopped grinding his teeth. When she had everyone's attention, she said, "I was there yesterday. With Steel. With Rose." She looked to Rose. "Tell them what happened."

All eyes turned to Rose, who looked momentarily overwhelmed by the attention. Then she rallied. "I asked Steel if he could tell if I had any … Force. He said he'd check. He held my hands, then put his hands on my shoulders. Then his fingers on my temples. That was all."

"I thought you were pretty," Steel put in for some reason. "I looked at you." He still hadn't moved – leaning on the table, hand next to Nera's. He was hanging out there like this just happened to be a comfortable place to be.

Rose blushed at his compliment. Finn's mouth opened and Rey cut him off again. "Kylo confronted Steel and told him not to do that again, because any accusation was dangerous when it's difficult to prove you didn't do anything." She turned to Finn. "I was there. Steel didn't do anything."

Finn looked at Rose, who nodded.

After a beat of silence, Poe said, "Thank you. That explains that part." He looked to Kylo, who had calmed himself somewhat. "That's smart of you. Good idea. This whole thing introduces issues I'd never thought of before. We need to talk about that. Later. But for now," he looked back to Nera. Steel was in his way. "Can you move?"

Steel hesitated, then straightened to standing. He didn't go anywhere, but at least Poe could see Nera.

Speaking to her, Poe motioned at Finn. "You did something to him, right?"

Steel started to object, but Poe cut him off with a sharp gesture. Steel rolled his eyes. Kylo shot Steel a glare. Nera was still looking at her hands. She said carefully, "I was finding the start of his problem to try." Steel nodded vigorously, ignoring Kylo.

"Okay," Poe said. "Nera? That thing you did that he felt? Don't do that to any member of my crew again. Ever." Poe's tone was very unlike his usual more easy-going one.

Nera said, "Yes sir." Finn nodded a few times as though this was what he wanted out of it. Kylo's eyes narrowed. Steel scowled.

Poe looked up at Steel. "You know how to do that?"

"To myself."

Poe hesitated. "Uh … kay. You can do whatever you want to yourself." He looked at Kylo. "You?"

"I am familiar with the ability."

"I caught that, yeah. Don't use it," Poe said. Kylo said nothing, but looked from Nera to Poe with a dissatisfied expression. Poe tilted his head and looked at him. "You got me?"

"You have refused any claim of authority over us. Absent that, I take issue with you attempting to give orders to my people."

Poe blinked and widened his eyes as he pulled his head back. "This again? And over this? You take issue over this?"

"I take issue over the orders."

Poe sucked his teeth and regarded Kylo, leaning forward a little. "Okay, listen. I think you and I are on the same wavelength here for right, wrong, and what's just a really bad idea. I'm going to pick my battles and arguing with you over authority isn't one I want to fight. I will over that ability being used on people without their permission. You asked who would have listened? I'm listening. It matters."

Kylo gave him a long look, then dropped his gaze and relaxed slowly.

Poe turned back to Finn. "Are you alright? You need a moment? Need to go … change your pants or something?"

"No, I'm," Finn hesitated, "uh … I don't know. I'll … go check, I guess." Finn left the room.

Poe looked at Nera. "Nera? Are you alright?"

She finally moved, but not to look at Poe. Her red eyes looked up at Kylo, who nodded to her and exhaled heavily.

"Yes sir," she said, eyes turning to Poe.

"Okay. Please don't take offense at this, Nera, because I have to be sure of something." Poe turned to Kylo. "Does she understand Basic well enough to know what she was asked to do, why we're upset, and what I've asked her not to do?"

Kylo waited several long beats before replying. "I will make sure she understands." Steel shifted in place, squared his shoulders, and clenched his fists. Kylo looked up at him. "Steel, I swear – I will not harm her."

Steel bared his teeth at him and then laughed nervously. "Yeah. Okay, okay."

"Alright." Poe rubbed his forehead and shook his head. "This would be hilarious if it wasn't so deadly serious and intensely personal." He looked around the room and the various people assembled. "Just a gut check here, guys. Are we all okay with one another? I gotta know."

There was a long, distressing beat of silence before Rey and Kylo said, "Yes," in unison. A moment later, Rose chimed in, "I think we're okay." Then Steel, "I'm fine." Poe looked around at the others. Kaydel Ko, who had said nothing whatsoever through the entire meeting, now said, "This isn't how people are supposed to act."

Poe chuckled. "Yeah, I'm with you there. But uh, um, I think we're all doing our best here. Sometimes that's all you can ask of people. Can you hang in here with us? You're an important part of the team."

"Yes. I'm … I'm here," Kaydel responded with a small smile.

Poe nodded. "Anyone else? No shame in having issues, guys. We already have issues. If you have some extra ones, just put them on the table so we're all being honest with each other."

Finn came back in and took his seat near Rose, Poe, and Kaydel.

Poe looked around at the arrangement and said, "Does anyone else notice that the four of us are up here around the view screen and those four are down there?"

Rose said, "Move up here with us."

Almost reluctantly, the four Force users in the room joined the rest. Kylo reached over and touched the table in front of Nera. He whispered, "It's okay." She nodded once. Steel nodded at him as well. They turned their attention to the others.

Poe nodded. "Okay, let's get started again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title refers to the gas-lighting Steel tries to use on Kylo, variations of which have probably been used on all of them the whole while they were with Snoke. It's the diminishment tactic - your trauma (or feelings about something that's happening or happened to you) don't matter, aren't important, the thing itself was routine, you're getting too worked up, it's irrelevant, why are you so agitated about this? Is there something wrong with you? Everyone else is fine with this. Etc.
> 
> Also, Poe was absolutely having none of that on his watch. By the end of this, he's quite aware that he's ended up running a group therapy session more than anything else. But he figures that's probably a good use of their time.


	18. Ghosts

"Ben. Or Kylo Ren. I'm not even sure what to call you," Leia said through the hazy projection R2-D2 was casting. "There are many things I wish I'd had a chance to sit down with you and explain, about your past and my decisions in it. Even now, as I sit here with access to all the communication equipment I need, I'm not reaching out to you. Instead, I'm recording a message for you to find later.

"I know … that's wrong of me."

"I felt you pass by the bridge of the  _Raddus_ , so close it was within the containment field and rattled our windows. I know you sensed me. Three small ships, attacking at such risk to yourselves. But it was a good idea. A good shot, too. Took out all our leadership. Not quite me. That's why I'm recording a message instead of calling."

Kylo exhaled, deflating. He was alone, with no one other than the droid to see his tears. She had died thinking he'd fired. When he'd spoken with Rey about it, there had been a sliver of hope. Now there was none. It was so bitter and there was nothing, absolutely nothing at all, he could do about it.

"I don't know what to say, Ben," her voice was sad, as though she knew he was crying. "I could tell you my side of the story, but between Han's death … and mine … I don't think you want to hear it. It doesn't matter anymore. I've lost hope. I'm not going to make it through the night. But there are others who believe in you."

To hear that she'd lost hope in him was even more wrenching. He covered his face and tried not to make too much sound.

"Luke … loves you, too. He keeps telling me that." She smiled. "He'd tell you that himself if you'd listen. I love you, as well. You're my son. Even after … all you've done. I don't understand it, but just as I'm not going to get to explain myself to you, you're not going to get to explain yourself to me. Life's tough that way sometimes."

He looked up at the projection with a hopeless smirk. She'd always been ruthlessly practical on a certain level.

"If my love and Luke's doesn't make a difference, then there's a woman here who should. She has this look in her eyes whenever she talks about you. She defends you. She has so much faith in you. She's defied both Luke and I to see more of you. I hope for her sake, for  _your_  sake, that you find it within you to grow beyond the darkness that's consumed you.

"Darth Vader did, at the end. You can, too – earlier, I hope. Good luck. And may the Force be with you always."

The image clicked off. The droid beeped querulously at him. Kylo waved a hand dismissively at it and let his head go back to hanging. His shoulders shook slowly. The soft, blue glow of the projection seemed to come back. With a sigh, Kylo raised his head, saying, "I meant-" He froze.

The glow was not an automatic replay of Leia's message, or a still image from it. It was instead, a glowing, translucent Luke Skywalker. But then Kylo's logical mind overrode his intuitive grasp of reality. It had to be a projection after all. "Turn it off, R2," he growled. The droid gave him another confused series of beeps and swiveled to face him.

Luke was sitting on a toolbox across from him, not really in the direction of R2's projector to start with and not at all now that R2 had turned. Luke was also larger than a standard projection and much more detailed, even if faint. Then, what Kylo had taken to be a still image … blinked. Kylo twitched. "R2, leave. Now." The droid made a rude noise about his lack of manners and rolled itself from the room.

Kylo's fingers moved slightly, but he managed not to reach for his lightsaber. He knew it would do him no good. Gradually, his breathing slowed. His heart rate was coming back down. He was still staring fixedly at his uncle. He'd heard plenty about ghosts, ones who manifested through the Force and otherwise. It was why he'd expected at least some member of his family might hear him and have an understanding of his situation when he spoke to Vader's helmet. But he'd never had one appear visibly before him.

Luke finally did something other than sit there and regard him with sympathy. "The fear I see in your eyes at the very sight of me, even now, cuts me to the bone."

Kylo sneered, taking solace in anger. "What do you expect? You have haunted my nightmares for six years. And now my waking hours as well?"

Luke dipped his head to the side. "Visiting you while you were sleeping … seemed like it would be a mistake."

"It was!" Kylo reached up and wiped off the tears from Leia's message. Luke exhaled and looked genuinely remorseful. Kylo scowled. "I saw fear of me on the faces of two people I love today." He bared his teeth at Luke. "I wish that on you double."

"Then you know how much that hurts," Luke said. "You should know, Leia recorded that message at a very dark time. I do love you."

Kylo sulked. "Why have you come? Is it to bring me to the light side from beyond the grave?"

"No." Luke put both hands on his knees. "I came to talk about that night."

"I don't want to speak of it!" Kylo said, breathing hard all over again. They both knew which one Luke meant. "It's over! I've moved on!"

"We can talk about something else, then," Luke said in a patient, even voice. "I assume you've heard the story of how I persuaded your father to turn?"

Kylo raised his brows in a mockery of interest. "I've seen the overly sensationalized idiocy the New Republic believes. And I've heard Snoke's version, which was much simpler, but I doubt was any truer. You would barely talk about it when you lived."

Luke nodded. "There were parts of that story that I've never told anyone, not even Leia. But I want to tell you one of them." He paused, but Kylo couldn't quite bring himself to refuse the offer. Luke continued, "The most important is that I failed."

Kylo's hands curled slowly into fists and he leaned forward. His eyes narrowed.

"I went there to save my father. That was my goal." Luke shook his head. "I didn't. He died there. For the rest of my life, every time that story was told, I had to remember that. I had to remember getting angry, letting the dark side flow into me, and swinging that laser sword with everything I had until I sliced off your grandfather's sword hand."

Kylo swallowed, eyes widening.

"He was heaving. Something had drained him. My anger, his turn to the light, the emperor – I don't know. The man everyone was terrified of, the sorcerer, the swordsman, the dark side incarnate – he could barely stay on his feet. That was before I crippled him. You see, when the moment came and I was tempted by the dark side, I … fell. I gave in. I lost it." Luke shrugged. "I changed my mind later. Sure. The holos have that right. But I spent enough time on the dark side to beat him to his knees and maim him. Because of what I did, my father died and I failed.

"I told myself I would help others avoid my mistake. That my penance would be making sure it didn't happen to anyone else. I took on students. I tried to keep them away from the dark side. I tried to teach them to recognize temptation and refuse it. And one night, I woke with a premonition, a feeling that darkness had taken already taken root in the mind of my nephew."

"No!" Kylo surged to his feet and moved towards the door. "I don't want to hear your side of it! I will not!"

"I didn't want to tell it either. One less failure to relate." Luke shook his head sadly. Kylo sneered at him as he turned to face him again. Luke said, "I'll skip that part."

Kylo's nostrils flared. He crossed his arms and stood as though listening.

Luke said, "My father didn't need me to save him. He needed his family. It was all he'd ever wanted, from the time he was a little boy." Kylo shifted his feet but said nothing. Luke went on, "I went to Crait to give you what you needed."

"What you did on Crait took my mother from me," he snarled.

"I kept you from killing Rey," Luke said softly. Kylo drew in a quick, deep breath and let it out. His face fell. He had tears again. "And yourself," Luke said in a whisper. Kylo pressed his lips together tightly. As they dropped to Crait, Kylo had ordered Hux to show no quarter, take no prisoners, let no one survive … with a fairly good idea that he himself wouldn't survive the severing of the bond. Nor did he care, at that point. Luke was right.

"I let you finish things with me, so that six years of nightmares would be over … for a lot of people. No one could ever use my name against you, or anyone else, again like that. I had to do it right this time – no one on their knees, no one cut apart. My own … nightmare … ended, so I could finally have peace. To know that the dark side faced me, tempted me to lash out, and for once, I was strong enough to resist the temptation.

"I don't want to talk about what you don't want to hear. But I hope I've said enough that you understand that night, as well."

Kylo's lips pressed together. After a long moment, he nodded.

Luke nodded back. "You have a family that Leia, Han, your grandfather, and myself, never had. I know … you're trying to take good care of them. I also know it's been tough. Keep up the good work, kid. Call me if you need me. You know how to do it." He winked at his nephew and faded out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two faces in fear Kylo refers to are Steel and Nera.


	19. FinnRose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit. No warnings apply. First time sex for Finn. Rose has done this before at some point.

"Just like this," Rose said softly, touching her lips to Finn's. They were in his quarters, she, on top of him with her hands braced on the mattress on either side of his head. She was wearing her undergarments, same as him – t-shirt and underwear.

They'd talked for an hour and then looked only briefly at the datapad she'd brought before agreeing it was more interesting to try things for themselves than look at others. She kissed him again and he tried moving his lips with hers. Then he smiled and chuckled, wiggling under her. "That tickles."

"It won't if we kiss harder. Like this," she said, demonstrating.

"Oh!" he breathed out, sighing. His hand went to her waist, cupping her body there, then slid over hip to buttock where he smoothed over the rounded contour.

"Mmm," she hummed, kissing him more firmly and touching her tongue to his lips.

He laughed and squirmed, putting both hands on her backside now. "Does everything about this tickle?"

"You like it?"

"Of course, I like it! The First Order has so much to answer for."

"How's that?"

"They had us learning to kill people when we could have been doing this all that time? Or some of it? They didn't allow this except among the upper ranks? They have some kind of sterilization complex with the sanitation and purity stuff?" He shook his head. "Also, no wonder Rey's with Kylo … if she was going to get something like this?"

Rose chuckled. "Yeah, well, I think anyone with eyes can understand that."

"What do you mean?" Finn asked quickly.

"He's good-looking," she said of Kylo. "Not my type, but … yeah."

"With that scar?" Finn asked dubiously.

She shrugged.

"You like scars?" he asked. "Have you seen my back? My scar's bigger than his. Way bigger."

"I like for people not to have to get them in the first place." She kissed him again and they enjoyed one another for a minute or two.

When they parted, he asked, "You have a type? Is that why … with Steel?"

"I didn't do anything with Steel."

Finn shrugged one shoulder, but he didn't act threatened. He was just teasing. "He looks sort of like me, once he takes off the helmet and stuff. I was just wondering …"

She settled onto his chest. "He's not my hero like you are. I think he's probably the opposite of a hero." She gave her head a decisive shake. "You don't need to worry."

"I'm not worried. I believe you. And him. And Rey. But mostly you. He likes you, though. So do I." They went back to kissing. He slid his hands up her back, under the shirt, gliding them over warm, smooth skin as their mouths joined and she showed him how to use his tongue. It stopped being ticklish and became engrossing.

"Oh, oh," he breathed eventually. "Something's wrong with me. Like what Nera did."

"Um?" She looked down between them in the direction of his groin. "That's what's supposed to happen, silly."

"I know, but … I'm breathing hard. My heart's beating. Fast. That didn't happen when she did whatever."

"It's okay. That's normal, too. Don't judge whatever weird Force thing she did to you as … right. It wasn't."

He nodded.

She waited a beat, then kissed him again. He focused on her and tried to relax. He didn't so much as relax as get entirely distracted by being with her, touching her, kissing her. He freed his hands from under her shirt and touched her hair, petting her head like he wasn't quite sure how involved he was allowed to get. Then she began shifting her hips against him.

"Ah!" He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Wow, wow, wow."

She stopped to laugh at how delightful he was, then kissed him full on with a grin still plastered on her face. It made the kiss awkward, but the passion that he used in kissing back swept it away in a moment. She engaged with him fully, a moan in the back of her throat as she went back to riding him through their clothes. When they finally parted, she was panting. "You want to get undressed?"

"Uh … yeah."

They both finished stripping and she climbed atop him again, kissing more, cupping his head, touching his face, caressing him until he was whining into her mouth. She shifted back then, feeling him against her. She made a few careful wiggles. He reached down and set himself. She slid back in inches.

"Oh, oh my … oh my. How- Stars. Rose. I love you, Rose. Oh my." He started moving inside her, a tremble running through his body. She pressed back further, settling on him and letting him set the pace. His hands were on her hips as he figured out how to move her and himself. "Gods," he breathed reverently. "I don't have words."

"You don't have to narrate," she said, barely keeping herself from giggling. "Just do it."

"I'm … yeah." He groaned and started moving faster. She lifted herself up, pushing back against him, meeting him every thrust as he finished. He made a few choking gasps, half of an attempt at a laugh, then just breathed as he wound down from the orgasm. "Yeah," he said, panting. "That's … that's good. Incredible. Oh my. I don't know. That's the best. I love you. I love all of this."

She moved up and kissed him, deeply and repeatedly. "Next time is my turn."

"Your turn?" he said hopefully.

"I will teach you all about this, buster."

"Sign me up," he agreed.


	20. Nera

**A/N: The black/white teardrop emblem is the yin/yang symbol.**

Rey turned her attention to Nera. Kylo and Steel had been fighting it out for nearly fifteen minutes on the cleared aisle of the cargo bay, grappling and occasionally throwing mock strikes at one another. They were nowhere near done, if their previous bouts were any indicator.

She gave Nera's mind a push with her own, as Kylo had suggested if she wanted to get to know the other knight. What she got back was an ellipsis, or the mental equivalent of it: "…" Then a paisley shape that morphed into Rose Tico's locket, which morphed into the circular, black/white chasing teardrop emblem from the Jedi texts. Kylo was black. Rey was white. Nera's mind pointed at the white. Or focused there.

"Yes, that's me," Rey thought to her in the manner she used to communicate mentally with Kylo. It was similar to what Hux had described on Naboo – just an extension of speaking. But that wasn't what she was getting from Nera. What Nera was giving her was layered mix of concepts. The meaning was mostly clear from it, but not entirely.

Nera presented a representation of the Force bond. The outline between the white and black on the interlocking symbol. It glowed. It shifted. The black faded, but there was a bit of it in Nera even now. A bit of Kylo. She treasured that. He had finally allowed it, just last night. She needed it. She pointed at it. She wanted Rey to know about it.

Rey realized with a start that she was inside Nera's mind, as fully immersed as she'd been in Kylo's on Takodana. Nera showed her a mirror. Nera was inside Rey's mind, in the cave, looking at the versions of Rey lined up in series.

"You're looking at that?" Rey asked. She wasn't sure how to feel about her memories being put up for examination, but she supposed she could end the contact if she needed to.

"We are speaking," Nera said, carefully forming and choosing the words. "We exist in one another's minds as words do not live in the air between but are perceived by the ear and made sense of by thinking. Without the thinking, the word has no meaning. Without you, I have no meaning."

"What?" Rey stumbled at that, unable to fully grasp a complicated concept of identity that Nera presented to her like a gemstone puzzle box, as though it would explain where the words did not. Rey blinked at it uncomprehendingly. She'd grown up around enough aliens to know that most thought similarly enough to herself that this wasn't the issue. She'd imagined that seeing Nera's mind would clear up the language barrier. She probed at Nera's identity as well, trying to figure it out.

Basic wasn't Nera's first language. That was Shuuni, the language of the Shifala from Carreras Major, but Nera had difficulties with it as well. From a small clinger, she'd known how to see into other minds and ask for what she wanted. The development of speech of any kind had largely passed her by. Images of her past flitted by.

It was only at Luke's, where she'd been sent for rehabilitation of her near-reflexive mind-control of those around her, that she'd been forced to learn to speak and some idea of boundaries. She still preferred silence and the mind. She projected telepathically to the knights with her and preferred to have them speak for her. Snoke had rarely required her to say a word unless he was displeased with her.

"Snoke," Rey said. The mental feel of him was entirely different from when the name crossed Kylo's mind. There was no repugnance here, no shying away, or automatically deadening as Kylo did.

Nera gave her impressions of what Snoke was to her: dark velvet of deepest space; the black of absolute void; an awareness fathomless and uncharted, impossible to follow or define; a feeling of being lost but without fear; beautiful, blue eyes whose attention was sought after and often generously granted; home; nest; security; soft of skin like the eyelid of an infant; thoughts sounding through her like sibilant whispers, plucked strings; she responded. But now, he was gone. Kylo had killed him. Death. Emptiness. Ache that didn't end, like a bone had been plucked from her body and she was expected to continue on without it.

There was no anger in her at the death. It was only factual and how it had effected her. The void was still there, a wound, a withering inside of her caused by unmet need. Nera pointed again to the yin/yang symbol and Kylo's black and the thread of awareness that lingered inside her, replacing something much more potent and encompassing that Snoke had been for her. Snoke had been a safety net. Kylo was a dream-catcher, a reminder of a net. But it was what she had and she hoped she could grow around it and be well.

Rey touched that thread of Kylo Ren.

Kylo made a strangled noise and the sounds of fighting stopped.

Steel said, "Whoa. You okay? What's …?"

Rey felt Kylo's mind touch hers back like a couple fingertips along one of her fingers. He knew who she was by that touch alone. Nera sent him a more complicated mental image of what they were doing.

"Yeah, fine," Kylo told Steel. His awareness withdrew and the two men went back to fighting. But the thread remained there in Nera's mind. She tucked it back and away, drawing in the flavor of Rey's mind to see if she need worry. Would Rey try to damage this thing or make Kylo end it?

"He's the one who told me to do this, to get to know you," Rey said. "Is he always there in your mind?"

Yesterday, only yesterday. After so long and empty and nothing but hunger, even though only a two-week but felt longer dead. Now sleep and restfulness and meditation and centering. She needed that touchstone to stay here, to not let herself fall into the forever of contemplating the Force and seeking Snoke where he was not. Without it, she would reach out to those around her again, as she had as a child, and suspend herself from them as on vines in a forest. As she did now, with Kylo's thread.

Luke had taught this as an evil, to be denied and never done, a manner of existence she could not sustain. Snoke taught that her need was a weakness and she should love only him. Kylo taught it as something he would tolerate because he wanted her well. She did not know if he gave enough that she could become well. Snoke had, but Snoke was dead. She would have to see.

"You're … heart-broken, you mean?" Rey asked, trying to make sense of what was either a non-human pack need, or a Force-inspired developmental disability (or both). Either way, she could sense that Nera had tried in the past, and was continuing to try, to navigate the world to get what she needed without causing problems.

There was again a feeling of suction and tendrils of more invasive awareness. Nera wanted something from her, some assurance or certainty.

"I am not against you. Or against Kylo helping you," Rey told her. That need and concern and perhaps fear retracted.

Nera put her thoughts into words. "Steel said humans would not understand this."

"I don't understand," Rey said. "But that doesn't mean I have to do anything about it. I believe you when you say you need it. I can feel that."

Nera showed her Jakku from Rey's own memories. A glimpse out the Falcon's view port. Then other images and thoughts: Seer of the stars. Observatory. The planet. The Empire. The great hulking scraps. Places under the sand. People, dead. Bodies in shallow graves. Other bodies in very deep ones. Snoke looking at the place from very far away. Looking at it, it was looking at him. It was time. It would always be time.

"You mean," Rey said slowly, trying to make sense of that. "There's something there? The Empire had something there?"

It was still there. But different now. Important to Rey? Important to Snoke. Parallel. Divergent. Force vergence. Interesting trivial thing found while looking at important things to Rey. Snoke collected. Kylo collected. Luke collected. Nera did not collect. But she saw.

"Oh," Rey said, thinking she worked it out. "Small talk?" She could feel more delicate probing at her history. "No, wait. Stop that." Nera withdrew and achieved an impressive mental stillness that Rey took a moment to admire. "I just wanted to get to know you. To say hello. You're one of the knights. You're important to Kylo. You don't speak much and now I understand better why."

Done? Not only was she still, but Nera's mental presence became smaller. The sound of Steel and Kylo panting impinged on Rey's consciousness. They'd stopped fighting and were breathing hard, doing nothing else at the moment.

"No, not necessarily," Rey said. "I just don't know what to say, but I don't want you picking through my memories and commenting on them."

A desire to show something for approval …

There was a subtle swell of music. Rey turned her attention to it. She felt Nera being pleased by that. Others liked this when she did it. Nera layered in a breeze, the temperature so perfect it felt like warm water flowing across the skin, ruffling her fur. Rey blinked down at herself. Nera nudged the mental framework so Rey was possessed of a human body – hair, not fur.

The music was enrapturing, but Rey would have been hard-pressed to describe it. The breeze smelled of fragrant summer flowers – equally nebulous, but she knew it was her favorite scent. The stars shone above her, as she was looking up through a trellis of vines. She laid on a soft lounge chair, a cool drink beside her and a lover nearby. Her body felt satisfied, as though after sex. She had everything she wanted. It was so peaceful.

Rey felt her head tip forward, eyes shut, awareness of reality slowly being replaced by the mirage. Narcotic. She felt another nudge.

"Do not sleep," Nera said. "Enjoy. I show you?"

Rey roused herself with difficulty. Seduction. Lethargy. Temptation. She felt confused. Her head was heavy. Nera nudged her again in her mind, but Rey didn't know what it meant. It was just an irritant.

Kylo laid a hand over Rey's and a cool darkness flowed over the image, purging it and giving her life. Rey inhaled sharply and stiffened, blinking and looking around. "What?" Reality solidified and she was pulled from the trance. Kylo was standing next to her, sweaty from his extended bout of wrestling, but calm and collected otherwise.

"You were getting lost in it," Kylo said gently. "It's easy to do, especially to start with. This – what Nera can do – is a good test of your ability to stay centered and not lose your sense of self, or your awareness of where you are in the world. You should try it again some other time, perhaps tomorrow when we come down to spar and practice? But make sure I'm close when you do it. It can be difficult to come back and Nera … tends to get lost in it as well."

"Do you know how to do this?" Rey asked.

"I can kill minor pains and dull greater ones. I can cause sensations on the skin, or make people think they've heard or seen something vague. I can distract the mind." Kylo shook his head "I don't have her range or finesse, nor do I want it. I haven't experienced any other ability that can equal this one for the harm it can do to a person's mind."

Rey hesitated for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "This is the ability you've had used on you before."

"Among others," he said dryly. "But that's not about Nera. I spoke with her at length about what she did to Finn. She will be more careful in how she uses it. She has also requested of me this link she showed you."

"What is that? I didn't understand her explanation."

Kylo smiled. "It will get easier to understand her. She needs people. She always has. A mental sense of them. That's why I wanted you to get to know her a little. You said … that I should do what I could to heal this distance between us, the knights and I. To work on building my family." She nodded. "That's what I'm doing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Shifala from Carreras Major are out of the Star Wars wiki. All I wanted some some little-known race with ape-like features. Nera's communication difficulties are not race-related. It's a developmental disability caused by early manifestation of telepathic abilities and a failure to develop spoken language until she was a mid-teen. I imagine Luke had all kinds of problems with her. Between Nera the speechless, Jophesta the wild child, Steel who barely has the Force, and Kylo who has too kriffing much Force plus dark side issues ... and all of these folks possessed of dangerous, invasive supernatural power, immaturity, and in some cases teenage hormones ... I think you can see that Luke **seriously** had his hands full. The poor guy. Honest to God. If he had the cast of characters I've put together for him, then he probably did the best he could.
> 
> Also, I never wrote the scene between Kylo and Nera where he went to her between last chapter and this one, had a long mental conversation with her about consent and boundaries, and set up a very faint telepathic/mental link with him so she had something to hang onto in the absence of Snoke. But it happened.


	21. Downplanet

**A/N: I originally wrote this humungous chapter from Rey's point of view, with the full telepathic conversations the knights were having. It worked better from Finn's POV, but now there's a complete confusion over who is doing what with the Force, because Finn has no idea. Just know that it was all laid out and made sense, and characters who have been previously established as not being able to do certain things have not suddenly developed the power to do those things. (But they can ask their friend to do those things for them.)**

As there was no response to their hails, they elected to go to Lanson Down in person with a single ship and a small team to start with. It was just Rey, Kylo, Finn, Steel, Nera, and Kaydel. Poe, Rose, and many others wanted to go, but they didn't know who they needed or what they'd find. Poe's stated logic was to send people who had the best combination of personal combat and First Order experience, with Kaydel added for her communications and organizational background. It made her the odd one out, also the only one with a purely Resistance background. Everyone else's loyalties and priorities were … muddy.

No one met them at the landing zone or in the main administration building. They paused in the main hall of the admin building. Before them was a large poster showing a dark-skinned woman staring upward and to the side as stylized star destroyers and TIE fighters flew across the sky behind her in beams of red and white light.

Finn looked at it and chuckled. "Feels like ages since I've seen that," he said.

Kylo said, "Snoke never came down here in person." He waved at the poster as though it was proof.

"I don't remember him coming down here either," Finn said, "but I don't know what the poster has to do with it."

"That's Grand Admiral Rae Sloane."

"Yeah? I know. I went to school here. She's all over the place here."

Kylo nodded slowly. "Snoke only came to power when she and Grand Admiral Thrawn went missing – two of the best minds the First Order had. Along with possibly Hux, but he was six years younger and once they were gone – both had been mentors to him – Snoke terminated his assignment here. He was attached to Snoke's personal retinue to head up the Starkiller project.

"In retrospect, it seems obvious that whatever happened to Thrawn and Sloane was engineered by Snoke. He wouldn't have tolerated posters to either one of them. But … Hux was here for years. And Snoke never came here to demand they be taken down." Kylo looked to Finn. "Was Hux still here when you were a cadet?"

"For a couple years, yeah. He oversaw some of my training personally. Him and Phasma. She stayed here and went with my graduating class when we were given our assignment. We were all part of a special class."

Rey said, "Annika said he'd changed his father's practices to reduce reprogramming and … problems."

"Annika?" Finn asked.

"Lt. Lem," Rey clarified. Finn nodded, but he had no idea who she was talking about. He wondered if she thought that just because they were both First Order, they'd know each other. Rey added, "She was on the  _Supremacy_  and the  _Finalizer_. Kylo's staff. She was an analyst."

Finn smooshed his lips together and nodded politely. Still had no idea who that was.

Kylo said, "He  _is_  trying to change things."

"Hux?" Finn said. He knew Hux. Well enough, at least. Aside from the presence during training, he'd heard and often seen the guy on a daily basis on holos. And of course, he'd been slapped by him on the  _Supremacy_ and scowled at on Naboo, which was an improvement.

"For all his harping on protocol," Kylo said, "Hux supported me as supreme leader because the rest of the High Command wasn't revolutionary enough for his tastes."

"Well," Finn said, "things are certainly revolting now. Let's keep moving."

They left the building using the wide stone steps of the main entrance. It was ringed by statues representing the major troop designations, with two workers and one slave on the end of each side. Several had been defaced with paint and markers. One to the side had a bucket, a brush, a clump of rags, and some cans next to it.

Steel walked over to examine it. "They were cleaning it," he said. Like Nera, Steel had donned his helmet and full combat gear for the mission. They wore form-fitting body armor under their robes. They were lucky the bright Lanson sun wasn't terribly hot. "They must have split when we landed."

Like them, Kylo had reverted to black (and light body armor), but he had no helmet. He said, "They're at the end of the block down there. Two of them."

"I see them," Rey said. "They're children, watching us with a set of quadnoculars almost as big as the boy's head." Kaydel and Finn both looked in the direction she was, off to the left and down the street towards a pile of rubble and crashed speeder bikes.

"Are those bodies down there?" Finn said. "Covered up by that blanket or tarp? Whatever that thing is that's flapping?"

"I think so," Rey said. "But the children are to the right, beyond that … nerf or luggabeast creature."

"It's a tremor-ox," Finn said. "They're semi-domesticated, non-sentient. I guess that one would be fully domesticated because it has a harness on it. It's not supposed to be this quiet out here, by the way." As if to punctuate his words, they heard a distant explosion followed by somewhat closer yelling to the right and a couple blaster shots heard far to the left. "It's not supposed to sound like that, either."

"I'm going to talk to them," Rey said, setting off down the street. Kylo followed at a distance of maybe ten paces. Steel and Nera flanked him closely without a word, gesture, or spoken command. Both of them had high-powered blaster rifles in their hands, although Steel had a lightsaber hilt at his belt. Kylo's hilt was on his belt as well, leaving his hands empty. If Nera had one, Finn hadn't seen it.

Finn gestured to Kaydel, who was in a Resistance field uniform and carrying an equipment pack. She had a blaster at her hip. "Go on behind them," Finn told her. "I'll take up the rear." He'd opted for the same uniform as herself, with Poe's old leather jacket for luck and a blaster rifle and a sidearm in case he wasn't lucky enough. What he wouldn't have given for stormtrooper armor, but it would have sent the wrong message (and anyway, the  _Restitution_  didn't have a set on board). He was supposed to be here as 'The Finn' and not a trooper. They'd leave it to Kylo to pass himself off as a First Order representative, if one was needed.

The children fled further long before Rey reached them. She stopped beside the tremor-ox, which regarded her placidly. When the others came abreast of her, she gestured at it. "It hasn't been here long. The tether is loose and …" Rey waved back at the single pile of droppings behind it. The creature wasn't in any distress, so they left it alone.

Finn moved down the street to the speeder bike crash. Steel and Nera followed him, guns ready. Finn crouched and pulled back the blanket on one of the bodies. A score or so of shiny, bulbous beetles scurried out, seeking safer shelter. Finn backed up with a grimace as a couple skittered under his feet. Nera was closer to him. One flew over to her black boot and disappeared up into a fold of fabric.

"Ayt!" she said in an alarmed rush. "Eh-tu, corphusant! Fichu, fichu! Ayt, ayt, ayt!" Her blaster rifle swung down like she was going to shoot something in his general direction – Finn, the corpse, the beetles still scurrying around, or maybe her own leg. It wasn't clear. Finn grabbed the muzzle of the weapon and thrust it skyward before they found out the hard way.

Steel went to a knee next to her leg and grabbed fabric. She made several more alarmed statements, babbling in some language Finn had never heard before. "Oh-two," Steel said and she held perfectly still other than an uncharacteristically heaving chest. Steel's hand was an inch or two off her leg. He drew it down and the beetle came with it, drawn out of her pant leg. It floated to his hand and he held the squirming creature up where she could see it. "Acha kal?" His fingers pressed together and its carapace crunched between them.

Steel tossed the dead insect on the ground. She stomped on it with vigor, then made an odd hissing noise at it and the other beetles. "Hhhthhh!"

Finn let go of the muzzle of her blaster and gave her a look. "I think that's the most I've ever heard you say."

"Aycka- Eh, they don't think but they move," she said.

"Okay." Finn supposed it was a good thing she didn't apply that logic to droids.

Finn turned back to the bodies. He looked at the corpse he'd exposed and then recovered it. He was more careful in lifting the blanket on the others. He stood as the rest of the group moved up. Nera had rotated to the rear for the moment. "Three adults," Finn announced. "Two female. One male. Two killed with a blaster rifle or something with a lot of punch. I don't know about the other." He didn't want to release another swarm of beetles. Disgusting as they were crawling around on the corpses, it was better there than having them running around madly on the ground.

Steel nodded at them. "Been dead long enough to attract carrion eaters. But someone's laid out the bodies, covered them up nice. They're trying."

"What's that building at the end?" Kylo asked Finn, directing his attention to an impressive edifice several blocks away.

"That's the arena," Finn said. "For demonstrations, games, that sort of thing. Used to do big team sports there, but those were banned."

"There are a lot of people there," Kylo said.

Finn looked. "I don't see any."

Rey nodded. "They're there. I sense them, too. We've been seen."

"Let's go see them, then," Kylo said, heading off in that direction. Rey walked next to him. Since the avenue was broad and basically clear, Steel took the left flank and Nera the right. Kaydel stayed in the middle with Finn at the rear. He saw a child of no more than six or seven scurry across the street back near the statues and the tremor-ox honked at them with its hoarse, booming voice, but saw nothing else of note.

At a block away from the arena, they could make out a half dozen mid-sized figures in the windows of the arena facade, looking down at them. Although none of them looked initially violent, one on the right dropped to a knee without warning and fired his rifle at them. Kylo caught the bolt in the air. A fraction of a second later, Steel shot their attacker and Nera started laying down covering fire across the other windows. The boy's body tumbled from the window and hit the pavement below with a sickening crunch.

"Left!" Finn shouted. "Go left!" They hadn't really talked about who was in charge of their little outing (he'd assuming Kylo or Rey), but he was gratified that everyone except Kaydel moved immediately in the direction he'd given. Kaydel was directly in front of him, staring at the blaster bolt that quivered in the air a dozen paces in front of her. She had been the target and from her perspective, it was a crackling orb instead of a frozen streak.

Finn grabbed her shoulder and shoved her along with him towards safety. A couple more shots were being fired at them haphazardly from the windows. Steel leaned out from beyond the building he was using for cover, took a long moment while a couple bolts buzzed past him, and dropped another shooter before stepping back behind the brick.

Kylo released the initial bolt, which slammed harmlessly into the pavement, streaking through the space Kaydel had been occupying when all this started. He looked at Steel as though the explosion punctuated some comment.

Steel pointed his blaster at the sky, looking at Kylo and huffing. "He tried to put a hole in her head," he said, gesturing at Kaydel. "If I wait until you stop a shot, I've waited too long and two of us are going to die instead of one." Kylo exhaled, looking annoyed but making no other response. Steel said, "You want to give me different rules here?"

"They're kids," Rey said. "He couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen and he's dead now because of an impulsive, rash decision. He didn't know what he was doing."

"He knew what would happen if he pulled that trigger," Steel said. "There's three dead folks right down the street. You can tell yourself you're certain they were shot by other adults, but I'm not buying it."

Kylo locked eyes with Finn. It took a beat before Finn realized he was being asked his opinion, or perhaps Kylo was even deferring to him. Finn had given a command earlier and they'd all followed it, after all. "We defend ourselves and each other," Finn said. "I know it's harsh. But we have to stay alive. We didn't come down here to die."

Steel's helmet swiveled to Kylo, then to Finn. "Yes sir," Steel said.

Just like that, Finn was in charge. "Okay," he said. "We're going around this block to keep the building between us and them. We can get closer on the side, then get up under the columns where they can't shoot us from the windows. Let's move."

They made it there, then approached the front doors under the cover of the arcade. They could hear shouts going on inside and from the gallery above as the news of their arrival spread. Kaydel said, "We need to find someone in command so we can talk. We're not going to shoot our way through this."

Rey stared down the front of the building at where the first shooter was collapsed on the edge of the street. From here, they could see the blood pooled under him from here and the unnatural set of his body. She swallowed roughly. "No. We're not going to shoot our way through this," she repeated hollowly.

"Yeah, no, that's not the idea." Finn cracked open the front door and yelled inside. "We're here to talk! Get someone out here to talk to us!" A blaster bolt slammed into the door. "Yeah, great," Finn muttered.

He looked back at his squad, taking odd comfort in seeing Steel and Nera – helmeted figures in battle armor. Even if their particular style was a far cry from that of troopers, there were enough similarities to ping that heavily conditioned part of his brain that coded them as teammates. His teammates. Kylo's outfit, too, had that ring of familiarity to it, despite not having a helmet.

"We're going to start controlling people," Kylo said. Rey glanced at him with a tight smile. She went to Kylo's side and took his hand. The people on this end of the building quieted down. Nothing else seemed to happen.

"Are they sending someone out?" Finn asked, looking back at Kylo and Rey.

"No," Kylo said. "But it's clear for us to go in. I didn't sense anyone who had a feeling of control or authority."

"It's clear?" Finn asked. "Did they fall back? Do you have them all … frozen up?"

"They fell back," Kylo said.

The moved to the door and went inside, passing through the cavernous entry area without opposition. It was dimly lit by narrow windows at the top of the arcade – no lights, power grid offline. Finn could see people (preteens, as far as he could tell) at the corners of the room, but they were distracted. Most of them were facing away or otherwise not looking at them. Finn panned his rifle across them, trying to figure out what they were doing clustered over there. They appeared to be quietly bickering with one another like they were lost.

"Don't fire," Rey said.

Finn shook his head in response. He wasn't going to shoot them. He had to assume this was some Force power. He led his squad through the entry and down a short hallway. He stopped them at the double doors at the end of it. "Other side of this is a curved gallery or something that goes around the arena." He'd been here enough times as a student and cadet to remember it. "Usually has booths and stalls along the walls. It's like that big room we just went through – no cover. Ready?"

Kylo stared at the door, then turned his eyes one way, then the other, like the doors weren't even there. "Ready."

Finn opened the door. All sounds of the alarm that they'd caused when they'd been outside seemed to have died. He hesitated at the door because there were scores of grimy-looking human children on either side, sitting on the gallery floor or moving amongst themselves. None were paying attention to them.

"Go," Kylo said softly.

Finn opened the door entirely. Kylo followed only a step behind. Not a head turned towards them. The kids, anywhere from four to ten in age, seemed absorbed with eating or talking in small groups. As they moved around, they consistently chose to move further away. Rey, Kaydel, and the knights followed Finn and Kylo out. Finn shouldered his blaster. Steel and Nera did not. Rey and Kaydel still had yet to draw theirs. Kylo's hands were empty.

"Whoa," Finn said softly, looking back and forth. "It's like they can't see us."

"Stop," Rey said, looking forward. Ahead of them were stairs up that led to the arena floor. These were closed, but there were other sets further down the galley that were open, letting sunlight stream in. Rey said, "They're in the arena."

"What?" Finn asked. "Who?"

"There's a leader of some kind approaching us," Rey said. Steel opened the door that had shut behind them and used it as cover. "He was alerted," Rey said.

"How do you know that?" Finn asked, but any answer was cut off by the double doors ahead of them opening.

A young man in defaced or perhaps ornamented white stormtrooper armor walked down several steps. He was not wearing a helmet, revealing himself as having he standard close-crop haircut of a stormtrooper, with light brown skin. He looked directly across the room at them. "Who are these people?" he asked loudly. The kids on either side of the curving chamber stopped what they were doing and looked around blankly. The guy yelled, "I said who are these people?" He pointed now, because so many didn't seem to understand who he was talking about. "How did they just walk in here?"

It was a good question, especially given that there had obviously been guards at the windows and an alarm of sorts had been sounded. Yet once Finn and squad had entered, no one seemed to care anymore. Now they cared all over again. The noise level in the room abruptly increased as everyone began talking and kids scrambled – some for weapons or to hide, but most to simply get away.

The young man took another step down the stairs and stopped. Both Nera and Steel had raised their rifles, taking aim on him. Kylo and Finn were shoulder-to-shoulder in the middle. Steel was back behind the door to the right, using it for cover. Rey was further right on the other side from Steel. Kaydel was behind Nera on the left.

"What'd you come here for? You those guys who landed?" The young man spoke with an exaggerated Outer Rim accent that was at odds with the normal Imperial accent he'd used just moments before.

"Your turn," Kylo said quietly to Finn. "Step ahead of me. I'll block anything that comes at you."

"Uh … thanks." He wondered if he could trust that, but Finn took a step forward anyway. No weapons were being pointed at him yet, but there were literally more than a hundred people around them. Even if they were nearly all half his age (or some even a quarter his age), as Steel had pointed out, they were able to pull triggers. He hoped none of the four year olds had blasters.

Kylo nudged him on the right side. "Directly in front of me. Step left."

"Okay," Finn glanced back at him and moved as directed. He couldn't imagine Kylo was being cowardly, but he was being oddly particular about the positioning. Finn faced ahead and loudly addressed his counterpart. "Yeah, we're the guys who just landed in the freighter. I'm Finn, former stormtrooper. We're here to get things back up and running." He glanced back and forth along the gallery, then back at the guy. "So you're not living in alleys and shooting people in the streets."

There was a tense moment and then a handful of kids came running forward, saying, "That's Finn!" Several score more followed them.

All Finn managed to do was look at them and worry about how to (and if he should) stop them from rushing him before the front line of kids were knocked on their backsides. Finn's brows shot up in surprise. The second wave of children reconsidered and backed off, milling in confusion, pointing and talking excitedly as they tried to work out why the others had fallen. The consensus seemed to be a tripwire.

Finn wanted to react to that, but the young man on the stairs turned to leave in a hurry, then tripped over a step and fell. He tried to catch himself, stumbled, and managed to lose his footing entirely. The young man came bumping and rolling down the stairs, armor clattering. It looked like very unfortunate clumsiness, but Finn had just seen some kids knocked down more overtly. He remembered Kylo Ren's pratfall off the TIE silencer and how Kylo had yanked Steel's feet out from under him. This was all the Force.

Finn laughed at the fall and took a few steps forward. "You okay there?" he called out to the young man, who was lifting his head and trying to work out which way was up. "Guess you should have had the helmet on." Finn looked around at the kids who were scrambling to their feet uneasily. "You guys okay, too? We can't have you rushing in like that. We need formation. Line drills. Like for class. You can do that, right?"

The group of kids milled around, pushing and accusing one another of not doing it right. The second wave of kids were moving in again, so instead of a few handfuls of them, there were now dozens.

But again, Finn was distracted by motion on the stairs. Three mid-teens and a woman came halfway down them towards the young man, who was now standing and looked about to head back up the stairs.

"Keep him here," Finn said behind him, not sure if Kylo Ren would follow his direction or not, but it didn't hurt to try. He took a few steps forward and found his third step made for him, moving him left so sharply he almost lost his balance at the unexpected shift. He desperately wanted to shoot a questioning look back, but stayed focused on the enemy ahead.

The young man stiffened, turned in place (or was turned), and went down on one knee in a standard kneeling position of submission. Finn's lips puckered at this confirmation that his orders were being followed. He took another step, then another, careful and slow. The third step directed him left again and Finn moved with it like it was intentional. He finally looked back, to see that he had been putting himself between Steel and the young man. Directly in Steel's firing line. Finn moved left and didn't have to deal with being Force-shoved out of the shot-line anymore.

He was nearly there by then, having walked past a handful of seven and eight year olds, at least one of which was holding a blaster ridiculously too large for her small hands. Several others had toy guns, but at least one of them was real. Finn glanced down at that, hoping like hell that his squad behind him kept him from getting shot in the back by some little girl.

"Are you the guy in charge here?" Finn asked, looking down at the involuntarily kneeling young man.

The guy was twitching as he tried in vain to break free. He was breathing hard and looked scared. One of his supporters on the stairs had a blaster out and pointed at Finn. Another drew hers and comically dropped it. It came rattling down the stairs.

"You guys need to stop this," Finn said, looking up at them and affecting fearlessness. "It's embarrassing. You know that, right?" The one was still pointing his weapon at Finn. It made Finn nervous, but he remembered the frozen blaster bolt and tried to ignore it. He looked down at the guy in front of him.

"I'm in charge," said the young man. "I was." The fake accent was gone.

"You were?" Finn asked.

"You are now. Sir." The young man swallowed. He stopped twitching and made a few abrupt motions with his hands. He wasn't being held telekinetically anymore. He half-rose, then changed his mind and sank back down. "Sir," he repeated, bowing his head.

"Alright. That's more like it." Finn looked up at the teen with the gun and the woman on the stairs. She was in her forties. "Is there anyone else here I need to talk to?" He looked down at the young man again. "Or is it just you?"

"Um, just …" The young man turned and looked up at her as well. She shook her head and backed up a step, wavering like she'd almost tripped. She shook her head again. The young man said, "No, it's just me."

"What's your name?" Finn asked.

"Jay- uh, Jerebea." A name. An actual name and not a designation, although Finn expected the designation had begun with J.

"Okay. Stand up," Finn directed. "Do you have somewhere that we can go talk?"

Jerebea nodded and got to his feet. "Outside. In the arena."

Finn frowned. He knew the arena – layer upon layer of stadium seating around a central, hard-surface field? With probably other kids and younglings in the stands, some armed, some not. He wasn't sure how many directions and individuals the Force-users with him could manage, but that seemed unnecessarily complicated. "Let's try something more private. You can have a few people with you if you want."

"Yeah, um," Jerebea said, "up near the main doors. The admitting offices. There?"

Finn nodded and started to turn. Several smaller kids came up around them, but then they scattered as Finn's squad moved up with an intimidating rattle of noise that exceeded how much they should have been making. But it ran the kids off and seemed to spook Jerebea.

"Wait. Oh-" Jerebea said. Finn turned back to see the man's hand was on his blaster, half-drawn. It seemed to have seized up there.

Finn's eyes widened, very aware he could have been shot in the back – distracted by kids, his own people, and the goal of heading back to the admitting offices. The young man's fingers splayed. The blaster smoothly lifted over to hang in the air in front of Finn. Finn plucked it with a frown, because he suspected there was a snide statement in presenting it to him like that. Something like 'hey, you missed this; don't forget to disarm your prisoner'. Also annoying was that he wasn't even sure who was using the Force like this, as no one was sticking a hand out in an obvious way.

"I was just going to hand that to you, sir." Jerebea claimed. He was looking between his hand (which had evidently been released because he could move it now) and the blaster in confusion. Then he looked past Finn at the people with him, focusing on the two helmeted figures. "Are those Knights of Ren?"

"Yeah," Finn said. "They are."

"Oh." He cringed. Their reputation obviously preceded them, but really, given how easy this was turning out to be, Finn couldn't blame him. It was scary how they'd just walked into the place, located the guy in charge, made him defenseless, and were now marching him off for interrogation. Finn had seen it before on Jakku with an entire village, so it wasn't like he didn't know it was possible. It was unsettling to have this much power at his beck and call.

Finn gave the guy another look, then turned, pushing Jerebea ahead of him as he did so he could keep an eye on him. They headed back to the main entry with Jerebea bracketed by Nera on one side, Steel on the other, and Finn behind him. Rey and Kaydel were in the rear, Kylo ended up in the front. Finn wanted to keep an eye on the Knights of Ren, too.

The admitting offices had been ransacked – every drawer open, every shelf empty, the floor cluttered with tools and desk ornaments and broken electronics. But there were a few seats. Jerebea sat in one. Finn sat on a desk in front of him and said, "Give me a situation report, soldier."

"Um, yes sir." The young man straightened. "Three days ago, Dean Preshan was … died, and-"

"Killed. Murdered," Kylo said. He was watching the man casually. Steel had taken up a defensive position at the door, looking out, rifle poised. Nera was leaning against the wall with her chin on her chest like this was a good time to take a nap. Rey was on the other side of the young man from Kylo. Kaydel was sorting through the damaged equipment.

"Um, yes," Jerebea admitted.

"By you?" Finn asked.

"No!" Jerebea shook his head with enough fervor that Finn would have guessed he was lying because it was over-the-top. But a glance at Kylo showed no response from him. Jerebea went on, "She was shot, yes, but it … she was killed and I took command of Primary Education District Four. I relocated them to the arena and have been organizing patrols through the city for … supplies."

"Looting?"

Jerebea hunched his shoulders and shifted his feet. "I didn't know what else to do."

"So you started looting?" Finn said in disbelief. "You look old enough to be a graduate. You know better."

"No," Kylo said softly. He shook his head. "You're not getting the whole story. They had a shortage of food at District Four. Preshan was shot by one of the children when she tried to ration what was left. He's looting for food."

The young man looked at Kylo with wide eyes. "You know all that?" He looked back to Finn. "Then why ask me?"

"Just wanted to see what you'd say," Finn said. "You can tell me the whole story, you know? You can trust us."

Jerebea looked over at Steel and grimaced.

"The First Order wants to get food shipments going again to take care of this," Finn said. "We just have to be sure no one's going to shoot down the transports and that things are organized down here so we can get it distributed to the people who need it."

Jerebea shook his head. "But you're Finn. We're not part of the First Order anymore. I thought you were going to help us make a deal with them. We won't go back to how it was before. We have weapons." The young man straightened, looking hopeful. "I know some of the others, the others. At other schools and districts, at the academies. They can fight. Not me. I've got just … little kids. But the  _others_."

Jerebea nodded at Finn, leaning forward, hope so clear on his features that it plucked at Finn's heartstrings. "Some of them have walkers and munitions and artillery. That's how we shut down the ports – no one in, no one out – but they left a few days ago so they could storm the last supremacist holdouts. That's when I brought the kids here to the arena."

"The others," Kylo said quietly, "are the ones who killed Governor Criden's cabinet. He was one of them. The rest have … dispersed." He tilted his head.

Jerebea looked up at Kylo in confusion, then his eyes flew wide as he looked at Kylo's black outfit. "You're one of the knights! Without a helmet!" He jumped from his seat, but there was nowhere to retreat to.

Finn looked at Kylo and smirked. "That's so ironic. You take your helmet off and no one recognizes you."

"He's reading my mind," Jerebea said, approaching his chair but not sitting in it. He stood behind it, with it between him and them. He looked to Finn. "I thought they were lying when they said you'd be with the First Order. That stuff about Kylo Ren. It was lies. But it's not?"

Finn glanced at Kylo with amusement. Even having identified Kylo as one of the knights, Jerebea still didn't seem to have realized that the one standing there was the one he was talking about.

Jerebea went on, "We killed the cabinet members in support of the supreme leader."

"Now he's lying." Kylo grunted.

"I'm … I'm …" Jerebea tapped his fingers uneasily on the sides of his legs. "It did … support the supreme leader. I mean, the cabinet sided with the High Command. But they committed treason when they killed Governor Criden. That's why we killed them. They'd taken the law into their own hands, so we did the same. We swore an oath to each other. Us. The ones who did it, who went to the governor's estate when they all got together. We swore an oath that we'd sacrifice ourselves for the greater good, but then there was no one to turn ourselves in to. There still isn't. I-" He shook his head and shrugged helplessly. "Most of us survived."

Kylo chuckled. Rey sighed. Finn looked at them and Rey said, "They thought it was a suicide mission that they'd fail at. Then they didn't die in a blaze of glory like they expected. They didn't know what to do afterward."

Kylo said. "He's telling the truth now."

Finn shook his head. "Okay. So who's in charge? Is it your people, the team that killed the cabinet?"

"No," Jerebea shook his head. "I mean, some of us are in charge of other groups. We're all trying to help. We're Traitors now. That's all we'll ever be. That's why …" He gestured at Kylo and Steel, as though Nera didn't exist anymore. "You'll have to execute me if you're really with Supreme Leader Ren." His eyes fixed for a long moment on the distinctive lightsaber clipped to Kylo's waist. "Is that Kylo Ren's lightsaber?"

"Yes," Kylo said.

Jerebea looked at him blankly. Then he took a longer look as his eyes narrowed slightly. Kylo met his gaze evenly. Finally, the young man said, "You're Kylo Ren!"

"Yes," Kylo said.

Finn started laughing. Jerebea looked from one of them to the other uncertainly. Finn shook his head. "No, it's okay. He is Kylo Ren. You're right. It's just, you know, it's funny no one recognizes the supreme leader. You recognize his lightsaber, the knights … but not him."

Kylo sighed. "I didn't spend my time projecting holos or posing for public relations images. I had other things to do. Aside from the crews of the  _Finalizer_  or the  _Supremacy_  and anyone I happened to train with elsewhere, no one knows what I look like. Your face, on the other hand, was broadcast to everyone, including bounty hunters."

Finn snickered, even at that. "But don't worry, we're not here to execute people," Finn said to Jerebea, wiping his eyes. He'd needed a good laugh. "We need some peace, though, so we can move around in the streets without getting shot at. Can you get in touch with the other … Traitors … and tell them I'm here? Will they believe you?"

"Yes." The young man tore his attention away from the weird reality of having the supreme leader standing here mind-reading him or whatever. He turned to Finn. "No one's in charge, though. We decided to let everyone else decide and we'd just help them do whatever it was. Like voting. Most of them want to follow you. They want to be free.

"The academies have been organizing to get rid of the loyalists and supremacists. That's why the artillery left. They're fighting every day now. Maybe we could ally with the supremacists?" He looked at Kylo Ren. "I mean, why would they fight you? Once we're all together, then the idea was the First Order would have to hear our demands. We still want to be part of the Order, um, Supreme Leader." He came to attention and saluted, only now realizing he'd totally botched showing proper respect, although on the other hand, it wasn't like he'd known at first.

Kylo made a dismissive gesture of acknowledgement. "At ease. Continue as you were."

Jerebea said to Kylo, "We just want things to be different, sir. But the Order hasn't answered us for a week now. We … didn't know you were coming."

"Oh," Finn said. "A week? You haven't heard anything?" That explained why the young man kept referring to Kylo as the current supreme leader.

"No, nothing," Jerebea said. "Uh, should I be calling you sir?"

Finn shook his head. "No. But I need you to get on the horn to the others."

Kaydel asked, "Where is your communication center? Nothing down here is working."

Jerebea pointed up. "The arena broadcast station. At the top. We still have battery power and I have a little fuel for the generators, so I can send a signal when I need to. The passive receivers are up, so if a signal was incoming, I'd hear it."

"Okay," Finn said, "you've got to tell as many as you can to stop attacking the other academies and set something up so we can go talk to the supremacists. They'll be the easiest for us to get on our side."


	22. Catapult

"General Dameron? The Ark facility is under attack. We are under-" Kaydel flinched involuntarily in the co-pilot's seat as the first TIE in the formation swept by, raking them with shots. The freighter's shields were pitifully weak, more intended for dust storms and debris than warding off actual fire. But the hull seemed to have absorbed it for now. Every such hit was a chance of blowing out something critical (or worse, punching through and hitting a person).

Finn bailed out of the pilot's chair, letting Kylo slide in. A second fighter swept by to the right, shooting up a row of outbuildings. Thankfully, there were still things on the ground they wanted to destroy other than them.

"Strap in," Kylo said to her. "Finn, hang on to something. We're leaving hot."

"'Kay."

For a couple long seconds, nothing happened aside from Kylo tilting his head slightly like he was listening for something. Then he shoved forward the accelerator and the freighter leapt off the ground with more kick than she would have imagined the engines could provide. She was slammed back in her seat. Something exploded behind them. The craft wobbled and skewed as blaster shots streaked past, barely missing. Finn made a strangled yell and from somewhere down the hallway, Steel cursed Kylo's piloting skills.

The acceleration continued, building, pushing, shoving them into the sky with continuous small adjustments in course as a handful of shots streaked harmlessly past them. She was starting to wonder how and why a standard freighter could accelerate this much when Kylo started flipping switches, killing the engines. He waved a hand at a console near her and three switches flipped. All power to the craft died. They were transformed from a ship into a formed metal projectile, slowly losing momentum as it arced upward.

If she hadn't been able to see the pilot right next to her looking so unbothered, she would have been terrified as they coasted in free fall. She wanted to say something, ask something, but she didn't dare distract him. The headset for the communication system floated up from the bracket. The engines were silent, as was the gun in the back – no power at all, anywhere. Kylo leaned forward, looking out the view port, like he had all the time in the world. They started to nose down. Again, he said, "Finn, hang on."

Finn grunted. Kylo worked the controls, reversing the process. The engines coughed back to life. The gun took a few careful shots. The ship listed suddenly to port, then kept going in a tumble that seemed just an extension of their previously powerless state. Then the engines began pouring on thrust with the usual deep rumble. Poe's voice came out of the console next to Kaydel, but it was scrambled and she was in no position to tune it in.

"Are we-" Finn said, fighting not to be rolled around in the ship like a rag doll as it flipped and twisted in the air. "Is this thing- Agh!" They leveled out as two TIE fighters careened by, shots from the freighter's guns blazing at them and missing. The fighters veered off to either side, unharmed.

"Freighters can't fly like this!" Finn got out. All of their previous flights with Kylo at the controls had been boring, sedate hops that the autopilot could have managed. But no one had ever been shooting at them before. Kaydel had to agree with Finn – this was not a heavily modified smuggler's ship, and yet it was somehow maneuvering better than the TIE fighters that were trying to pin it down. It didn't even have the capability to pull some of the jukes it was going through now with a third round of feints, slips, and white-knuckle rolls.

Then they shot upward in another prolonged, stomach-dropping surge. The guns fired a couple last times, then silence. The atmosphere thinned in front of them, but the g-forces against them did not relent as they continued accelerating at the top edge of the engine's ability. The ship vibrated slightly. It was almost a hum. Kaydel held her breath because that was a very, very bad sign on a spaceship. Something, somewhere, was out of calibration and being pushed so hard it was threatening to fly apart. Then all fell to a normal, quiet tone as everything eased back into the recommended operating range.

Kylo stood up. He'd never even bothered to strap in. "We're clear."

Finn swallowed roughly and panted. "Okay," he said in a weak voice. "Next time, I think I'm going to find a seat somewhere." He touched the back of his head, coming away with blood.

Kylo looked at him. "Can I touch your mind?"

"Huh?" Finn looked up at him blankly.

Kylo stared back, but with more intensity. "I'm doing it anyway."

Finn said, "What? Why?"

Kaydel looked over at them. "What are you doing?" She wasn't sure what she was would do if he were doing something … inappropriate. Or how she'd tell.

Steel, wearing his helmet now, came to the doorway with a first aid kit. "You asked for this?"

Actually, he hadn't. Or at least not that Kaydel had heard. Poe was saying something on the communication channel again, a question, but she repeated herself more loudly to Kylo Ren. "What are you doing to him?"

Kylo handed the kit back to Steel and looked over his shoulder at her to answer. "He has a concussion. He can't consent. I was checking if it was his only injury." To Steel he said, "It is. Stop the bleeding on the scalp wound and have him lie down. He'll be fine."

"'Course," Steel said, turning to Finn. "You with me?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Finn said woozily. "Why are you wearing your helmet?"

"So I don't crack my skull when flyboy there gets carried away," Steel said, digging out an absorptive pad and putting it against the back of Finn's head. "Hold that there," he said as Finn reached up to touch it. Steel guided him off the bridge and back to a bed.

Kylo started to leave, but then paused to look at Kaydel, who was looking from him to Finn. She wasn't sure if she needed to be suspicious or not. The mistrust must have been clear on her face, because he said, "You can have Rey check him if you want."

"I will," she said, knowing the answer he really wanted to hear was 'no, that's alright, I trust you'. He swallowed, frowned, and walked away. No one was in the pilot's seat. Somewhere below them were TIE fighters – space-worthy ships – that could at any time decide they were worth chasing. It was recklessly irresponsible to simply walk off from his station. She turned back to the communications console, letting Poe know they were on course to rendezvous with the  _Restitution_. He acknowledged.

When she clicked it off, the ship was quiet enough that she could hear conversation echoing up from the hallway. But peculiarly, she was only hearing Rey's side of it.

"I was thinking I might as well fix it since it's just a stuck limiter. Can you hand me that spanner? Yes, that one." Where there should have been the dialogue of the other side of the conversation, there was a silence that had Kaydel's ears straining. But all she heard was Rey a few moments later, saying, "Yes, I heard it, too." A moment or two after that, "Give me that can of oil there." Then laughter. "Grease monkey? I am not a grease monkey!"

"Or a hot sand- Oh my! Kylo Ren!" There was a sharp noise like someone being struck, then Kaydel finally heard Kylo making a sound. He was laughing in a low, throaty chuckle. Rey continued, "Don't you ever say that out loud about me!" She was trying to sound scandalized, but it was hard while she was laughing, too. "You shouldn't even be thinking something like that! That's  _dirty_! Where did you get such a filthy mind? Oh my stars!"

"Mmm," Kylo hummed happily, but if he was answering verbally, Kaydel didn't hear it. She didn't want to be eavesdropping, but the lack of words from him (she'd by now figured out his side was probably telepathic) was irritating. She could hear Rey, so why was he being so rude as to not speak aloud? Also, why were they carrying on like that and making repairs in the middle in a combat zone?

"Yeah, right," Rey said. "I think I have it fixed now. What do you think?"

Steel's footsteps sounded down the hall. "What are you guys doing? You cut me out of the loop all of a sudden. What are you doing lying on the floor?"

Kylo snorted. "I'm flirting. I don't want you in my head during that. She's in the crawlspace. This is as close as I can get."

"How do you know how to flirt? I've been around you for years," Steel said. "It's not your skill set. And why do you need to be close to her? She's right there."

Kylo snorted. "What do you think I'm doing right now? If she likes it, then I'm doing it right. Go on. You're being jealous."

"Yeah, kriffing right, I am! Why are you even still flirting though? She's already into you. You're together. And you're  _lying on the floor_ , ya weirdo." Rey and Kylo both laughed. All of them seemed in good humor about the exchange.

Kaydel frowned as she watched the scanners for enemies. So far, things were remaining clear.

Kylo said, "Go to the bridge, Steel. Call me when we're a minute or two out from the ship so the autopilot doesn't run us into it."

"Yes, I know," Rey said, apparently to Kylo, after Steel tramped off. "Is it working now?"

Steel came onto the bridge. His helmet was off. His hands were bloodstained. While Kaydel knew it was Finn's and honorably acquired, it bothered her that he hadn't noticed or washed. She'd seen similar carelessness from him over the last couple days. The level of callousness and insensitivity from him was repulsive at times, and all the more unsettling because of the occasional kindness he showed.

It was like his default setting was a brute, but he knew better and just couldn't be bothered to keep at it. He was jealous; he admitted it; but it didn't seem to mean anything. Was it dangerous? Or just harmless teasing? She didn't know and couldn't gage. He ignored her, looking at the sensors and then sighing, staring out at space.

There was nothing to distract from Rey's ongoing, one-sided conversation. "Can you take these?" There was a clatter of metal and movement. "Yeah?" "Why not?" "We could …" There was more metal shifting and a few thumps. Rey snorted and laughed. "Oh really? That wouldn't be an inappropriate use of the Force, would it?" she asked sarcastically. "I remember that time you said we could do things through the Force bond. I knew exactly what you meant. You don't fool me." Kylo laughed a couple times.

"What? What do you mean?" Rey's voice had turned concerned. "Of course, I'd be willing! Why would anyone use the Force- Oh." Her voice changed again to distaste. "That's not what I meant." "No, it's not your fault. It's not depressing. I just … wasn't thinking." "Don't be sorry."

"We can hear you guys," Steel said in a normal tone. Then he grumbled, "That's a lot less fun to listen to than the flirting." There was silence from the hallway now.

For a while, there was silence on the bridge as well. Kaydel, like anyone with an imagination, had been trying to piece together the other side of the conversation, especially the part at the end. She didn't like what she was concluding.

She looked over at Steel and asked, "Why didn't you just leave?" He looked at her blankly. She elaborated, "From Snoke? There were seven of you. I've heard Kylo Ren's more powerful than even Luke Skywalker. All of you together had to have been stronger than Snoke. If he was that bad, if he was … taking advantage of some of you like that, then why didn't you leave?"

His eyes scanned over her face. His expression hardened by degrees. It was cold and loathing by the time he spoke. "Mind your own kriffing business," he said, his voice dripping with contempt and threat.

Kaydel's nose wrinkled. She'd seen a lot of things working for Leia – war, suffering, corruption, and worse – but she'd never been inclined to shy away from the possibility of harm. Rather, his threatening behavior got her back up rather than run her off. She hated bullies. "It is my business. You're part of the Resistance. I want to know why you stayed. Is it because some of you liked it?" she accused.

"Yeah," Steel said, a slow sneer in his voice and on his face. "We loved it. Every one of us. Couldn't get enough of it." In an even colder voice, he snarled, "We're not part of your Resistance, either, so fuck off!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That exchange from Kaydel at the end is the standard refrain of every asshole ever who asks someone in an abusive relationship why they don't just leave. Steel has never had to confront anything like that, but now he has.
> 
> Also, Rey was deliberately missing the various fighters who were firing on the freighter - careful shots designed to make them dodge and veer off, not to shoot them down and kill people. (Although whether this saves lives in net is unclear, as those fighters will likely go strafe people on the ground once the freighter leaves.)


	23. Imposter Syndrome, solved

**A/N: Lightsaber color change is a progression of the intentional, canon shift from TFA to TLJ.**

"We will only follow the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren!" shouted the leader of the self-labeled 'Sith Supremacists', or rather, what was left of them after a vicious three-day assault. He stood before a crowd in the grand hall the academy. They cheered in agreement with him, defiant and angry no matter how many they'd lost. As a military academy, the facility had older students and much more discipline. Everyone was armored and armed. Ranks and insignia were correct. Even if many were bloody or dirty, Kylo could glance over them and immediately identify who was in command.

The dean of this particular school was the loud one in front, dressed in white to designate him as an officer-grade technician. Somewhere around here should have been a black-clad Army brigadier general or a colonel, but Kylo hadn't been able to pick them out mentally. He had to assume they'd been killed in the last three days. They'd lost so many, and so stupidly. The stench outside had been nauseating.

He walked forward. It seemed like the easiest way to settle this. "I am Kylo Ren and I'm telling you stand down and acknowledge the legitimate authority of the First Order, under Grand Marshal Hux and with myself as his representative!"

Kylo was playing fast and loose with the titles. He was not empowered to represent Hux, but neither was he going to lie to these people about being the current supreme leader. Hux was unlikely to object to the first if Kylo used it to cement the Order's control, but the latter was fomenting rebellion. Their attempts to explain the political situation over a comm link had been rejected, which was why they were here in person. Kylo preferred that anyway.

There was a buzz in the crowd. The dean shouted, "You're not Kylo Ren! You're just some black cloak who showed up with the Resistance!" There was some jeering from others in the gathering, including 'Kylo Ren wears a mask!' and 'Imposter!' Maybe his assessment of their discipline had been inaccurate.

"This again," Kylo muttered. But louder, he said, "I. Am. Kylo. Ren." He stomped to the side, snapping on his lightsaber. It crackled and spat. "You doubt me?" Steel and Nera stepped up to flank him. They, at least, looked the part of Knights of Ren.

The crowd was quieter, but anyone could stand around holding a lightsaber. Assuming they had one. One that happened to look very much like Kylo Ren's, just much lighter in color. It was mostly white and only red around the edges of the blade. It gave them pause as they considered the knights plus the lightsaber as identifiers. "Where are the rest of the knights?" said what amounted to a heckler.

"Elsewhere, or dead." Kylo looked at the dean. He extended his left hand, letting his right, with the saber, fall to the side. Using the Force, he lifted the man from the ground nearly to the ceiling. That won more over than the lightsaber, drawing gasps and shouts from the people.

He drew the man forward through the air, letting him hang suspended a handful of paces away. Kylo studied him as the man's arms and legs scrambled uselessly in the air. The man could breathe, and he was making noises, but too startled to say anything more articulate than "What?", "How?" and "Help!"

"Mando Danoval," Kylo addressed him loudly, having pulled the name from his mind, though he vaguely remembered it from their review of the planet. The man was not a product of the Empire. He was younger, having been put in the position by Hux. Kylo selected some basics of the man's identity that were nearly impossible to know without telepathy. "Youngest of four brothers. Elder of two sisters. And sibling to an infant whose gender your mother never revealed to you, dead before a week of age.

"You walked into one of our earliest slave harvesters on your own, wishing to relieve your family of the burden of feeding you. Very noble, you thought at the time and you have carried that feeling with you all your life – that being here is a sacrifice you have made for the benefit of others. Today, Mando, I have another sacrifice for you to make."

Kylo dropped the man to the ground, where he landed roughly. "Stand!" Kylo commanded. The man did, but it was something the Force compelled of him. He looked frightened to have his limbs work on their own, without input from him. Kylo brought around the lightsaber, the angry, snarling blade extended between them at arm's length. It pointed at the man's chest. "Step forward!"

"No! No!" The man shouted, but stepped forward anyway – one pace. He had only two more before the end of the laser sword was against or within him.

"Step forward!" Kylo called again. The crowd, which had fallen silent, began to murmur in concern and alarm.

"Nooo! Stop, don't-" But he stepped forward anyway. The blazing end of the weapon was no more than a pace away.

Kylo raised it higher, from chest level, to that of the man's eyes. He looked down the long, bright blade at him, judging the distance and watching very closely. "Step forward." He said it more calmly now, like a teasing invitation. Behind him, Finn and Kaydel shifted uneasily. Rey and the knights had faith. The crowd on the opposite side held their breath.

The man whimpered. He arched his back as much as possible, leaning away. But he stepped forward. Had he stood straight, the blade would have been inside his skull. His hands were raised defensively to his sides, but there was nothing they could do. "No, no. You're Kylo Ren. Yes, you're him."

"Shout it," Kylo snarled.

"He's Kylo Ren! I believe it! He is! Kylo Ren!"

Kylo looked at the crowd, which seemed to sigh a collective exhalation of relief. Finn made a happy murmur behind him. "You have heard?" Kylo yelled at the crowd. They made noises of assent. "Then silence!" His voice boomed unnaturally, augmented by the Force. The man in front of him flinched and wavered and nearly lost his balance. The sword remained in front of him. He cried out as he accidentally burned the side of his nose on the sword's end before leaning away again.

Kylo looked down his blade at the man, his voice remorseless. "Mando Danoval? Step forward."

The man's eyes widened in terror, fixed on Kylo's face rather than the blade. That instrument of death was too fearsome to look on at this range. The crowd inhaled all at once. Behind him, Finn said, "No!" But anything the former stormtrooper might have done was too late. The dean stepped forward. As he did, Kylo pulled back the blade and clicked it off.

The silence, by itself, seemed deafening. Released from the command of the Force, the man fell to his knees and knelt, forehead to the ground at Kylo's feet. He sobbed in relief. Kylo clipped the lightsaber hilt back to his belt. "Does anyone else doubt me?"

The silence stretched on, broken only by muffled sounds from the man on the ground. Several in the front knelt in the standard fashion, not as abject as Mando, but what was appropriate in the Order – one knee down, spine straight, face forward. The expression of respect (and fear – mostly fear) was contagious. It swept through the crowd quickly until finally, even most of the brave stand-outs took a knee. A few remained stubbornly standing even in the face of this. Kylo ignored them. He had the vast majority doing what they were supposed to.

"Rise, Dean Danoval," he said quietly, addressing him with his title to make sure the man didn't think it had been stripped from him. Kylo's voice didn't carry to the crowd, but the people on his side probably made out what he said. The man stood on shaky feet, under his own will. He touched at the burn mark on his nose. Lightsaber wounds were self-cauterizing. Only a few drops of blood stained his white uniform.

Kylo told him, "You _are_  noble. This small sacrifice of your dignity has saved lives today. I know you fear that going with the slave harvester was selfish and cowardly. But I see your heart. I could not have made you take those steps unless you were also very brave and willing to die for others. Don't forget that."

"I will not, sir." The dean nodded deeply.

"Go. Convene a panel for us to speak with. This rebellion is at an end."


	24. War Zone

**A/N: The group meets with some other schools/groups/academies between last chapter and this one. Nothing all that significant happens there.**

Rey stopped at the bottom of the ramp, looking up at Kylo. He had his fists on his hips, cape fanned out behind him, legs spread, chest out, head up, and a decidedly disgruntled expression on his face. She watched him as he looked this way and that as though there was a faint stink in the air he didn't approve of. Steel and Finn came up behind her. Steel's helmet was off as he'd just come back from breakfast. Kylo was blocking the ramp so all three of them stood there and looked at him.

He noticed them, worked his mouth somewhat, and came sashaying down in that odd, predatory slink of his. He stepped off the ramp and out of the way. "Did you need something?" he asked when the three of them simply looked at him for being, well, a Skywalker.

Rey couldn't answer for the others, but for herself, she shook her head. "No. I was just admiring your power pose. It's very striking." She smiled in amusement, because he'd looked very masculine doing that. Very in charge. Very unnecessarily dramatic. He looked like the kind of man who could be the supreme leader of the galaxy, or the inheritor of a majestic Force dynasty. Or both. And be somewhat silly at the same time.

Kylo brushed off her comment as well-intended sarcasm. "There's something wrong. Can you feel it?"

Finn and Steel had started up the ramp, but Steel doubled back fast enough that Finn hesitated and then came back as well.

Rey tilted her head and thought about it. "I'm not sure."

"Take my hand," Kylo said. "I'll show you."

She did and their combined sensitivity to the Force showed her what he was sensing. It felt like a wave of water, or the swell of wind that came before a dust storm. It hadn't reached them yet and there was more than one wave to it. It wasn't the storm itself, just a wave. Like … sentiment, maybe? Opinion? People's feelings were changing? Something was going to happen. She could sense that, but whatever was going to happen wasn't overwhelming. It was just … an event. Or maybe a probability.

She pulled her hand from his after more than a minute of trying to figure it out. "I don't know. I feel it, too, though."

Kylo pursed his lips in a dissatisfied fashion. He looked at Steel, who was at the end of the ramp, watching him sharply. "There you go, Steel. I've had a feeling. Not the worst I've ever had, but not good. Now what? How is that useful to you?"

"You mean," Steel said, "you've got a bad feeling about this?"

Kylo snorted. "Yes. My father said that too often. It's a feeling about  _something_ , but I don't know what. It didn't come with instructions. You accused me before of not doing the right thing because I wasn't paying attention to my feelings. Well, I've had a feeling. I'm paying attention to it. Now what? How does this help anyone?"

"Uh," Steel said, "you've tried searching your feelings, right?" He was teasing, mostly. It was an old joke between them.

"Yes," Kylo said testily. "Most of the Jedi tropes are useless!" He paced uneasily. "The Sith ones tend to be more practical, at least."

"I don't know that getting yourself worked up is going to help," Steel said. "If being frustrated gave a person power, well, things would be a bit different for me."

Rey offered, "Let's find somewhere quiet and check in on the other knights, Poe, Hux, maybe a few other people. And just see how they're doing."

Kylo sighed. "Yes, let's do that."

XXX

The bombing began as soon as the two most powerful Force users present were entirely absorbed in sensing people on far-flung planets, because of course it did. Kylo and Rey were sitting cross-legged in a private room, facing one another, knees touching, holding hands, their awareness lost in the mists of Dagobah. Stone temples were built on a long ridge, one after another and interconnected, rich in the history of the Force. Caspire and Tark had made it here. Kylo and Rey slowly focused in on them, trying not to miss any possible dangers on the swamp planet.

Instead, something pressed over their hands back on Lanson Down, a creepy, invasive feeling that blotted out the green, humid world they'd been immersed in. Kylo yanked his hand away from the intruder, raising it with the idea of making some kind of attack with the Force – a shove or a choke. Rey's awareness of their local surroundings snapped back at the same point Kylo's did. It was Steel with his helmet on, facing Kylo.

Kylo blinked and lowered his hand. "What is it?" He was still holding Rey's other hand, so she could clearly read his thoughts that Steel wouldn't have interrupted them lightly. Noise and concussion rattled the door behind him, explaining better than anything that could have been said.

"That," Steel said. "We're being shelled and there are TIE fighters incoming." Steel went to the door and looked back. "I guess we found out what that feeling meant!" he said. From the sound of his voice, he was grinning. He opened the door.

Outside was the beginnings of chaos. The team was at Arkanis Memorial Technical School for Advanced Robotics, or more simply, 'the Ark'. They'd concluded things in what amounted to the capital city, then addressed most of those calling themselves the Sith Supremacists. After that, they'd started making the rounds of schools and academies affiliated with the Traitors, with the assumption that the few Command Loyalists would fall into line as soon as news from abroad made it through to them.

But something had happened overnight that changed the mix. Rey deflected an incoming mortar as the three of them hustled their way across the courtyard where their freighter was parked and made it to what cover was provided by the main building. Unlike the academies, the Ark was not fortified as a military facility. The far end of the building was already rubble.

"Did you see that?" Rey said, momentarily pleased with herself. It exploded harmlessly in a nearby open field. But no one seemed to notice.

"Back outside!" Kylo said as they reached the entrance to the main building the Ark. They were nearly being bowled over by teenagers who had made a different decision – that staying inside the largest target in the complex was unwise. Once clear, Kylo stopped, nostrils flaring. TIE fighters screamed overhead, bolts streaking into buildings and people. It was fast becoming a war zone. One problem inherent with mixing it up with military academies was that they tended to have plenty of arms and equipment, along with lots of people trained in using them. The Ark had no such weaponry, but their enemies obviously did.

"That freighter's a target," Steel said. The engines on it were beginning to shed light, so someone was inside running a startup routine. "Where's Nera?"

Or Finn or Kaydel, but those two weren't Steel's first priority. Rey found all three of them using the same sensing power she'd picked up from Kylo. "They're all on the freighter."

"Let's get out of here," Kylo said, striding towards their ship at a quick, but reasonable pace.

"We're just leaving everyone?" Rey asked, keeping up.

He fired off his reasons quickly: "Too many combatants. Too many victims. I can't tell what's going on. People close to me are in danger. We pull out!"

Rey looked back, seeing a AT-ST walker coming into view in the distance, through the smoke rising from the main building. Another pass by the TIEs had a third of the building destroyed. Thirteen and fourteen year olds were scrambling away in every direction. Some few fired into the sky, but most were unarmed.

Droids rolled and scampered through the debris. Teaching kids to repair droids and related automated devices was the main function of the Ark. But the First Order didn't arm droids. They were simply machines, following their programming to keep themselves intact. They were even less able than the kids to defend themselves.

"They're going to die," Rey said, stopping at the base of the ramp.

"Only if they make a stand," Kylo told her. "They're safest if they scatter. It will take foot troops to … Oh. There they are."

She followed the mental projection of his attention and felt the transports coming in. What he'd meant was that it would take the presence and action of foot soldiers to kill any significant number of fleeing kids. Right on time, such had appeared.

"Rey?" Kylo said. She could also sense his growing apprehension that she'd do something foolish like run out and fight. She wanted to. Her body thrummed with the impulse.

It was Finn's voice that tipped the scales. He yelled from inside the freighter, "Get inside! I need a pilot! Those fighters are coming back for another pass!" Steel had already gone to the top of the ramp, but was waiting to see if Kylo followed. And probably Rey. She'd noticed she was treated as one of them: an honorary knight. Rey hissed and ran inside, rushing to the gunner's chair as Kylo headed to the front.


	25. Soft Prejudice

Kaydel stayed after the debriefing on the  _Restitution_ , signaling General Dameron. "What's up?" he asked her.

"I would prefer to be removed from the return mission."

"Okay. Why? What happened?"

"I …" She hesitated. There was so much to say and she, despite all her years at Leia's side, her training and experience, didn't know how to put it into words that didn't make her sound either intolerant or cowardly. She didn't feel she was either. After all, it was objectively true that these people were violent, volatile, unpredictable, dangerous, insensitive, and brutish. They were unreadable (Nera) or too brash (Steel) or just a bit too polite and proper most of the time (Kylo) in ways that slipped and she was sure was a manipulative act. They were over-sexualized in Kylo's case (who was too open in his affection for Rey by far) or suspiciously devoid of it in Nera's (yet possessing powers developed solely for the purpose).

Even taking them as individuals didn't help. Steel had coldly and efficiently shot down two children on her behalf, and literally couldn't be bothered to keep people's blood off his hands. Nera, she'd decided, was not walking around doing nothing. The people they ran into were often too compliant, or confused, or didn't see them at all. Her powers seemed to stem from the mental side of the Force and Kaydel suspected, strongly, that Nera had been reading her mind. Yet she didn't know how to complain about that to Poe. He'd thanked Kylo for not doing it, but never forbidden it outright.

Then there was Kylo. The more she saw him in action, the more she was … deeply concerned … about the range of his power. Had he even needed engines in the freighter at all? How much of this was for show? She'd seen him toy with people – forcing them to kneel or walk forward toward their own impending death. If he realized how cruel he was, she hadn't seen it. It had been implied that he could mind control masses of people at once – perhaps even the entire planet? Then why was anyone else even here?

And what was going on with Rey? Did she have her own mind? Kaydel didn't know, but she did know that Rey supported Kylo's poor social adjustment by coddling him whenever he became upset. Rey covered for him. On the other hand, Poe seemed to approve. He'd encouraged it. Time after time, Poe Dameron had shrugged his shoulders at the misbehavior of these three and looked the other way. There was nothing she could think of to explain her thoughts, so she repeated, "I don't want to go on the mission with them. I don't feel safe."

"Not safe? What happened? What did they do?" Poe looked very concerned.

She shook her head. "It's not that. I would prefer to be excused from the mission."

"You're not going to tell me what they did?" Poe pressed.

"It's … I don't feel safe with them." Maybe that was the core of it. Maybe they were just so different in capability and approach that she didn't understand or didn't share a frame of reference (Finn seemed fine with them, but he was a former stormtrooper; and Rey did, but Rey had the Force and Kaydel wasn't sure that a Force 'bond' didn't involve some manner of 'bondage').

Around normal people, Kaydel felt competent and confident. Around them, she felt fragile and inadequate – an extra team member, tacked on just so Poe had someone he could trust to stay in touch and keep tabs on them. She'd nearly died on their first encounter with the enemy, her mortality buzzing in the air in the form of a trapped blaster bolt. Even though they'd stopped it, even though she knew it was totally irrational, she still blamed them for that moment of fear. Why hadn't they acted sooner? Why had two children had to die for her?

"Or," Poe tipped his head forward, letting his voice become quieter, "you  _can't_  tell me what they did. Is that it?"

"No," she shook her head, knowing he was implying they'd mind-controlled her. She was fairly certain that had not happened. "I just don't want to be on a mission with them. I don't want to work with them. At all."

"Okay," he went back to normal and took a moment to think. "Well, I don't want to assign anyone to go downplanet who hasn't been to the meetings. That leaves me and Captain D'Acy. It's her ship. But the good thing is, this boat practically pilots itself now that we're in orbit. I don't have any problem getting someone else on the bridge to do a little steering. How about I go down with them?"

"Thank you, sir." Maybe after he'd been out with them for a while, she'd be able to sit down and explain herself. But for now … she just couldn't.

He studied her features for a long moment, then said, "Okay, we'll do that."

* * *

Poe found the group at the freighter, restocking and doing repairs. He paused outside to look at the scorch marks on the hull. Kylo came out carrying a bag of trash. He stopped to follow Poe's eye-line.

"Took a few hits, huh?" Poe asked.

"Those were when we were on the ground," Kylo said.

"Did you take others in the air?" Poe asked.

"No."

Poe nodded. "Scanners showed a lot of fighters down there." He nodded his head at the half-melted black marks, which looked superficial from where he was standing. "Did you take any real damage?"

"No. The recirculating pump stuck open shortly after take-off. Pressure spiked. I had to kill power and restart to get it shut and then throttle manually until we leveled off."

Poe started to give a slow nod, then his brows drew together. "In that order?"

"Yes."

"You were in the air and did a full engine restart?"

"Yes."

Poe chuckled. "That's dangerous. Can be done, I know - if you have the altitude, don't think you'll go into a fatal spin, don't need to maneuver, and you're willing to bet your and your crew's lives on the engines kicking back on like they're supposed to." Kylo shrugged. Poe asked, "How do you throttle that manually?"

"Very carefully."

"With the Force, you mean?"

Kylo shrugged again. "It's easier to manipulate a limiter valve than float the entire ship at velocity."

"Well, we'll need to fix that pump before this thing goes anywhere," Poe said.

"Rey already did."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she did," Kylo said dreamily. "She's good at fixing things."

Poe nodded. "Okay. Let's get everyone together, though. I want to talk to you guys. Finn, too." Kylo nodded and finished disposing of the trash first.

Poe went into the cargo hold of the freighter. The others followed. Rey and Nera were already inside, topping off the munitions as far as he could tell. Poe waited until they were all paying attention. "Kaydel's not going back with you." He glanced around, but no one's expression changed, other than to register mild surprise. Notably, he saw no guilt. "She said she didn't feel safe with you and she wouldn't tell me why. I need to know. What happened?"

Poe looked at Rey first, who glanced at Kylo and scolded him, "Don't lie!"

"I didn't even say anything," he said, "yet."

Poe raised his brows, but Kylo looked more amused by her than embarrassed or guarded.

A moment of silence passed. "And use words," Rey said, exasperated.

"We were only discussing which it might be," Kylo responded, now acting irritated.

Poe relaxed. He wasn't getting the shame, defensiveness, or duplicity he would have expected had anything truly awful happened. Nera was unreadable as always. Finn looked baffled. Rey hadn't volunteered anything and Poe was confident she would have had something happened. Steel looked distracted, as well he probably was if Kylo was talking to him telepathically. "Tell me both of them. Or all," Poe said. "Whatever you think it might be."

Kylo took another moment, during which Poe counseled himself to patience. After gathering his thoughts, Kylo said, "I flew evasively. During it, Finn hit his head. He had a scalp laceration and a concussion."

Poe glanced over at Finn. "You didn't mention that in the debriefing."

Finn shrugged. "Just a bump."

Kylo continued, "When our flight stabilized, I could see he was bleeding. I asked him if I could look into his mind. He did not give me a coherent response, so I did it anyway and I told him, aloud, that I was doing it. Kaydel was in the co-pilot's chair. She questioned what I was doing. Steel arrived with a first aid kit that I'd asked him for. I gave a diagnosis, then directed him in treatment and moved on. As I was going to leave, Kaydel questioned what I'd done, again, louder. I told her she could have Rey check him if she wished. She said she would. I left."

"I didn't hear that," Rey said.

"You were getting into the pump compartment at the time," Kylo said.

"I heard it," Steel said.

Finn shrugged and looked at Steel. "Was that when you had your helmet on?"

"Yeah."

"Oh," Finn nodded. "I remember the helmet. Not much else."

"You got more than a little bump there, Footy," Steel told him.

If Finn cared about being called that, he didn't show it, so Poe shrugged and turned to Kylo to say, "Okay. None of that sounds like a big deal. Why did you mention it?"

"You asked," Kylo said, an edge to his voice.

"Yes, I know." Poe softened his tone a little. "She said she didn't feel safe and you thought that exchange might be part of it. It sounds to me like normal crosstalk except for that thing you said, that she was louder the second time. Was she upset? Were there emotions? Were you reading her mind?" Poe flashed his hands up in surrender. "I don't mean that offensively. I know you haven't been doing that to anyone but your own people, but this was on a mission. Maybe different?"

"Not different," Kylo said, letting the edge bleed out of his voice. "She was suspicious of me. I was short with her. I don't know how she felt about it."

"Okay," Poe said. "What else happened?"

Steel said, "She almost got her head taken off by a blaster the first day."

Kylo shook his head. "I don't think that's it."

Poe said, "The time that you mentioned in the debriefing?" Steel nodded. "She's been in battle before. I'm not saying that didn't rattle her, but she didn't say she wouldn't go back down. She just didn't like you guys."

Rey said, "It was the thing in the cockpit, Steel. If you or Kylo won't mention it, I will." Poe made a very small smile. Now he was getting somewhere. Rey was a big help in drawing these guys out.

Steel pursed his lips and looked around for an excuse not to talk about it. He didn't find one. "Fine. We were on our way back and Kaydel asked me why we didn't just kill Snoke and leave." He paused.

Poe didn't miss the way Steel was looking at him for reaction. It was a careful look, like he was waiting for Poe to take sides. Poe didn't know enough to do that, or even what the sides were. "But … you guys did kill Snoke and leave. I know you still have some ties with the Order. Was she upset about that?"

"Nnn- kinda." Steel frowned again and looked at Kylo, who Poe was pleased to see was willing to stare blankly at his own people (and refuse to give them anything) just as much as others. Steel huffed. "No, she meant why didn't we leave earlier, what with there being all of us together against the old guy. Why didn't we mess him up and light out like we did with Luke? But as soon as, uh, anything happened, anything that we didn't want to have happen."

Rey said, "If you were taken advantage of, why didn't you leave. That's what she said. 'If', like she questioned it."

Poe blinked at him, then tilted his head back with an "Ah," as he figured it out. Kaydel didn't believe, or understand, why they'd felt trapped under Snoke's thumb. That fit. "What did you do?"

"I told her to fuck off," Steel said emphatically.

Kylo smiled and chuckled.

Poe nodded.

Rey looked down and said, "I wasn't where I could see, but Steel's tone of voice was not friendly. He didn't threaten her with anything. And first he tried telling her it wasn't her business, but she asked again more rudely, so he was rude back. She shouldn't have asked any of that, but I can see how she might feel unsafe from his response. Kylo and I weren't … supportive either. We didn't say anything to her until we had to in the debriefing."

Nera said nothing. Now, and as usual.

"Where was I during all this?" Finn asked.

"You were asleep on the couch," Steel said. "Nera knocked you out."

"You gave Kaydel the cold shoulder. Got it." Poe rubbed his forehead. "You guys have been plenty detailed for me to figure out some of what's happened to you." He shook his head. "There's no 'if' about it. And you left when you left. There aren't many cases where being rude to someone is the right answer, but I think we found one. Did anything else happen?"

Kylo made a baffled face. Steel and Rey both shrugged. Nera did nothing.

Finn spoke up, "I have no problem with them. They've been great. The whole time. Every one of them. I've never had anyone on my squad that I was so sure had my back every step of the way, whether following my orders without a question or telling me what to do, clear and concise."

Poe raised his brows in surprise. "That's a pretty absolute endorsement." Finn raised his chin. Poe went on, "When they came on the  _Restitution_ , you were telling me to get rid of them. You've changed your mind that much?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation or equivocation in Finn's voice. "I was never treated like a … like a stormtrooper. I was not expendable. Neither was Kaydel. We were a team."

"Are a team," Steel said. "Get it right."

"Part of the team …?" Finn said, uncertain. "You mean the Knights of Ren?"

"Yeah," Steel said. "Why not?"

Finn pulled a shocked face. "I thought you had to have the Force for that."

"Kriff no!" Steel said. "How do you think I got in?"

"You have the Force," Finn said.

"Hardly any. Doesn't count." Steel noticed the way Kylo was looking at him and said to him, "Hey, I get to nominate people, too. You added her. I get to add him."

"You think it wise to have a traitor in the group?" Kylo asked. His voice was level.

Steel said, "You weren't even in charge when he defected!"

Kylo made a small frown. "He was in my unit  _when_  he defected. It was a personal offense." But he said it gently, with a glance at Finn wasn't unfriendly.

"Just shows he has good initiative. I like him already," Steel said.

Kylo snorted. As an aside to Finn, he said, "I have no objection. Welcome." Finn's chest puffed out.

"He was just teasing about that other, you know?" Steel said.

Finn chuckled. "I got that. He's more whoop-ass and lightsaber-y when he means it."

Steel laughed at that. "'Whoop-ass and lightsaber-y'? Hey, Kylo, got a new motto for you."

"I like it," Kylo said.

"Okay then." Poe nodded like that was enough for him. "Come on, guys. Let's get this bird in the air."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the victim-blaming, I figure Kylo and the Knights of Ren are going to run into this sort of prejudice a lot. It's the same as the First Order wanting nothing to do with Force users.


	26. Gassed Out

**A/N: Like in a previous chapter, Force activities are not necessarily done by the person Finn thinks. For example, it is beyond Steel's ability to choke someone, but well within his ability to ask Kylo over an already-established telepathic link, to do it, and then stay close enough to him that Kylo can maintain it.**

They met with three women from the Rathstand Military Academy, all of whom were adults of considerable age. The dean must have must have been well into adulthood before the Empire itself was founded, as she was now nearing triple digits in age. Each of the women had a much younger aide with them, a trooper in training whose job in this case seemed to consist of carrying things and taking notes.

"Rathstand is doing well," the grizzled Dean Mulhale told them. "Prior to the difficulty, we kept a two-month stock of all expendables. We've taken in some refugees from Tanish Primary School and sent out some supplies to support others, but we still have two weeks on hand. As you know, our students strongly support the so-called Traitors and I personally believe there are significant reforms the First Order should consider. But this political stance has not been the result of unrest at my facility. We have worked hard to make sure it is not the cause of unrest, either."

"That's really good to hear," Finn said. "I've been through this at least twenty times with other schools, but it sounds like you guys might be in the best shape. What are you – the biggest or second biggest trooper school?"

"Most years, we are the second largest by number of enrollees."

Finn nodded. "You've been able to stay out of the crossfire when these schools have been shooting each other up?"

"Yes," she told him. "Loyalty is never a sufficient reason to engage in warfare. It gains you nothing to destroy your enemies if you do not advance your position in the process. I heard about yesterday's disaster at the Ark. A group of refugees showed up from there last night."

"Really?" Finn said. "Did they give you any idea of survivors? Did they know anything?"

"They didn't know any numbers. They said you were an imposter or mind-controlled by the Sith and in either case, fronting for the First Order." She tilted her head. "My job is to train people to be soldiers, not to take a stand on these other matters. They are above my rank and it is not my place."

Finn straightened. "That's quite an accusation. I'm an imposter?"

"I do not accuse," she said stiffly. "I don't care who you are if you have ships and supplies behind you. You asked if they knew anything. They know rumor and conjecture. They should know better than to believe such, but perhaps they don't teach critical thinking skills in technical schools."

"Okay," he nodded. "Where are they? I'd like to talk to them and get a better understanding of what's going on."

She raised a brow and frowned. "They are here, in this building. You can speak with them later. The matter of 'what's going on' is why we're meeting you here in an outbuilding rather than under the dome on the school grounds. Many of those on the side of the Traitors have decided to reject the offer you've been making to return the Downs to First Order control, and instead to continue this destructive rebellion in hope of either forcing concessions or obtaining real assistance from some other quarter."

Poe, who was sitting to Finn's left, sighed, grimaced, and scratched at his chin. "Why are we in an outbuilding again?"

She answered, "Because the current agitation calls for your group to be destroyed or expelled."

Both Finn and Poe looked over at Rey and then Kylo, neither of which were showing any signs of unease. Finn looked back to the older woman. "But you're not getting involved in that?"

"No. That is nowhere in my mandate as a dean. However, keeping my students safe  _is_  and so you are not welcome inside the school until I am sure other groups are not going to launch an offensive against Rathstand to try to get to you. I was approached multiple times about … interfering with your mission. That would not benefit me or my students."

Rey said, "You mean you were asked to kill us. We thank you for not bringing it to that."

"No thanks are necessary," she said. "Just-"

Both Kylo and Rey stood and looked towards the air vents.

"No!" Kylo said.

"What is that?" Rey asked.

"It's gas," came from Steel. He and Nera had been standing at the door in their full, usual outfit, one on each side like guards. "We get out!" Steel turned and tried to activate the door, which didn't budge. "Of course. Kriffing trap."

Kylo's lightsaber came on with a crackling hiss. He went to the door as Steel tried the control panel again, then shot it with his blaster rifle. But it didn't open. Kylo gave the door a quick review and stabbed into the portion that served to physically latch it.

Rey told the others, "Don't breathe!"

Poe and Finn both simply stared at her. It was Dean Mulhale who asked, "How do we do that?"

"Stop talking and don't inhale," Rey said. One of the aides crumpled to the floor, eyes rolled up in the teen boy's head. Kylo snapped off his lightsaber and slid the doors open with the Force.

Steel trotted over to Finn and said, "Chokey chokey." Finn felt his airway shut. He hadn't been breathing before, but now he literally couldn't. He grabbed at his throat as Steel matter-of-factly hoisted him over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. He was hurried out of the room and down the hall towards the outside door, while still struggling  _not_  to struggle.

Behind him, he could see Poe getting carried similarly by Kylo, whose lightsaber was back on his belt. Finn wanted to call out to Rey. She had to breathe sometime, too, and he didn't see her behind them. He didn't know how good the knight's helmets were against poison gas or if they had some trick of the Force to make them immune. Even if they did, what of the three people they'd been talking with or their three aides (one of whom Finn had seen fall, so whatever the gas was, it was quick)?

The outside door was locked as well. Rather than take the time for finesse, Kylo buckled the entire door with a Force push and took two more shoves to get it open and blown out. They were immediately barraged by blaster fire, with no cover due to Kylo having flattened the door and part of the wall. Steel tossed Finn to the ground and crouched between him and the attackers, drawing and igniting his lightsaber.

Finn had managed to catch himself when thrown down, but he still couldn't breathe. It was painful at this point. His throat was convulsing against his will and his thinking was getting foggy. He tried to draw his blaster pistol from his hip. His rifle was back in the room, where he assumed Steel's was as well. He wasn't sure exactly what was happening outside. There was dust, smoke, and things blowing up. The number of blaster shots streaking into the hallway diminished fast. Rey yelped down the hall and there was a muffled thump like a body fell. He realized his hand was empty and looked down to see he'd dropped the blaster. Everything turned to darkness after that.

He woke up and sucked in a painful lungful of air, then coughed because he felt like he was trying to swallow his own tongue. Someone shoved him over to his side. He heard Steel say, "Kriff." The hand on Finn's shoulder left. He could hear Poe coughing as well. In a conversational tone, Steel said, "We got company. You guys lay here and play dead until you can shoot straight. I'll draw them off."

Finn already knew his holster was empty, but he checked it anyway. He rolled and crawled over to Poe, staying low. Poe was still shaking and pale, but had the presence of mind to have drawn his blaster. More than a dozen paces away, Steel ignited his lightsaber and waved it like a beacon. "Over here, assholes!"

There were only three approaching them in the broad daylight. Even though they could probably see the two on the ground, Steel was making himself the more obvious target. All three fired on him. Although he had the lightsaber out in front of him, only one of the shots was deflected. He was knocked down by at least one of the others.

Poe took down one of their enemies, causing the other two to swing towards them and start sending blasts their way. Luckily, people on the ground presented a much smaller profile and they missed with their first round. Both fell abruptly after that, as though knocked to the ground by a gust of wind.

Steel came up to a knee. Poe shot the first of their two enemies who tried to get up. The other one elected to stay down and threw her blaster away. Finn climbed to his feet, looking back at the building. Rey, Nera, and Kylo were outside now and to the side with people on the ground – probably the dean and those of her staff who had been in the room.

Finn looked around to see a dozen or more dead people on the ground. He assumed they were the ones who had been firing into the corridor earlier. He offered Poe a hand up. Poe rubbed his neck and cleared his throat, walking over to the one on the ground who had surrendered.

Steel was still on one knee, but the lightsaber was off. He held the hilt casually, his neck craned so he could look down at his side. Finn called out to him, "You okay over there?"

"Not sure," he answered.

Finn hurried over to him. Before he got there, he could see the armor had been breached at the right hip, where the thigh plate met the belt. The small gap there was necessary for mobility, but also meant a well-placed, high-energy shot would penetrate. In this case, Finn suspected it was luck rather than skill. Blood was leaking out of the under-armor layer. "Can you walk?"

"Don't know yet." Steel started up, then sunk right back down. He panted. "I think so. But it hurts like hell. The armor caught some of it. And, uh, my arm." Steel looked at his left arm. Now that Finn did, too, he could see the scorch mark of a deflected bolt. "Looks like it did a better job there," Steel said.

"Okay," Finn said. "I'm going to get you over where the others are so you're not out here in the open."

"Good idea," Steel said.

Finn supported him as they limped over. Nera was sitting on the ground between two of the women who had been in the room. One of the teenage aides lay nearby. Rey was on the ground next to her looking very sad. Finn brought Steel to a stop next to where Rey was and settled him to the ground. He went to Rey.

Rey shook her head. "She's dead. Nera couldn't save her and neither can I. The toxin has spread too far. Maybe she can save the others."

Finn looked over, seeing the dean's color improve even to his untrained eye. Nera's hands were bare – grey skin with black fuzz on the backs of them. She turned away from Dean Mulhale as though finished and laid hands on the other woman's cheeks. Beyond them, Poe's prisoner had been walked closer and was on her knees on the ground, cringing and gasping. Kylo's hand was extended toward her head. Poe's face was hard. Finn turned to Rey. A quick glance didn't show any injuries. "You going to be okay?" She nodded.

Finn walked around the bodies to where the impromptu interrogation was happening. It seemed over by the time he got there – at least the girl was crumpled in on herself and Kylo was turning to tell Poe, "There are more. She doesn't know why they haven't come around yet. I sense them over there." He jerked his head to the left. "They're not coming our way. This should be all we have to deal with for now."

"Who are they?" Poe asked.

"Some of the ones who attacked the Ark," Kylo said. "They came here as soon as they heard of our plans and passed themselves off as refugees. They set the gas traps and rigged the doors. Rathstand had nothing to do with it."

"Yeah," Poe said. "I guessed that. Otherwise, they're gassing their own dean, which I suppose is possible, but still."

Kylo shook his head. "She wasn't lying to us in the meeting. There's peace here. We just need them on our side and we can move on."

"What are we going to do about these attacks, though?" Finn asked.

Poe looked down at the sniffling girl kneeling between them. "Maybe we shouldn't discuss our plans in front of the enemy," Poe suggested.

"Oh ..." Finn paused, feeling a flash of shame at that, given DJ's betrayal and the effect that had on the Resistance. "Yeah. Right. Good idea. What are we going to do with her?"

Kylo extended a hand towards her again as though he was grabbing something out of the air. She collapsed. "She's asleep now and will remain that way for a time. An hour, maybe. We can discuss what we like."

Poe said, "So the thing at the Ark wasn't one school against another. It was an attempt on your lives. Same thing here?" Kylo nodded. "And this was after they'd approached the dean repeatedly about setting us up. But she turned them down?"

Kylo nodded again and looked into the sky.

"We gotta do something about this," Poe said. "We …" He turned and looked up as well, at the high, wispy clouds and pale blue sky. "What are you looking at? Do you see something?"

"The orbital … defense network … has activated," Kylo said slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I spent more than hour researching gasses used in Star Wars and the real world before realizing a) the characters involved wouldn't stop to identify what the stuff was before attempting to bail out of the room ASAP, and b) the details of it were ultimately irrelevant to the story.
> 
> It's like the other rabbit hole I fell into of blaster 'caliber' or power rating vs various levels of body armor. Also, pelvic girdle and related gunshot wounds.


	27. From a Distance

"The orbital defense network?" Poe said. "Against the  _Restitution_?"

Rey had come over to join them. Behind her, the two women were sitting up and holding one another. Nera had gone to Steel. "There," Rey said.

For a moment, nothing happened other than Kylo making a small nod.

Poe said, "Guys, we can't see what you're seeing. It's just a blank sky for us. Narrate. Please."

"They're not firing at the  _Restitution_ ," Kylo said. "First Order ships have arrived - three destroyers and a dreadnought. The  _Finalizer_  is one of them. The grand marshal is aboard. I have not made contact with him. The orbital platforms have-"

Kylo's head snapped around to the left. In the distance, there was a flash of light as a beam from somewhere over the horizon streaked upward to disappear into the sky.

"You guys have ground installations, too, huh?" Poe asked.

"Yes," Kylo said. "Among the many reasons why I was reluctant to bring armed force against these planets. Even the farm worlds have defenses." He looked up. "That hit the dreadnought. No obvious damage. I can't tell shield status anyway. But if it matches the … stuff Hux showed me about Naboo, then a ground laser like that should have done more. The shields might hold once, but it would start a cascade failure. Maybe this one isn't fully powered? I don't know."

"The  _Harbinger_  has decloaked and is coming in," Rey said. Her brow furrowed. "The  _Restitution_  is moving in as well. What are they doing?"

"Wait," Poe said, "the  _Restitution_  is getting mixed up in whatever is happening up there?"

Kylo nodded. "And the dreadnought is targeting us."

"Targeting us, or the  _Restitution_?" Poe said with alarm, although neither was good news.

"Us." Kylo was gazing up fixedly, one hand half raised. Rey had moved next to him and taken his other hand.

"Uh," Poe asked. "Can you stop a beam like that?"

"I don't know," Kylo said calmly.

"What exactly are they targeting?" Poe asked. "It can't be us. It has to be a grid location. We can move."

Kylo shook his head. "They're not firing. They're just locked in on us."

"Okay … that's good ... I guess?" Poe touched his forehead. "Let's get to the freighter, then. I need a signal. I need to know what's going on up there. You think those orbital defenses would shoot us down if we took off?"

"They would probably try," Kylo said. "It depends on who's controlling it and selecting targets. I could talk to the  _Restitution_."

"Uh, like that time you did with me?" Poe looked to Rey, who nodded. "No. Let's use a signal."

They took off at a run towards the freighter. Finn called out, "Guys? I'll catch up!" He scavenged a couple blasters from the dead and doubled back to where Nera and Steel were.

In the freighter, Poe slid into the co-pilot's seat and began seeking a channel. " _Restitution_? This is General Dameron. Come in!" There was static. "Dammit. Are we being jammed?" He switched the dial, getting Hux's voice coming through loud and clear on one. He paused. The guy was speaking passionately.

From the speaker, they heard, "-ich you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate, to their cherished fleet. All remaining systems will  _bow_  to the First Order and will remember this AS THE LAST DAY OF THE REPUBLIC!" Then there was static again.

"That's from his speech on Starkiller Base," Kylo said. "That's a recording."

"Um," Poe said, "why is that being broadcast right now?"

"I have no idea," Kylo said.

"What's going on up there?" Poe said, frustrated and beside himself with the lack of good information, despite getting a near blow-by-blow of events.

Rey said, "The  _Restitution_  is running now. They engaged a few shots, superficial, but they did fire. All the First Order ships are withdrawing and following."

"All of them?" Poe asked. "All of them against the  _Restitution_?"

"They aren't firing … much," she said, "at your ship."

"Why would Captain D'Acy fire at them at all?" Poe asked. "Does she think they're involved with this gas attack on us? How would she even know about it?" He turned to Kylo. "Those people who got away down here, the ones involved in attacking us – did they send out communications?"

"I don't know," Kylo said. "I didn't check."

"Can you?" Poe asked.

Kylo clenched his fists uneasily. "It would be faster if I contacted D'Acy directly rather than locating and looking through the minds of a half dozen people I don't know."

"Neither she nor Kaydel like you guys and your abilities," Poe said.

"My voice might work better," Rey offered.

"Yeah, okay-" Poe said, cut off by a light on the communications panel. He changed the channel to match.

"This is Grand Marshal Hux hailing the  _Restitution_. You cannot escape. You have fired on First Order vessels, conspired with a planetary rebellion, and defied the directives you were given in your mission here. Surrender. Lower your shields. And prepare to be boarded."

"Ah, Armitage?" Poe spoke into the receiver in the nicest, most polite, and solicitous voice, "This is Poe. Sorry to cut in on what you're doing here, but I'm on Lanson Down at the moment and I know for a fact there is a massive miscommunication going on. I apologize, sincerely, for the  _Restitution_  firing on you. That's terrible. It was wrong. It was a mistake. We're not responsible for whatever's going on with the planetary defenses. Can we talk? You and I? Please?"

Kylo's brows rose at Poe's tone. He reached over and muted the line for the moment. "Do you think that will work? Begging?"

"Yes," Poe said confidently and more normally. "He likes that messy, undignified stuff. How do you think I got him to agree to be with me to start with? We had lunch and I wheedled and begged at him for an hour. He was all over it."

"General Dameron," Hux said with a sneer that had Poe grinning. "If you have lost control of your own capital ship, then you should thank me for bringing it to heel. Otherwise, order them to come about and submit to being boarded."

"Ah … 'kay. Hang on. I'll do that," Poe said.

"Do so quickly," Hux said. "I have no patience for trickery."

Poe switched the channel back to the one more commonly used by the Resistance. "Captain D'Acy? Are you receiving?" There was nothing but static. "They must only be jamming our frequencies! I'm sure she's monitoring the First Order channels as well, but I'd really like to make sure."

Rey said, "Let me talk to her. What do you want to tell her?"

Poe nodded at the communications panel. "Stop engines, lower shields, and allow boarding parties. We need to get this sorted out before this turns … worse. We're already shooting at each other. This is stupid."

Finn arrived with Nera and Steel. They shut the ramp and sealed up the ship, then turned to first aid on Steel. Rey was silent, staring off and to the side in a distracted fashion. Poe asked Kylo, "She doesn't talk out loud anymore when she does that?"

Kylo shook his head. "We've learned how to use the ability better. They're talking. D'Acy is complying."

Poe switched on the First Order frequency. "Grand Marshal, you should be getting some cooperation any moment now. I'd love to talk in person, but I'm a little concerned about being shot out of the sky if we try to take off."

There was no answer for a few minutes, followed by Hux telling him, "We will override the defense network shortly and send down shuttles. Stay where you are. Are you, General Dameron, in command of this entire operation – what was originally supposed to be a humanitarian mission to assist in returning stability to the Downs?"

Poe gave Kylo a side-eye about the word 'originally', then looked at the communications panel. He said, "Yes. I am. And it's still a humanitarian mission. We're not here to cause trouble."

"Good," Hux said. "Then you're the one the shuttles will pick up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA: The Resistance and the First Order get trolled by a 13 year old with an internet connection.
> 
> It never comes up again, but Cpt D'Acy was sent a forged recording of Finn's voice (they've had plenty of communications from him in the last few days on Lanson Down) begging her to just draw the FO ships off a little so they could get the freighter off the ground and into space. The intent being that both would jump to hyperspace and escape. Hux's side comes up in the next chapter.


	28. Dinner Date

Poe sprawled out in his seat on the shuttle and got comfortable, or at least as comfortable as he was likely to get while wearing shackles and being stared at by a half-dozen bucket-headed stormtroopers. The prisoner treatment was familiar, though this time was not going to end at the hands of Kylo Ren. Also different – this time, he actually wanted to share the information he had rather than conceal it. He wondered how much Hux had been lied to and how much, if at all, he would trust that Poe was telling him the truth.

The answer to that came faster than he'd expected. Hux entered the small conference room where Poe had been led to by Shiny-Armor Stormtrooper. Hux couldn't (or didn't) entirely conceal the warm amusement as he looked over Poe's shackles. "Release him, Captain."

To Poe, he asked, "Are you hungry?"

Poe turned to Captain Shiny-Armor, who came over to unlock his cuffs. He looked over his shoulder to Hux. "Uh, lunch would be nice. Sure."

"It's dinner, here, but a meal all the same." Hux pulled out a comm link. "Lt. Mitaka?" He waited for an acknowledgement. "Please have my dinner and a matching tray, along with Captain Phasma's, brought to the forward executive conference room. Thank you." Mitaka acknowledged again and Hux pocketed the link. "Now we can talk," Hux said.

Poe rubbed at his wrists and looked back up at Captain Phasma, who was regarding him with that implacable stare the stormtrooper helmets were so good at providing. He gave her his most charming smile. "Phasma, huh? Nice armor." He gave her an appreciative look up and down, ostensibly at her 'armor'. She moved away without a response, returning to her position at the wall.

Hux took a seat and said, "It is useful to me to have a witness of unimpeachable integrity to our primary discussions. Captain Phasma, and her discretion, have my complete trust. We are also being recorded."

"Ah," Poe said, nodding and taking in the several things Hux was telling him, most of them only implied. "Let's get this worked out, then. We wouldn't want the people watching to have to waste their time on pointless small talk, would we?" Hux gave a small smile.

Poe dug into it. "Finn and Kylo's mission on the Downs was initially successful. They contacted a couple dozen places. I can send you reports on supplies and situations. By this point, most of them are literally hungry and willing to give up the insurrection if you'll make food deliveries. We've been sending down what we have to the places in the worst situations."

Poe went on, "But we have the same problem that made Kylo drag his feet about this whole thing when he was supreme leader. They're disorganized. Just because we settle things with one group doesn't mean it settles it with the rest. Sometimes, not even ones who seemed to be allied to start with. Like I said, we've had some success and I think that's triggered some of the groups we haven't gotten to yet to stage attacks on us. Yesterday at the, uh, Arkanis … um, the Ark?" He looked at Hux hopefully. "The names kind of blend together after a while."

"The technical school for droid repair?" Hux said.

"Uh … I think so?"

"It's in smoking ruins from what our preliminary scans show."

Poe nodded. "That's the one, yeah. It was bombed yesterday when our group was down there meeting with them. They pulled back to the  _Restitution_  under fire and we went back down this morning to Rathstand. Then we were ambushed again. Rathstand lost a colonel. Linhor, I think her name was."

"Ah." Hux nodded once. "Is Dean Mulhale still in charge there?"

Poe nodded. "She made it out." Hux made a note on his datapad and Poe waited until he was done to continue. "We're fine, too," Poe said. "In case you wondered."

"Not really," Hux said honestly. "You have Kylo and the Knights of Ren with you. From my understanding, Rey's capability is just as significant. If you manage to lose anyone, I would suggest you treat it as intentional."

"They make mistakes," Poe said. "One of them is convalescing right now because he took fire for us. I'd like to get him up to the  _Restitution_  medbay as soon as possible."

Hux's expression didn't change, nor did he respond to the soft request. He said, "I'm glad you're well. Let's continue."

"Okay," Poe said. "Tell me why you're here."

"To find out the status of your progress."

"You're a day early."

"We were informed by anonymous signal that you were attempting to unite the Downs against the Order, that you'd infiltrated the planetary defense system, and that the Resistance was sending ships to fortify the location against us," Hux told him. "Beside it seeming unlike you or Kylo to agree to one thing to my face and then do another behind my back, there were other, smaller discrepancies in the message – things that were not said that should have been. I arrived early to find out personally what was going on, only to be immediately attacked by both the planetary defense system and your Resistance cruiser.

"For a moment, it seemed like confirmation. But then we were given your location and that was just a bit too pat. Given that your cruiser's fire on us was more along the lines of shots across the bow, I withdrew and demanded surrender. And here we are."

Poe smiled slightly and pointed at Hux. "Good call. You know, this is exactly what I wanted to achieve back on Naboo – a little bit of trust, so we can work things out."

"Dean Mulhale would never have forgiven me if I'm damaged her school, in any account."

"She seemed to have herself together," Poe said. "You guys have many people from the Empire, or like her, from before that? Back when the Senate was still around?"

"Very few. None in positions of power. But you'll find more of them on the Downs than elsewhere."

Poe nodded. "You trust the future of the First Order to them?"

"Yes, I do," Hux said, "but most of them were in place before I had anything to do with it. It would be more accurate to say that my opinions on what the First Order was intended to be and what we should accomplish in the galaxy were formed by close association with those who had seen what came before. I need to know what your purpose is here."

Poe nodded. "We – I mean Kylo, Finn, Rey, me, some others – talked about that some on the way here. It was really intense to start with. I'm not going to lie – we did float the idea of what would happen if we gave the students what they wanted, which is what that message to you said we were doing. It's wrong, though. We made sure everyone on our side knew it wouldn't work and why it wouldn't work. Because of exactly this.

"What we need are some troops to come in behind us and keep things secure. Not as many as you and Kylo were concerned about for ground occupation and said you didn't have anyway. Just a presence to show up with the food shipments. We also need that planetary defense system neutralized."

"That's done for now," Hux said, "but my override can be manually reset. It's an hour-long process-" He shook his head. "The details are immaterial. More important is that you or I need to send forces back to the governor's estate and lock down the main controls so they can't simply reset it every time I override it. The primary communications array is there as well, but there are backups on the poles and one on Epel, all independent. Each school maintains their own communications system as well."

Poe nodded. "Yeah, we were talking last night about how to figure out who was doing what and the problem is still just too many actors. Much as I want this to be easy and quick, it's not."

Hux shook his head. "There's nothing to be done about that. Let's get into the details and perhaps I can help. Do you need to requisition reports from your ship?"

The door opened and a young-looking lieutenant brought in a droid that had three trays on it. He set out the food. Poe thanked the kid because it looked like no one else was going to. After he left, Poe told Hux, "Yeah. Let's get that information on its way before we eat, then we can work on it after."

They made the arrangements. Poe was pleased to get to talk to Captain D'Acy and confirm everything was okay. Despite being boarded, occupied, and with a search ongoing, there hadn't been any incidents. Phasma took a seat across from Poe and the helmet came off, along with the gloves. He smiled at her warmly enough that she blushed. He chuckled, pleased with the effect he could have on people. "You guys. You wear those buckets all the time? How does that work? No one can see your faces."

She cleared her throat and ignored him, picking up her utensils. Poe sighed. He looked at Hux, who looked amused and said, "The helmets promote uniformity and group identity. That's very important when you're dealing with people from a variety of backgrounds, some of whom may remember elements of their childhoods elsewhere. We want all of them to know, at a glance, that they're on the same team, all part of a new family. It's not as important for officers. We tend to grow up with our biological family at hand."

"Ah," Poe said with a slow nod. "What are the odds that we'll be able to cut that out and shift to a volunteer army for you guys? Seriously? I know it came up on Naboo, but you wouldn't comment."

"It's possible," Hux allowed, to Poe's surprise. "Phasma and I have been evaluating how it could be done. For the moment, harvesting operations are idle. There is nowhere safe to put them until the situation on the Downs is resolved and even once it is, I would prefer to wait a few months to make sure all is secure. But my hand is being forced on that schedule."

Hux's brows furrowed and he cut up his protein patty with a thoughtful expression before adding, "We have … clients whom we use as brokers in some areas for the procurement of children. They know the locality and make purchases or arrangements for us, then we buy in bulk. It minimizes transport. They buy in advance. They had no more expectation of what happened at Starkiller or Crait or Naboo than anyone else. Operations have been disrupted for a month now. They are holding children for us and they are  _complaining_."

"Oh." Poe wondered what he was supposed to do with that information, so he just kept eating and let Hux talk.

"I can give you a list of certain pickup points," Hux said after a beat.

Poe blinked as he thought through that. "Wait, you'd share that with us?"

"Under conditions. Yes." Hux regarded him for a moment longer before going back to his food. "I know what you're thinking. You'll burn us with our clients. You'll destroy those particular slave rings and I'll never be able to do business with them again. That's acceptable, because I won't be able to do business with them anyway. They're threatening me with liquidating their inventory and I don't have anywhere optimal to put them.

"That's another reason why I'm here a day early. I've made holding payments, but this is not something the Order can continue with unless the Republic comes through faster with tax money, which they won't pay until the treaty is finalized. I'm not going to rush the process of making a new government on the behalf of a few thousand children."

"Liquidating?" Poe said. "You mean killing them. The kids."

"Or releasing them," Hux said. "If we're charitable. Slave traders are not benevolent people, but they are people. I'm sure many will be returned to their families, but I wouldn't expect diligent efforts at it. In any case, if you want to prove the Republic wishes to take care of their own, then this is how you can start. This is only a percentage of our sources, but it is a currently troublesome percentage who will meet a bad end if nothing is done."

"Yeah, I'll take that information," Poe said eagerly. "This is what we want from you guys. Really. This is a big deal."

"There will be conditions," Hux said. "I need it known that your involvement is due to their threats and any who wish to renegotiate with me for extended payment terms will be allowed to do so. But this will let those who genuinely can't support their stock to turn them over to you and opt out. They'll lose their investment, but at least they'll be rid of the cost of disposal."

Poe shook his head slowly. "You're really heavy on the euphemisms there. You mean, I'm saving them the trouble of killing a bunch of starving toddlers and younglings."

Hux gazed at him with very little in the way of expression. "Yes. Or younger. We prefer them as young as possible."

Poe stared back at him for a long moment, then said, "Okay. I appreciate that you're offering this to us at all. This is like a first step, right?"

"It's more like the sixth." Hux continued eating.

"Yeah," Poe said quietly. "I get that. Naboo, telling us about the riots, giving us coordinates and a course to your core worlds, letting us go downplanet …" He wondered if there was a point or two more to make 'six', or if that was just a number Hux had pulled out of the air.

"Believing your report on your intentions and activities rather than anonymous informants," Hux said, finishing the list for him. "And now this. The relationship between our groups is like that of a teacher and a child, with each trying to determine if the other is worthy of respect or defiance. But we each occupy both positions, teacher and child at the same time."

"You can't just say we're allies, huh?" Poe chuckled.

"Alliances are temporary," Hux said. "Education and training establishes lifelong patterns of behavior."

"You're looking at it as something permanent." Poe nodded. "I like that. That's fantastic, Armitage."


	29. General Hugs

**A/N: For those curious about my writing process, this was one of the first chapters I wrote in this section of the series. Then I had to figure out the preceding thirty chapters to get to this point.**

"I'll take full custody of the prisoner," Hux said to Captain Phasma as they came to the elevator.

She gave an immediate, "Yes sir,", saluted, and left quickly enough that Poe assumed she'd expected it. The elevator door slid open and he was guided inside. Just him and the grand marshal now. Really, it was dangerous to have your top guy all alone with a prisoner whose only restraint was hand shackles that were heavy enough to make a great bludgeon all by themselves. Not that Poe had any plans.

Poe looked over at Hux and winked. "What's on your mind?"

"It's halfway through the night shift," Hux said, coloring a little at the wink and turning away to watch the floors pass. Right there was his opportunity, Poe knew, had he had any ill intentions. Hux wasn't even looking at him. The guy trusted him. Hux went on, "The halls should be empty."

The doors opened. Hux guided him down the hall at a brisk walk. Poe noted that the hallway was nicer than he'd have expected for the underbelly of the ship or wherever they had the brig tucked away. He'd assumed that was where he was going, though now that he thought about it, Hux hadn't said. The floors were shiny, the walls patterned, doors evenly spaced and all shut, labeled only with tiny, inset numbers instead of the larger placards he remembered from his brief stint as a prisoner on Jakku.

He'd been in an entirely different part of the ship then. He was trying to remember the details when Hux stopped in front of a door and punched a code into the keypad. The door slid open. Hux gestured for Poe to enter. He did, and everything fell into place.

"These are your quarters," Poe said as he looked around, eyes widening. It was spacious. The walls were stark – black with silver edging around the various panels, making them less concealed than in most quarters. On one side of the room was a low, metal-clad, engraved credenza that looked to have been rescued from a primitive cult. On the other was a modernistic ice blue couch with a suede finish.

Between them was a rectangular table that looked like it had been reclaimed from scrap. With a second look at it, Poe was pretty sure the table had been made from hull plating. In the far corner was a bronzium statue of a robed humanoid. The entire far wall next to it was a star scape. An open arch to the right led into another chamber that had a bed.

"Yes." Hux pulled an implement from his pocket and was examining it to be sure he had the orientation correct. "You are not currently accorded the status that would allow private quarters under guard, or for you to be anywhere that you are not being immediately observed. But if you remain in my direct custody, it doesn't matter where you are. You need not take this as a threat, but your other choice is the brig." He stopped in front of Poe. "Would you prefer it?"

"No." Poe knew what he was asking. "I get to stay the night with you? No way I'm passing that up. I'm sure the brig is nice and all." He smirked.

Hux gave him a brief smile and gestured to Poe's shackles. Poe raised them. Hux struggled with the locking mechanism. "I've never had to do this myself. There." It released. Hux caught the shackles and carried them over to the wall next to the door. There was a sink, a small counter, and some shelves there. Poe rubbed his wrists and went to the opposite side of the room, looking at what he'd initially taken to be a view port. Once he was closer, he could see it was a screen showing a view of space. Interior rooms, like this one, were safer.

"Would you like a drink?" Hux called over.

"Yeah." Poe looked at the star pattern, trying (and failing) to place it. It was either made up or somewhere really remote, because he wasn't finding any landmarks he could be certain of. He decided it could be the view from somewhere here in the Unknown Regions.

"Alcohol, caff, or tea?" Hux asked.

"At this hour? Alcohol. You drink it?" For Poe it was evening. For Hux, the middle of the night. He couldn't imagine drinking stimulants at this hour. Even the alcohol would have that effect if they had much of it.

They'd spent their time after dinner going exhaustively over the list of schools both visited and unvisited, as well as all the information Finn's group had gathered. By the end of it, Poe had a new appreciation for Hux's patience, because Poe felt like his eyes were going to cross if he had to read another report and put together recommendations. He supposed a pick-me-up wouldn't hurt anything.

"Sometimes," Hux answered. "It takes the edge off." He poured up two short glasses with an amber-colored liquid. He set them on the table as Poe returned and took a seat.

"Thanks." Poe looked at the word ' _Umbrage_ ' writ across the tabletop in huge letters. It looked like the table had been sized so the entire word fit. "That's a ship's name?" He pulled over the glass meant for him.

"Yes. My father's personal shuttle – the aggrieved shadow, to take both definitions of the word."

"Oh. What happened to it?"

"I had it fragged." Hux raised his glass as though to a toast. "He was already dead. I didn't want most of what I inherited from him."

Poe glanced at the table again with an unsettled feeling. The most common meaning of 'frag' was a vulgarity about friendly fire. The next was to blow something into fragments, which was what the first was derived from. "To take … both definitions of 'fragged'?" Hux raised his brows and tilted his head in assent. Poe nodded and raised his glass in return, saying, "Then here's to the parts you did want."

The liquor was stronger than he'd expected – high proof and distilled. He coughed in surprise. Poe gave the glass a watery-eyed look. "Yeah, you guys aren't barbarians or monks, that's for sure. You drink this stuff straight?" Hux just chuckled. There wasn't even ice in it. "You guys." Poe shook his head. Once he managed to get over the fumes, Poe gestured at the table. "It doesn't really go with the other stuff, though. Of course, nothing in here goes with anything else."

"They're all of a theme for me – people who were formative to the man I am today. My father more than any." He nudged the table, which was heavy enough it didn't move. "The credenza is from Grand Admiral Thrawn's collection of artifacts. After he disappeared, we put his things in guarded storage, but a few of us took items for … sentimental reasons. I look forward to the opportunity to return it to him. But failing that, I have something to remember him by."

Hux nodded towards the statue in the corner. "The figure is Sistros, one of the Four Sages of Dwartii, ancient lawgivers from the dawn of the Galactic Republic. It belongs to Kylo Ren, but he asked me to keep it for him until he's better situated for it."

Poe gave Hux a careful look, but there was nothing about the man's demeanor to indicate it was anything other than an honest accounting (that is, Hux hadn't stolen anything from Kylo on Kylo's way out the door). It would be a strange thing to lie about, anyway, as he could simply ask Kylo about it later. He noted also: Hux considered Kylo formative to his character. That was interesting. "And the couch?"

Hux frowned a little, taking another drink. "It was ordered by Grand Admiral Sloane for her office on Ebbard's Base. She disappeared before she could move into it. All of her more regularly used things were on the ship with her when she went, but this at least represents what she intended." Hux gave the piece of furniture a long look, then finished the last half of his drink in a single gulp. "Will you sleeping on it, or in the bed?"

"Where will you be?"

"In the bed, regardless of which you choose." There was a clipped tone to Hux's voice, like he was at attention, even though he was just sitting there stiffly.

Poe took another sip, realizing Hux had probably downed his glass for courage. It made him melt a little inside. "I'd like to be with you."

"Good." Hux studied his empty glass.

"I'm assuming," Poe said slowly, "that all we're going to do is sleep, right?"

"Yes," Hux pulled his focus back to Poe. "That is my preference. Would you like more to drink?"

"No, I'm good." Poe gestured at the table. "Four chairs around the table, out here in the middle like you actually use it. Good alcohol that you're used to drinking. You have company often?"

"I do, actually, but not in my bed. Just associates. It's private here and unmonitored."

"Kylo?"

Hux shook his head. "No. Ren has never been in my quarters as far as I know. He was never in my confidence anyway." Hux's voice turned a little warmer as he asked, "How is he doing?"

Poe chuckled. "He misses you guys. When we were leaving, he was stuck to the glass watching the fleet. Every time one of the Order ships shows up, he checks it out – especially who's on it. I think the adjustment's been a little rough, but he's figuring it out. The only serious problem I've had with him is when I tried to give orders to the knights. That got his back up."

Hux gave him a puzzled look. "Really? I wouldn't have expected him to be a stickler about the chain of command."

Poe shook his head and finished his drink, wincing at the burn. Once you got past the initial shock of the stuff, it was sinfully smooth jet fuel. "There is no chain of command. He doesn't serve me."

Hux's brows rose in surprise. "He did not bow to you?"

"No," Poe said with exasperation. "I mean, he tried, but I told him to cut it out."

Hux's brows stayed up with him leaning forward slightly, waiting for Poe to go on. Poe asked, "What am I missing here? Because Kylo gave me that exact same expression when I told him not to kneel."

Hux began to laugh. He collected up their glasses and took them over to the counter. He put away the liquor, still laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"That you're still alive!" Hux came back, still grinning.

"What?" Poe asked, sincerely confused.

"You refused him – am I hearing that right?"

"Yeah. Well, I mean, I told him we didn't do that."

Hux shrugged and headed into the bedroom. "Yes, well, he wasn't born in the First Order so he probably knows you didn't mean it. You rebel scum and your complete lack of decorum." Poe stood and followed him. He put his hands out to either side in a 'what?' gesture.'

Hux finally explained. "He tried to swear his loyalty to you and you told him no, that his affiliation was worthless to you, you didn't appreciate it, you didn't want it, you didn't want him, you weren't on good terms with him, you didn't want to discuss it, he'd offended you by offering, you're his enemy, he'd showed you weakness and you responded by slapping him in the face. That's what happened, right?" Hux's eyes were alight with how funny this was.

Poe blinked at him. "That's … what that meant to him?" Hux grinned. He had a nice smile, Poe noticed. "Well, kriff. Now I understand why Kylo thought I was going to kick them off the ship or something. And why Steel kept talking about being refugees. Finn even said it didn't mean the same thing. I never thought to ask him what he thought it meant in the first place."

Hux shook his head as he turned from a wall compartment with a set of folded clothes. He offered them to Poe. "I would say you are a braver man than I, but you obviously didn't know what you were doing. And now he's prickly about you giving orders to his people? You disrespected him and then you pretended their loyalty to him was beneath your notice and irrelevant to you. That could earn you a trip to the medbay in the Order and everyone would think you deserved it."

"Well," Poe said, looking at what appeared to be a set of sumptuously soft top and bottom pajamas, "I only gave suggestions to him anyway. Other than that one time, they weren't commands. I've tried to treat him like an equal."

"Outside of mathematics, equality is a ridiculous concept," Hux said. "Clearly, he's a tolerant man, for which we are all lucky. He accepted Rey's refusal with equanimity."

"Ah, no." Poe shook his head. "Luke Skywalker had to die to keep him off us on Crait. I've put together what happened when. Maybe he calmed down later, but he was going to cut through a lot of people there at first, either to get to her, or to blow up any place she could hide from him."

Hux shrugged. "Then perhaps you were in more danger than it appeared. Those should fit more or less," Hux indicated the clothes. Poe moved to the side of the bed and began to disrobe. In the middle of changing his own clothes, Hux asked, "Why did you not say yes when he tried to pledge himself to you?"

"The Resistance doesn't do that," Poe insisted. "Freedom is a basic principle for us. Service is voluntary, especially for dangerous stuff like the military. I'm not going to tell him how to live his life. That's up to him." Poe glanced over, seeing more of the grand marshal than he had before. He put his eyes back on his own dressing. Whatever material the pajamas were made out of was like the finest silk Poe had ever touched. He didn't know they made things this soft.

"It's hard to believe that actually works for anyone," Hux grumbled. He climbed in bed. The bed was arranged parallel to and against the wall, with a low headboard so you would face the view screen when lying down. The star scape had changed, Poe had noticed, and this time was a more familiar angle on the core region of the Republic.

Hux had scooted over to the far side of the bed, against the wall but facing him. Poe lifted the cover and climbed in, looking at the man. The lights were still up. Hux's features were tight, his eye contact direct. Poe took in the body language. Hux literally had his back to the wall, hands in front of him, knees bent up slightly. The only way he could get more defensive, Poe thought, was if he'd had that knife in his hand. At the moment, Poe was facing him. He fixed the situation by turning and presenting his back.

It took a moment, and Poe glanced over his shoulder once to make sure Hux was still engaged (he was), but finally Hux touched him over the shoulder blade, then the upper arm. Poe glanced back again. Hux's expression had relaxed to merely attentive rather than tense. Poe waited until he had eye contact, then made a 'come here' gesture with his head. "Armitage," he said softly.

Hux exhaled and moved in closer. He put his hand gingerly on Poe's hip, moving his body roughly parallel but a couple inches off. When he seemed somewhat settled, Poe put his hand over Hux's and gently pulled it around his waist, putting it against his belly, over the pajamas. After a beat, Hux's fingers flexed slightly. "Come closer," Poe whispered. "Right up against me. It's okay."

Hux did, the line of his body warm against Poe's back. Hux lifted his other arm and moved Poe's hair. Hux put his face against the hair, then pushed it out of the way. Poe could feel the man's breath against his neck as he experimented and adjusted the position so Poe's wayward mop wasn't tickling him. Yes – it was a good thing Poe was facing away and Hux's hand was high enough not to feel anything that might throw him off of this.

"Lights, out," Hux commanded. The room was dipped into darkness, the only illumination coming from the star field on the view screen.

Poe stroked the back of Hux's hand slowly, feeling the other man's breathing slow and deepen. He hugged the arm to him, feeling the knife scabbard around it. "You wear that to bed?"

Hux snorted softly. "I also wear it to shower and bathe. What better time to have a weapon at hand than when people think you will be defenseless? That's when they're most likely to cause trouble."

"Have you ever had to use it on someone like that?"

"I have had to remind a few people that I had it. That was all that was required. But had I not, things would have gone badly for me."

"Huh." He moved his hand back to Hux's, feeling along the fingers. They were smooth and soft as he would have expected for someone of his position. He turned the hand over and petted it, getting a shiver from Hux. Poe smiled, but didn't do it again. Poe held his hand, awkwardly because of the position, right hand to right hand with Hux reaching around from behind him. Hux gripped back and pressed his head to the side of Poe's.

"Ever held hands with anyone?" Poe asked.

"Not like this," Hux said with a relaxed voice. "Corporal Draxis, after we were shot down on Lothal during a botched mission to defend the ore crawlers." Hux shifted his grip on Poe's hand, holding it more firmly. "She died. I've always wondered if she would have survived if I'd torn myself away and tried to do something with the medpack. But she wouldn't let go. I was barely more than a cadet at the time."

Hux chuckled dryly after a moment of silence. "I suppose that's not the romantic memory you should have liked to hear. My life has not gifted me with a surplus of light and happy things to relate."

"It's okay," Poe said. "You stayed with her to the end. It's not romance. It's empathy."

"I should have done what was necessary. Like this business with the Downs. It would be simpler and not so dangerous. Every one of these 'steps' between us is like a bullet dodged. Enough of them and something's going to hit."

Poe glanced back at him. "We're going to get through this, Hux. We are. Stick with me. Please. Gimme a chance. I will beg you on my knees if you want me to."

Hux chuckled. His voice held a smile. "I will give you that chance." He said no more.

Poe wasn't sure when Hux went to sleep, because Poe found himself dropping off before that happened. But it had to have happened at some point. Poe woke at the feeling of someone loosely clawing at his gut, Hux's body twitching forward a few times. Hux gasped and jerked backwards. His breathing was fast. Hux rolled over onto his back, a hand flopping to his forehead. His breathing began to slow as he panted open-mouthed.

Poe looked over at him. The star field had been replaced by a nebula. Red and gold light played over them both. Hux was staring at the ceiling, his fingers moving irregularly. Poe knew better than to ask if he was okay. Eventually, Hux rolled over of his own accord and snuggled up to Poe again, holding him tighter and burying his face against Poe's shoulder. He didn't speak. He just went back to sleep. A little later, Poe did as well.

Poe woke next with Hux climbing over him to leave the bed. Poe managed to stroke his fingers over Hux's forearm as he went, but Hux didn't stay. He went to the refresher and began preparing for the new day. Poe sprawled a little, but not for long. He leaned on the doorway of the refresher and watched as Hux finished cleaning his teeth.

"You may use my things if you'd like," Hux offered.

"That's … Thanks," Poe said, stepping forward. "I'd like to run my hands through your hair, though."

"I beg your pardon?"

The tone was more questioning than arch, but Poe stopped anyway. "I was thinking I wouldn't get another chance after you were done getting ready."

"Ah. You enjoy that?" Hux moved closer and Poe raised his hands. He smoothed back the messy, orange-gold hair, then threaded his fingers through to comb it back.

"Oh yeah, I enjoy this," Poe purred.

Hux made a pleased sigh and smiled at the floor. "It's been very pleasant to have you here." His voice was warm.

It was Hux's grateful, pleasured response that Poe liked the most. He chuckled slowly. "You know, I've had some nice nights in my time, but I've never had one as comfortable as that. It was … really nice, to be with you. Thank you." He pressed the tips of his fingers to the man's skull and made small circles, heading from front to back.

"That's, ah," Hux said, enjoying the scalp massage. "You're welcome. I was concerned I woke you, last night. Mm." He put a hand on Poe's midsection as though to steady himself.

Poe glanced down at the hand and decided it wasn't an attempt to push him away. He continued, cradling the back of Hux's head now. "You did. But that was okay. I hope it helped to have someone with you for that. Does that happen a lot – the nightmares?"

"More recently than before. When Snoke was alive, I rested easier, when I rested at all, knowing it was all his fault." Hux chuckled and tilted his head back, rolling it from side to side in Poe's grasp with a heavy, fulfilled sigh. "Now I don't have that excuse."

Poe looked at the exposed throat right in front of him, freshly shaved, smooth and pink. Hux's eyes were shut; his breathing heavy and relaxed, lips parted. Poe's fingers were on the back of his neck, cupping the sides with his hands. It was so tempting to lean forward just the few inches between them and do something – a kiss, a nibble, a bite. But he wouldn't. He got so much of a thrill from the trust Hux put in him. "Are you on that hormone treatment the stormtroopers are on?"

Hux opened his eyes to look at Poe. "Why do you ask? Do you imagine I might meet more of your needs that way?" There was an acid edge to Hux's words. His muscles tensed.

"Hey," Poe said softly, trying to defuse the hurt, "seeing how hot you are takes care of everything I need met." He dropped his hands to Hux's shoulders.

"No," Hux answered after a beat. "I am not. I've always been as I am." He pulled away from Poe's hands and began to undress for the shower. Just … right there in front of him, just like he'd changed into pajamas the night before. Poe wasn't sure if he should ogle or not. He compromised by looking in the mirror. The grand marshal might be small-framed and just as pasty as Poe had claimed about him, but he was in excellent shape. It was a nice body to admire.

Hux glanced at the mirror and said, "You really do like what you see?"

"Oh yeah."

"Then … is there some manner of reciprocation I should provide to make this an ongoing arrangement between us?"

"No, I-" Poe cut himself off as the full impact of Armitage's carefully chosen words hit him. "Um, an ongoing arrangement?" That could be anything from 'let's do this again' to a kriffing marriage proposal. He had the immediate impression the ambiguity was intentional.

"I would like to continue this with you." Hux put his pajamas on the counter and stepped into the shower. He did indeed leave the knife on for showering.

"Yeah, I'd like that, too. But do you mean us? Like … long term? Just us?"

Hux hesitated before turning on the shower. He looked back. "Are you suggesting exclusivity?"

Hux's tone was so carefully neutral that Poe was certain he wasn't talking about a single next time here. The man was trying to coolly, carefully, scout something out – Poe would have sworn to it. "Oh," Poe said softly, his face showing wonder, "we really are talking about this, aren't we?" Poe had never planned … never imagined this whole thing might lead somewhere.

But then he remembered where he was (in the guy's quarters, fresh out of his bed), and why (because Hux wanted him here when by code he should have been in the brig), and what that meant (that Hux was willing to defy whatever social sanctions the Order had about fraternizing with the enemy, to be with him). Hux was  _already_  showing how committed he was.

Poe tried to continue in a normal tone, but it came out uneven, like a nervous teenager. "Uh … I'm not seeing anyone else right now." But was he comfortable never seeing anyone ever again except the occasional times he saw Hux? He might be. Poe wasn't sure how to process that. His voice came out too breathy. "You?"

"I've never been with anyone  _but_  you," Hux said surprisingly gently. "But was that not what you were suggesting?" And yet still with the uninflected neutrality when it came to asking the question. Poe recalled Hux's boast about being a good liar. He would hate to play sabacc with the guy.

"No, I'm not-, I-, I don't know," Poe stammered. He looked over at Hux, who was nearly naked, standing in the shower stall, waiting stoically for his answer. The guy could not have picked a more vulnerable-appearing moment. Even assuming Hux had done it on purpose didn't lessen the impact. "What do you want?"

"For you to find this rewarding enough to continue it." Hux pursed his lips tensely, studying Poe's face intently. "That's all."

"I want to continue it," Poe said. This part, at least, was easy to answer. His voice recovered and strengthened. "I'm satisfied just with what we're doing, as long as it works for you." He leaned closer, putting his hands on either side of the entry to the shower stall. "I have really, truly enjoyed what we've done together." Poe glanced off to the side to think about it before looking back to Hux's eyes. "It's been simple, uncomplicated, and comfortable. I feel good about the time I spend with you. I leave feeling like," Poe smiled rakishly and shrugged one shoulder, "like the biggest hotshot in the galaxy because we do this. Yeah, I want to keep doing it."

Hux exhaled slowly. "Good." His lips moved like he wanted to say more, but then he turned and switched on the shower.

Poe scrubbed at his face and turned to examine the grooming supplies. Or at least pretend to do so as he tried to figure out where in his life Hux fit. Clearly, this was no longer a lark or a weird interrogation/get-to-know-you thing. He liked the guy. He liked him a lot.

And Hux would not be asking where he stood on this stuff unless Hux … had feelings, too. Or so Poe assumed. He had to squash the concern that Hux was only being mercenary, or that there was anything wrong with being mercenary about it when you had a background like that of Armitage Hux. He'd known this from the beginning about the guy – that he'd be a tough nut to crack and Hux might come at it from a totally different angle than Poe was anticipating. For Poe to run off at the first sign of success would be crazy. He had to remind himself this wasn't the first sign. Sixth step, indeed.

Poe picked up the razor. He was about to use the razor of Grand Marshal Armitage Hux of the First Order. The guy himself was taking a shower right behind him. No, he wasn't going to run off. Poe shook his head and went about shaving.

"You want me in there with you?" Poe asked as he finished with his face.

"No," Hux answered. "I'm naked." His tone had an element of 'of course not!' as though his nakedness made the answer obvious.

Poe made a consternated look over his shoulder. "That's usually the idea … Armitage." He almost used one of his usual endearments, but the memory of Kylo getting bent out of shape over casual nicknames ran through his head. Besides, the novelty of the man's first name hadn't worn off yet.

The shower clicked off. "I don't understand," Hux said, looking at him.

Poe turned to face him. "That's usually the idea. You're naked. The other person's naked. You shower together, bathe each other. Other people might do other things, but I'd figure we'd just get clean together."

"Hm." Hux considered it like it was a new concept. Poe scratched at his forehead with his thumb, trying to hide the grin that wanted to get out. He wondered how people in the First Order managed to reproduce at all, but then again, maybe this naiveté was limited to the grand marshal (and stormtroopers, if Rose was to be believed). Poe found it charming and innocent. Hux said, "Perhaps next time," and activated the air dry cycle, then exited and took down a towel to finish. "Do you want to shower?"

"Yeah, yeah." Poe undressed and stepped into the stall, examining the control panel.

"The top button," Hux said. "The temperature controls are on the second row. My preset should be fine to start and you can adjust it from there."

"Got it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and 'Rough and Tumble' were the core of this whole story.


	30. Epilogue

It was just after dawn when the Imperial shuttle dropped Poe off at the landing field near Rathstand. A pair of stormtroopers walked him down the ramp and uncuffed him. It was a ridiculous exercise in security theater, given that he'd spent the night in the grand marshal's arms. Poe was still floating on cloud nine about that, for all that he was on the ground now.

He turned to the troopers. "Thanks, guys. You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to next time." He blew one of them a kiss. They simply stared at him, so he sauntered off towards Rey, Finn, and Kylo, who were waiting for him next to the freighter.

"Did all go well?" Kylo asked when he reached them. The shuttle was taking off with a swoosh.

"Oh, it was terrific," Poe said with a big grin. "Hux was a perfect gentleman as always – nice dinner, good conversation, drinks, the works. I just love him. We're gonna get married and have, what's the population of these two planets? Half a million? Yeah, we'll have half a million adopted kids together. It'll be perfect."

All three of them stared at him, equally flummoxed at the announcement. Finn was the first to decide it was a joke and start laughing.

"No, really," Poe said disarmingly. "It went good." He fished out two data cards from his pocket. "One of these is what he and I worked up on the different schools. The other is a list of the slave rings he's fine with us busting."

Rey reached out and snatched the second card from him. "Are you serious?" This was much more important to her than whatever else he'd been talking about.

"Yeah," Poe said, nodding. "About all of it, but especially that."

"What?" Finn finally said. "Are you on spice? Drugs? Something? Let me see that other card." Finn snagged the other data card.

"No." Poe shook his head. Kylo was still studying him like he'd grown a second head. "It's just all working out," Poe said. "Me and him."

"Nope," Finn said. "You have got to be putting me on. All of us. I don't believe any of that. Except fine, you got dinner and talked. And however you got these." He held up the card he'd taken.

Poe reached up and brushed his hand over his cheek, showing it to Finn. "You see this?" Finn looked. Poe asked, "Do they let people shave in the brig?" He gestured at his hair. "Wash their hair? Use aftershave? Use  _Hux's_  aftershave?"

Finn's lips trembled. He looked at Kylo and Rey. Kylo took a quick step forward and inhaled a couple quick sniffs. His mouth moved and he stepped back, then looked upwards as though at the star destroyers in orbit.

"Well?" Finn asked Kylo.

Kylo looked at Poe and shrugged helplessly. "Congratulations?"

"Is there a date?" Rey asked, not as perplexed as the two men who knew Hux mostly from working with him and thus were having severe cognitive dissonance.

"Nah," Poe said. "I haven't even proposed. But it's getting serious. I thought he did, but he walked it back real fast. We're getting there. And I want you guys to know that I'm telling you this so you understand what the stakes are here. We are really getting somewhere with these guys. I got them off the  _Restitution_  as well. He's going to send some trooper units down and they'll be under  _our_  command. Mine, specifically, but I'll delegate."

Rey looked confused. "Are you … using him?"

Poe hesitated for a moment. His chest felt weird. He realized that's what it sounded like, how things had started, and that was not where it was at now. He pursed his lips and looked down, breathing out a hard breath. He looked up at her. "No." He couldn't believe it, but he felt his eyes water. He blinked and straightened, changing the subject fast. "Let's go talk about our mission. And how's Steel? Last I saw, he was bleeding on things."

"Steel's fine," Kylo said softly. "Dean Mulhale agreed to take him in. They have a good medbay. He should be out later this morning."

XXX

Poe grinned at the grassy plains they were passing over and the herd of massive tremor-oxen that lumbered faster at the sight of them flying by on their way to the governor's estate. "This is fantastic. Just everything. The more I think about it, the more fantastic it is. I just want to tell everyone about it! I know I shouldn't, and I won't, but I'm going to tell you guys because I have to tell someone. He really likes me. It's amazing! And I like him. He is the funniest guy ever and I don't mean his sense of humor. He's just-" Poe shook his head and sighed happily.

From the co-pilot's seat, Rey raised a brow at him. But Poe wasn't looking. He was just babbling joyfully.

He went on, "He's a nice guy. I mean, you wouldn't expect that, would you?" He looked over and she shook her head obediently although honestly, Hux had never struck her as all that bad. He'd gotten her a fruit basket and a box of candy and stuff just because. He'd made arrangements for her to stay with Kylo just in case. He'd been polite and amused about Kylo oversleeping in her room and not rubbed it in. He was thoughtful! Okay, maybe he'd designed a mega-weapon and blown up a star system, but she had no idea how to handle the convoluted ethics of that.

Poe was nodding. "Yeah, no one would expect that." He grinned more widely. "That's what I love about this. I mean, who else is going to look at that guy and think they've got a chance with him? He's good-looking, sure, but he is so, so off-putting. Just intimidating. He's in your face. Brash. Loud. Full of himself. Doesn't want anything to do with anybody!" Poe waited a beat. "Except me. That is so sweet."

Then he said, "The things he's done." Poe sighed. The smile faltered, then warmed. "Did you know he held the hand of one of his officers while they died? He was there for her. He's loyal. He's kind. He's just the greatest guy. Innocent. Charming. Nice fellow."

Rey drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. The emotions rolling off Poe were so pure, they were almost overwhelming to her. "Does Hux know you feel this strongly about him?"

"Oh," Poe gave her a look. "I tried to play it cool, you know? I can't be all pushy with him. Gotta let him set the pace or else he'll run. Or attack." Poe chuckled. "I've definitely never slept with anyone else I thought had a real chance of slipping a blade between my ribs, so, like, yeah, I let him go first. But he  _did_ , Rey. He totally did. It was his idea!

"He wants to get together again. He was asking me what we needed to do to make sure we do this … more. Not just 'hey, that was nice, I'm going to miss you', which was a big deal, too, when it happened, but actually, 'hey, I'm really insecure you're not going to come back and it matters a lot to me that you do, so what can I do to make sure this works out for both of us'? It's love. It just is. For someone like him to go that far – the things he was saying, the way he was saying them, staging things – ah, he's got it bad for me, too. I can tell."

"I can certainly tell you have it 'bad' for him," Rey said with a chuckle.

Poe grinned at her happily. "I do. I love this part of getting with someone. I love it. He's so …" He sighed.

"Yes, you've told me," she said. "Have you told  _him_?"

Poe looked over at her and blinked a few times. "What do you mean? He knows. I think?" He thought for a moment. "You think I ought to propose to him? For real?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know!" Poe sighed and nodded. He reached up and touched his shirt, or something under it. "Kind of. Yeah. I want to. I think I should. I ought to just send him a note. No, I need to do it in person. Damn it, I should have done something before I left!"

"You'll have another chance," she reassured him.

"Yeah," Poe nodded. "I will. Definitely. That'd be better anyway. Not to rush things. Do you think that's rushing things? I've only seen him a few times. We're barely on a first name basis here."

"I don't really know. Maybe that's rushing things?" She shrugged. "From what Steel said, marriage in the Order wasn't a big deal. But he might not be the best source of information."

"Oh, I think this will be a big deal to Hux. To have someone say they want him and want to be with him? That guy has some issues. He hides them pretty good, but I see them."

Rey gave him a look. Most people could see Hux had 'issues'.

"What about you and Kylo?" Poe asked.

It was a simple extension of what they'd been talking about, but it still caught Rey off-guard. "What do you mean?"

"What about you two? Are things still good?"

"Yes, they're great." She was quiet. Poe looked at her thoughtfully. She said, "I want to propose to him, I'm ready to, but I haven't decided when. I don't know if I should wait until a special moment, or if I should just tell him right away."

"Tell him right away," Poe said after a moment.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Tell him. Didn't he propose to you already? Multiple times? Those weren't all big special moments, were they? I'm pretty sure some of them were just him in meetings looking across the table at you and being all, 'I'm totally open to marrying you anytime you want, babe!' right in front of everyone. I was there." Poe laughed. "That man is shameless, fearless, and honest when it comes to you."

Rey sighed. "He knows how I feel. He knows I love him. I think he wouldn't be nearly so patient with this if he didn't. It's just a symbol, after all."

"It's a promise. A commitment. That's what threw me at first with Armie. Armitage? I mean, that's just too long a name. I've got to ask him if I can call him 'sweetheart' or something. 'Arm' or 'Army' sounds weird. Anyway, it's a symbol of something important. Is it something you're okay with?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation with that.

"Then just ask him." Poe looked at her. She rubbed her thumbs together in her lap. "Nervous, huh? You know, sometimes it's better just to get these things out of the way than letting them drag on. You want me to ask him?" Poe said with a mischievous smile.

"What? No! You were just talking about Hux! Why would you propose to Kylo?"

"What?" Poe looked confused, then laughed. "No, I'm not going to ask Kylo to marry me! Nope, my heart is entirely in Hux's hands right now. But I mean, you want me to call him up here and tell him you have something to ask him?"

"Uh … now?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, sure." Poe didn't wait further. He raised his voice, "Hey! Kylo! Come up here to the bridge."

"I didn't, I don't-" Rey started.

Kylo arrived with a measured tread to his steps, face flushed, lips pressed together firmly, eyes wet. Rey stared up at him.

Poe smirked. "Oh yeah. Rey's got something to ask you, but you already know that. There's something about the acoustics of these freighters. You say anything up here and it reverbs through the whole ship, doesn't it?"

Kylo went to one knee beside her chair as her mouth fell open somewhat. "You don't have to kneel," Rey said when she finally found her voice.

"I know." Kylo smiled softly at her and took each of her hands in his. "I never  _have to_  kneel again."


	31. The Extra Chapter No One Asked For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much what the title says. The group gets to the governor's estate, Finn settles in on the communications equipment as Kylo and Poe set off on a side project of Kylo's - getting the corpses out of the streets and moved somewhere ... better. Along the way, they talk about things.

"How many more are there to go?" Poe asked.

Finn pushed over the datapad. "Those." He turned and punched in signal settings for the next school on the list. "You guys don't really need to be here, you know," Finn said over his shoulder.

Poe frowned. Across the table, Kylo said, "Scroll."

"What?" Poe looked at him. Kylo gestured at the datapad. "Oh." Poe realized what he meant. It wasn't just the one screen of names. The list scrolled by and he rolled his eyes and put the pad down before he saw the end of it. "Oh wow. We're going to be here all day contacting all these guys. Or for days." Finn chuckled, but was then distracted with talking on the comm. To Kylo, Poe said quietly, "I don't know if I can do this. Seriously. I need a break already. Something physical where I can see what I'm accomplishing." He shook his head.

"I've been thinking about better uses of my time as well," Kylo said soberly. Poe looked at him hopefully. "Would you help me collect the dead for disposal?"

Poe's brows rose. His nose wrinkled. His mouth twisted in a grimace. "Oh." He was no longer hopeful. "Oh, yeah." He sniffed. "That … does need to be done, doesn't it?"

Kylo nodded. "Someone has to do it. Eight year olds, teenagers, and over-worked teachers are not in the best position."

Poe drew in a deep breath and rubbed his face, imagining (or trying not to) what he was getting into if he said yes. "I respect you, Kylo, for even thinking about that at a time like this. Some of them have probably been dead more than a week."

"Maybe two. In a temperate climate. Yes, I know what I'm asking. That's why I was hoping I wouldn't have to do it alone. I can use the Force to move them. It would be nice to have someone to drive a transport and … bring a shovel."

"That's disgusting." Poe stood slowly. "Yeah. Well. Let's get to it."

XXX

"What are we going to do with these guys once we have the transport loaded?" Poe asked as Kylo floated body number six onto the mover platform.

"Mass grave?"

Poe nodded. The stench was bad, but not as much as he'd feared. Most of the deaths looked recent, as they'd begun to run out of food in different areas and the situation had rapidly worsened.

"Without power, we can't put them in refrigeration, not that I think there would be a point to it anyway." Kylo moved upwind. "Incineration is standard, but again – no power. The Order isn't particular about identifying them. I saw how they handled things after the Battle of Crait. It's not like they have families to mourn them. They'll figure out who's left after and deduct the missing."

Poe gave the pile of corpses a resigned look. "No families to mourn them. So that's it? They're just gone?"

Kylo nodded slowly, then swallowed and sighed. He looked very sad.

"Hey," Poe said in gentle teasing, "I wasn't implying  _you_  needed to mourn them."

"I should. I set this chain of events into motion."

Poe looked him up and down, taking in the haunted look on Kylo's face. "No, you didn't." Kylo blinked at him. "When my mother died, you were just a kid. And before that, your grandfather?" Poe turned his hands in a palms-up shrug. "This conflict began before you were even born. You didn't start it. What you've done, Kylo, is end it." Poe saw Kylo stand a little taller at that.

Poe took a step closer to the former supreme leader. "We have a whole planet full of kids here, an entire generation, that might never know war because of what you've done. And the most noble thing we can do right now is make sure they don't have to see the people they used to know, dead and rotting like garbage, as they go back to school or to go to get food from the supply ships. Let's keep going."

XXX

"Do you know how to operate one of these?" Poe asked as Kylo settled himself in the cockpit of the excavator.

"No idea. Do you?" Poe shook his head. Kylo pointed at some buttons. "That looks like the ignition sequence." He pressed one and the console lit up but the engine didn't come on. "It still has power. But what do these levers do?" He gestured at them.

Poe shook his head again. "You can't dig a hole with the Force, huh?"

"I suppose I could," Kylo said. "It feels blasphemous, though."

"Blasphemous? Like there's a religious code that governs how you should use it?"

Kylo gave him a mystified look. "Of course."

"What are you looking at me like that for? How would I know?"

"Jedi, Sith – that's all they are – codes for how to use the Force and live one's life. What's appropriate, what's not. How to believe and think."

"Oh," Poe said. "I thought they were more like instruction manuals. That's kind of been the tone for those books Rey read to me."

"She … read the ancient Jedi texts to you?"

"Yeah. So?"

Kylo blinked at him. "That's. Also. Blasphemous. You … should not know that. She shouldn't have done that." Kylo struggled to find another polite way to say that was a serious breach, but all he could come up with was, "She probably didn't know how wrong that was."

"What?" Poe laughed. "What does it even matter? It's not like I can use the Force. And it was kind of cool to hear. Interesting philosophy stuff for the most part."

"You-" Kylo huffed and shook his head. "That's very private. It shouldn't be disclosed to those null in the Force."

Poe chuckled. "Well, your secret's out. And look! The whole universe didn't implode because some guy listened in while one of your books was read out loud."

Kylo rolled his eyes. "Yes, fine." He shook his head again and looked at the controls. "I could get this started, but I'm wary of just trying things at random. Is there anyone in the Resistance who's driven something like this who could walk us through it?"

Poe thought for a moment. "I think Rose mentioned she was from a mining planet."

Kylo looked skeptical. "Just being from a mining planet doesn't mean she knows how to operate mining equipment."

Poe pulled out his comm link and rang up the Restitution, then had them put him through to Rose Tico. "Hey, Rose, Kylo and I are down here with an excavator we're trying to get going. Have you ever driven one of these?"

"Uh … no. What kind of excavator? I might have done repairs on them."

"That's a good start." Poe leaned out and looked at the identifying information painted on the side panel. He related it to Rose.

"Okay, yeah, I've seen those before. What are you trying to do?"

"Dig a hole. A big one. About as deep as a person is tall, wide as a person is tall, and … I don't know, long."

"Is it … like, for trench warfare? What's going on down there?"

Poe shook his head even though she couldn't see it. "No, no. It's, uh, a grave. A mass grave. We're trying to, uh, put the bodies somewhere."

"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. Something's got to be done. But how do we get this unit to do it?"

"Why aren't you using the auto-function for it? It's just a hole, right?"

"Yeah. What's the auto-function?"

"There should be mech-droids or specialized labor droids that help operate the machines. You can explain to them what you want and if it's not very complicated, then they can program the excavator. Then you just move it to the location and start it up."

Kylo nodded and gestured towards the way they'd entered the vast garage. "I saw some droids over there, but I thought they were just for repair."

"Okay. Thanks a bundle, Rose. We can take it from here," Poe told her and signed out.

XXX

They stood off to the side, watching as the digging commenced. "Something I've been meaning to ask you," Poe said, "is about consent."

"What about it?" Kylo asked.

"With the Force. What are your thoughts?"

Kylo huffed. "That's so broad a topic. What do you mean?"

"We had that thing happen with Finn and Nera. Then that other thing with you and Finn." Kylo glanced at him uneasily. "Then there's a whole lot between you, your people, and Snoke that I'd like to understand better solely so it never happens again. As much as I'd love to say, 'Hey, Snoke's dead so everyone's safe', that's not how it works." He gave Kylo a look to be sure he wasn't giving offense.

Kylo shrugged. Half a day of humbling, gross, menial labor had gained them enough comfort with one another to talk about something like this. But Kylo wasn't actually talking.

"Okay, so to take an example," Poe started talking, "with Finn and you. That sounded pretty clear-cut to me. He was unconscious, you did something with his mind. Can you read someone's mind when they're out?"

Kylo gave him a side-eye. "He was not unconscious. He was rattled, stunned. He was still on his feet and capable of basic actions, but not understanding anything complex. I didn't read his thoughts so much as detect where in his body he was experiencing pain. I may have seen thoughts at the same time. I wasn't paying attention to them and don't remember. It's the same power, just listening to something different in the person's mind."

Poe considered that. "Okay. So … still clear-cut. It's the same if a medic wants to treat you and they go through your pockets for ID and give you treatment without consulting you, assuming Finn was in the same state."

Kylo nodded. "I did not consider it a breach of his free will. I do think it was of his privacy in a general way, but as soldiers on a mission, we have an obligation to support and care for one another. My default assumption will be that if I can provide help, I will. I would be more hesitant with a random member of your crew, for example. Unless I thought they might die immediately, I would try to refer them to your medical staff. They aren't my people."

"So that's that chain of command thing, right?"

"Yes."

"Then there's what Nera did to Finn."

"In the conference room?" Poe nodded. Kylo went on, "That was also clear-cut. She did something most people would consider inappropriate. However, she wasn't aware there was anything seriously objectionable about it. I have corrected her on this."

"Okay. Good that we agree on that."

Kylo said, "Here is something more ambiguous that has been troubling me recently. A Force user with significant mental powers and sensitivity will detect thoughts when loudly contemplated, even unintentionally. So one could sit in a crowd and listen passively, catching … thoughts. It probably wouldn't reveal anything too private, but it might and others around you wouldn't be aware of what you were doing. What are your feelings on that?"

Poe smiled a little. "I know you're talking about Nera."

Kylo sighed. "Yes. Except that it has not been entirely unintentional. She could close herself off. She instead listens intently."

"I want to say that's wrong."

"So do I," Kylo said, trying to gage Poe's response. "But it's  _listening_. I tried to explain the difference to her and she asked why we do not wear filtering headphones so we can't overhear conversations we're not participating in. She asked why I don't close myself to the Force so I can't get premonitions or detect things that people are trying to conceal from me.

"I use the Force often to heighten my senses so I pick up details most would miss. Is that wrong? Is what she's doing wrong? Would it be right if everyone knew what she was doing? Does it matter that she has difficulty with Basic and is perceiving people's impressions to translate their spoken words?"

"She does?"

"Yes."

Poe pursed his lips. "She's using it as a support? Like if someone was blind and they were using the Force to see?"

"Yes. I have- In the First Order, I always used my ability to identify people, to feel them around me. It was constant, so I knew people through the helmets. I've … done it on the Restitution as well. I know when people pass outside our doors and sometimes I'll pick up hostility or fear. I don't read their thoughts – it's just an impression of them, but the ethics are … murky."

"Oh wow," Poe said. "That's interesting. You don't read their thoughts, but you, like, see their mental face? And can see whatever strong emotion they're feeling?"

"More or less."

He thought about it for a while. "I don't have a problem with that, myself. But Nera's case is … that bothers me more. At the same time, I don't want to say she can't use it to understand, if she actually needs it."

"It's not an excuse. She needs it in some form. She could work around it, but it would involve work and," Kylo sighed, "I do not wish to make her take on additional emotional and mental challenges at this time. She's held together very well, considering what she lost when Snoke died. If you rule against this that she's doing, then I would attempt to persuade you to let her have a week or two more before observing different boundaries."

"I don't get to rule on this, you know?" Poe said. "We're just talking. I want your take on it. You're the one with the powers and I've gathered that you've put a lot of thought into this stuff. More than I have. You've been on both ends of it. Just in the time on Naboo, you changed your game. Hux talked about it, too. He noticed."

Kylo smiled a little to be told that people had noticed. "I've told Nera to be as discreet as possible. I am aware this could be a problem."

"Does Rey or Steel know?"

"Yes, of course."

"What do they think?"

"That she should be careful not to get caught, but since she's not using it for ill purposes, it's fine." He shrugged one shoulder. "Of course, Steel wouldn't care what she was using it for, but we all know we need to have a good reputation."

"Speaking of Steel, does he have any mental powers I'd need to worry about if he wanted to date someone, or get in a business arrangement, or even just play sabacc?"

"He's lousy at sabacc." Poe waited for the rest of the answer. Kylo glanced at him uneasily. "I do not wish to share the details of another's abilities in the Force like that. A few nonspecific things …"

"I'm not asking for details. It's a yes-or-no question. Give me a yes, no, don't know, or maybe."

"No. He has no powers you need to worry about in that context."

"Okay. Does Nera?"

"Yes."

Poe nodded. "Okay. I'd figured that out, obviously, but just making sure we're on the same wavelength here. You consider yourself and Rey in that category?"

"Yes."

"Okay. You think I should do anything about any of it?"

"No. We're not part of the Resistance. Rey is, I suppose. If you have complaints about my people, direct them to me and I'll try to solve them. If it becomes untenable, we'll leave."

Poe shook his head. "I don't want that to happen."

Kylo gave him a side-eye but said nothing. For a while, they watched as the excavator finished out the pit. Poe said, "It's not guilt by accusation, you know? If someone makes a criminal complaint against you, and I figure there are laws in the New Republic about the Force, then it would go through normal channels. I'll try to settle most stuff through arbitration first."

"Theoretically, what would happen if I refused to acknowledge that the law of the New Republic was binding on me?"

Poe shrugged. "Ben Solo is still a citizen. But aside from that, I don't know. It's not like the First Order honors New Republic laws. They're directly opposed to it. There are outlaw gangs and Outer Rim planets that don't acknowledge it either. I'm not a lawyer. If it comes up, we can look into it. Okay?"

Kylo nodded. "Okay." The excavator completed its task and moved off to the side. "Now to get the first batch of bodies in."

"First batch?"

"It's a big city."


	32. Poe/Hux Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise titled as 'The Extra Chapter That Was Asked For'.
> 
> I would imagine this would be during or immediately before the First Order sits down with the leadership of the Republic worlds (and what there is of the Resistance) to hammer out the details of the new government. Somewhere posh in the New Republic, probably on a core world. This is in whatever suite or room Hux has. He selected one with a hot tub (in modern day US, tends to be called a Honeymoon suite, so make of that what you will). This particular one is modeled off a natural spring/hot pool with stone ledges (natural, because that's more expensive when you live in a technologically advanced society) and a rock bottom.
> 
> This is also Poe getting a little more background on how closely intertwined the First Order is with elements of the leadership of the New Republic. This is canon stuff, but I'm confused why the Star Wars materials don't make a bigger deal out of it. I mean, it's the whole reason for the creation of the Resistance! Taking out the Hosnian system really parallels Kylo killing Snoke in a lot of ways. It cuts the First Order free of a corrupt leadership structure that was destructively using the Order for their own ends. I enjoyed having the opportunity to write that.

Hux slipped into the warm water of the hot tub. It was the perfect temperature, with natural stone benches around the sides and a layer of smooth, rounded stones on the bottom. Hux's brows pulled together as he looked down at that weird choice of flooring. It made for an uneven, treacherous surface. He didn't like it. His feet moved a few back and forth, moving the stones as he considered the lack of wisdom of putting this on the bottom of the tub. The stillness of the water was broken by Poe climbing in.

Hux wrapped his toes around one of the rocks and brought it up to his hand. He plucked it from his foot and examined it. "Basalt, I think." He remembered the sandy beach and the cliffs of Grafson Academy, the first they'd set up on Lanson Down. Between the flat sand and vertical cliff had been a rockfall of tumbled stone. The ones up high were jagged and cubical. Lower down, the relentless force of the ocean had worn them smooth like the one he was holding in his hand.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what? The stone? It's not very complicated geology." Plus, he'd had to listen to his father's tiresome analogy about how the gradual application of power could change the shape of the hardest material, literally, from a cube into a sphere (or at least an ellipsoid). It had been preceded with a bit about the igneous formation of basalt, the pressures of the planetary core, blah, blah, blah.

Hux could hear the man's voice in his head even now, crusty and growling and intimidating even after all these years. He'd always listened carefully when his father spoke, repeating everything he said over and over in his head so he could recount it at a moment's notice. To do otherwise was life-threatening.

"No, with your foot. Did you just pick that up with your toes?"

"Yes?" Hux smiled at how Poe didn't care a whit about the nature of the rock or all that complicated, semi-existential nonsense. He only cared about Hux's ability to grip things with his foot. At Poe's disbelieving look, Hux clutched another stone neatly between big toe and the next, then lifted his foot high enough to be out of the water so Poe could see it. "Like this?" He gave Poe an amused look.

Poe's brows rose. He reached out, and instead of taking the stone from Hux's foot, he cupped his heel. "How flexible are you?"

Oh! Not the toe thing, then. Something sexual, instead. Or at least that was how Hux interpreted it. "Very." Hux chuckled ruefully, because he knew this was an attractive trait in a sexual partner – not that it mattered. He didn't know how he and Poe were going to make this work. Poe Dameron was a man of normal appetites, as far as Hux could tell. And Hux did not share those.

Hux wanted the affection, the approval, the non-judgmental support – and desperately at times, more than he should, more than he wanted to admit. But how to secure it? He didn't have what Poe wanted. He twitched when Poe ran his thumb over the bottom of his heel, but not enough to jerk his foot out of the man's grip.

"You are a very sensitive man," Poe purred, giving no doubt that his thoughts were on the sexual applications of that flexibility. Or sensitivity. "Can I do that again?"

"I suppose." He didn't twitch this time, mainly because he was trying not to. Hux looked at the stone he was still holding between his toes. He tossed it with a flick of his foot. "Am I? Sensitive?" He pushed his foot into Poe's lap, getting a pleased hum as he ran his heel along the top of Poe's thigh, up to his hip. He scooted a little closer. "How many people have you been with, Dameron, that you would judge me against them?"

"A lot. I never kept track. Does that bother you?" Poe trailed his fingers along Hux's shin, up to his knee. That was nice.

"That you don't keep track?"

Poe chuckled. "No, that I've been with other partners."

"No. I suppose I should be, but I find I don't care. You're here. Now." Hux had always had something of a hang-up regarding purity and hygiene. Yet he was rapidly finding that entirely irrelevant when it came to this man. He'd handed over his razor, toothbrush, everything! Climbed into bed and put his face in Poe's hair, inhaled him, and found he wanted that so badly. He wanted exactly what Poe was offering him – desire, appreciation, consideration, respect, soft touching, and the illusion (or reality?) of caring about him. For that, staying clean could go fuck itself. He moved his toes along Poe's soft belly, gripping lightly at the flesh.

"You like that?" Poe said softly. His fingers curled under his leg to Hux's calf, rubbing a little. "Me, here? You like this?"

"As if that were not obvious?" Hux said in a fondly amused tone. "Is that common in the New Republic? That people have many partners?" He swept his foot slowly across Poe's midsection, bumping an erection on the way back.

Poe glanced down at the contact, then at Hux, who raised his brows slightly with mischief. "I don't know," Poe answered. "Not really, I think? I get around more than most." Hux smiled, both pleased and not. That Poe had a range of partners yet was still chasing him? Delicious. That Poe was not easily satisfied and moved on from his partners? Depressing. "Have you ever been to any New Republic worlds?" Poe asked.

"Many, yes." Hux slid his foot between Poe's legs, along the inside of his thigh. Poe's brows shot up and he grabbed the edge of the stone he was sitting on. Hux smirked. "During war, famine, unrest, as paid enforcers for factions in the Senate who couldn't achieve their aims any other way." He pressed forward, finding the base of Poe's penis and getting an almost goofy look from the man. Poe's lips parted and the top of his chest flushed. Hux wasn't sure he was being listened to. He didn't care. He wasn't his father and he preferred the idea that he was moving Poe to insensibility.

"That's the thing about the law," Hux went on, slowly, carefully grinding his foot over Poe. "It's not a suggestion. When they pass a law, they are promising pain, death, and destruction on whosoever breaks it. Should the police or military refuse to enforce them because they're inhumane or problematic, don't be surprised when your disaffected politicians find people who will." He moved those toes – just recently demonstrated as being capable of this – so that they gripped at either side of Poe's shaft. Hux pushed up and then down, adjusting the positioning.

"Oh kriff," Poe said, huffing and grinning like he couldn't believe what he was getting. He looked down at what was going on and started slowly rolling his lips into it. "Fu- um. Our politicians? The Republic ones?"

Hux was impressed that Poe could keep up a conversation like this – aroused and stimulated. He wondered how far that focus would go. He found a good spot – toes on the loose skin around the tip, pulling it up and down over the glans, while the line of his foot pressed on the shaft. "Yes. The New Republic voted laws into effect. The military and police powers exercised their 'free will' and refused to enforce some of them. Disorder. Incompetence. Lack of resolve on many fronts." Poe moved one hand from the stone to pet Hux's shin encouragingly.

Hux didn't need the encouragement, he had enough of that in the lust on Poe's face – heavy lids, darker lips, dark eyes fixed on him. Hux went on with an avid interest in Poe's responsiveness. "Those politicians who had been elected to represent various corporations and related entities hired the First Order to do what needed to be done. Others in the New Republic objected, but instead of General Organa taking it up with her own government, she had the gall to form a private army, the Resistance, and bring the fight to us separately, as though that had anything to do with it. It was just a distraction, striking at the sword instead of the swordsman."

Hux paused to switch feet. Poe whimpered and caught the first foot in his hand, pressing his thumb into the arch and rubbing a circle. He reached down with his other hand and helped Hux find the right positioning for the new foot against his groin.

"Oh," Hux asked sweetly, "Is this good?"

"Oh fuck yes," Poe said gratefully. "This is kinky stuff. Getting me off while talking about politics? What a weird turn-on. I love it." And he did seem to. He really looked thrilled. It put a grin on Hux's face as he resumed his attentions with a new foot and enjoyed Poe's distracted rubbing of the other.

"Well, you know," Hux said, thinking he might as well continue talking if Poe was enjoying it, "with Starkiller, we eliminated the source of the problem – the corruption at the top of the organization. I cut the head off the snake and now we have peace in the galaxy. A chance to start over. It's what Ren did by killing Snoke, except on a much larger scale."

Poe slouched down, jutting his hips forward into Hux's pressure. He was panting. "And, fuck, with an entire planetary system of innocents involved."

Hux shrugged indifferently. He was much more interested in the aroused shudder Poe gave. Poe's free hand was at his tip now, tugging quickly. Hux moved his foot down, using the ball of his foot to make careful circles.

"Do you," Poe managed to get out, "feel any guilt?"

"No. Do you want me to? Should I beg for forgiveness for doing what I still think was right? You'll be a long time waiting if that's what you want from me."

"Oh fuck," Poe said, gasping like that was sexually stimulating itself. Then Hux felt the man's hips stutter and fuck forward against his foot a few times as he came. Hux wondered if he should make anything of that or just be pleased his partner (companion? date?) had enjoyed himself so thoroughly. Hux eased off, then put his feet on the uneven stones of the floor. He smirked, happy that he'd found a way to satisfy Poe, at least for the time being.

"Maybe I can find ways to keep your attention after all," Hux said.

"Huh? You have my complete attention," Poe said, looking boneless and relaxed against the other side of the tub.

Hux put his concern into words and got it out in the open between them. "I worry that I do not have what you need for … a relationship."

Poe let his eyes slide shut and his head loll back. "You worry too much."

"Do I?" It was a very serious question, deadly serious.

Poe lifted his head enough to slit his eyes open and look at Hux for the answer: "Yes." Then he let his head rest again. "I've been with enough folks, Armitage, to know it doesn't always work right. People like different things. They're going different places in their lives. They're usually looking for something the other person doesn't have. I love what you're giving me." He grinned lazily, enjoying the post-orgasmic haze. "I think I'm giving you what you want?"

"Yes," Hux said immediately and crisply. He was leaning forward, studying Poe even though the other man was blissed out and relaxed. "You are."

"Then we're good," Poe said with an easy shrug of one shoulder. "You want to get married?"

"What?" It was a forced, fast whisper. Hux blinked at him in shock.

Poe rolled his head to one side and looked at him. "Don't panic, please?"

"I'm not panicking," Hux lied. "I'm just … surprised." He swallowed, eyes fixed on Dameron.

Poe rolled himself back to a more upright sitting position. "Just think about it, okay? I like you a lot. I think I love you."

Hux straightened, his hands gripping his knees tightly. He felt dizzy and potentially unwell. His gut felt icy and it felt like he had to pee.

"Breathe, buddy, okay?" Poe said gently.

"No, I- I- You do?" Hux said, then inanely added, "You're not ill, are you?"

"Lovesick?" Poe teased. "No, don't think so. But I've been so happy lately and it's because I think of you."

Hux blushed red. He knew he did. He could feel his entire body flash with heat. He turned away and put a hand to his face, but that didn't hide the rest of him. He truly was having difficulty breathing. "You're- You're- This is puerile. Overly sentimental. Some emotion from … sex."

"You think so?" Poe said dreamily. "You're going to have to fuck me up some more so I can be sure."

Hux turned scandalized eyes to Dameron. His mouth hung open soundlessly. Poe reached out to touch a few fingers along the back of Hux's hand, where it was still white-knuckled on his own knee, probably leaving bruises on himself. He was holding that hard. A wave of relaxation ran through him and he heaved, finally able to get some oxygen. He slumped back. He still gave Poe a perplexed look. "That's very audacious of you. Marriage? A permanent partnership?"

"You've considered it already," Poe said. "Right? Did I misread last time?"

"No," Hux shook his head and looked away, still breathing hard. "No, you did not. I … have. It's just … I-" He shrugged. "We're on different sides of things. I'm more concerned with how to get you to come back next time. I never imagined you might … what does this mean? What do you think it means? What are you willing to do?"

"I dunno," Poe said. "Talk about it. Find out what we each want and how we can get it. You remember that political alliance you mentioned on Naboo? Maybe something like that? I don't know how it would work if we lived together, but that's not off the table either. Just, yeah, I want to come back next time, too. And a lot after that. For … a long time. Or, just, be with you all the time."

"Consider us engaged, then," Hux said quietly. The gears were already turning in his head.

"That's a yes?" Poe sounded so surprised and thrilled that Hux's brows drew together.

"Why are you so shocked? You're the one who asked! And you thought I'd already-" He snorted.

"Yeah," Poe said, taking one of Hux's hands in both of his own. "But I didn't know you'd- This is a big deal. This is great. No one's ever- Well, I mean, I've never proposed to anyone either so …"

"It's a statement of interest and a promise to work with you in good faith to see if we can build … a life together, I suppose," Hux said seriously.

Poe laughed with a big, toothy grin. "Can I hug you?"

"Yes," Hux said after a moment. Poe's joy was infectious. The hug was awkward at first until Poe shamelessly climbed in Hux's lap to get the proximity he wanted. Hux groaned as Poe ran his hand through Hux's hair and then rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Yeah," Poe whispered in his ear. "I love you."


	33. Fade Out

"I love you," Poe had said. It wasn't 'I  _think_  I love you', but definite. An offer of marriage and a definite statement of love. Hux didn't know what to do with either one of them. The first he could break down into legal and political terms, form a strategy around it, and plan (and it would definitely require such – it wasn't going to be simple to arrange given their positions). The second … he was lost.

Poe was on his lap, fondling his hair and touching his shoulder and back. There was so much skin contact that it, too, was overwhelming. Hux found himself trembling again, as he had the very first time Poe had put his hands on him in the shuttle. He swallowed, looked to the side, and tried to steady himself with the centering exercises he'd used to tolerate Snoke's mental presence. Or his father's abuse.

It was a paradoxical coping mechanism – both accepting of his helplessness and acknowledging that no other had control of him. Only him. He was the master of his thoughts, in control of his limbs, and the one who experienced his reality. No blows, words, or mental pressures would change that. They might change  _him_  – blood might flow, bones might break, memories might warp, intentions might change – but what mattered was that he survived.

He shut his eyes and relaxed slowly, letting the tremors pass. No gentle touch would undo him. The seduction of Poe Dameron would not make him any less Armitage Hux. (Commitment? Love? He tried to ignore it.) Poe was an outside force, a thing to act on him, a storm to be weathered. Or in this case, a glorious spring day to be enjoyed, but the ability to see it as a thing outside of himself was the key.

Hux leaned his head back and combed his own hair out of his face. He was free to do this. His body answered to his call. There were no restraints on him – only choices, decisions. He turned to look into Poe's face with a somewhat restored equilibrium. Poe looked at Hux's hair like it was begging to be tousled again. Hux smirked at him. That, too, the undoing of his actions, would not unsettle him. He sighed happily enough. If Poe ruined him somehow, then Hux would adjust and carry on. That was how it always worked.

Poe left his tempting hair alone, sliding off to sit on the ledge beside him. Poe took Hux's nearer hand and lifted it from the water. "Can I kiss you here? Like this?" He dipped his head slightly with intention.

"If you're not lewd about it. It's a common enough greeting in some circles. At my level." Not generally directed towards men, but it was on occasion. Brendol Hux had made sure his son knew basic pleasantries for the top of the social strata. It came up just often enough in Armitage's life that he appreciated the lessons. He didn't really think about what Poe was doing beyond that much until the man did it.

Poe lifted the hand to his lips, eyes on Hux's face the whole time, as though he had some inkling of the turmoil going on inside. He put pursed lips, softly, to the knuckle of Hux's middle finger. It gave Hux a shiver and a threatened return of his loss of control. No one had ever touched him with their mouth … romantically. No one had ever done a lot of the things for him that this man had. And Poe wanted to  _marry_  him. The smile that appeared on Hux's face was pained as his carefully constructed world wavered.

His whole life had been people looking down on him, hating him, fearing him, and him rising above them out of spite and persevering under their abuse to prove them wrong. Life was a challenge Hux knew how to endure. But this was different. It wasn't his father telling him he was useless and weak-willed while putting him to work no other of his age could shoulder. It wasn't Snoke telling him his passion was zealotry and his rationality was irrational. It was someone looking at him and seeing him as … better. As preferable rather than tolerable. He was shivering again. Dammit.

Poe lifted his lips a few inches away, watching Hux still as he rubbed his thumb up and down on Hux's fingers. "You okay?" Hux nodded, blinked, swallowed, and breathed out unevenly. Poe's face was a treat to see – a small, warm smile that lit up his expression with affectionate regard. What would it mean to lose that? Could he keep it? Why was it granted in the first place? Hux continued to breathe unevenly. He felt ill again, but if it were like the previous episodes, he knew it would pass. Poe asked, "Can I kiss you anywhere else? If I'm not lewd about it?"

Hux wet his lips. For all his ability to think under stress, he was finding his thoughts to be an incoherent mess at the moment. This was too different. He couldn't even make sense of the question – the words were meaningless. He finally tore his eyes away and stared at the far wall, trying to get a grip on himself.

He didn't think it should be this difficult. It probably wouldn't be if he fabricated a reason to storm out, or to shoved Poe away and threatened him to get some emotional distance. But that was cowardly. And probably ungrateful. And … he didn't want things to go that way, not if he were still the one centered in himself, choosing his future. But he still couldn't process this. His eyes glazed over.

"Okay," Poe said when Hux looked away and went into shutdown mode on him, "you think on that." He straightened so he wasn't crouched over Hux's hand and let go of him. For a very long time, they simply sat there together in the warm water – Hux staring away and breathing slowly, Poe watching. Finally, Poe said quietly, "Armitage? Are you with me?"

Hux looked at him with another pained smile. He knew Poe was being patient with him. "I am." He stubbornly refused to apologize for not being what he imagined someone should want in a partner. If Poe didn't like it, then he could shove off and save them both a lot of trouble. He simply didn't know how to cope at the moment. He suspected Poe knew that. He hoped he did. He supposed Poe had to, or else he would have cleared out already or be more demanding.

"Can I ask a different question?" Poe asked.

"Yes." He tried to recall what the previous one had been. Something about kissing?

"What can I call you?"

"Armitage Hux? Why is that a question?" He was confused. It was still difficult to focus.

"No, I meant a nickname. Sorry, I wasn't clear."

Hux swallowed and said nothing. He had no nicknames he would want to be called. All the ones he knew about were insulting. Why did Poe want to know this? Why did Poe think he'd tell him anything like that?

"An endearment?" Poe asked. "Terms of affection?"

Hux continued to give him a blank look. Those didn't apply to him. Why did Poe think anyone, ever, had called him something nice? Had his mother called him anything, back on Arkanis? Those memories were lost, though. Not even Snoke's relentless probing had brought out much.

"Sweetheart?" Poe finally said.

Hux's brows came up in the middle in expressive disbelief as he finally realized Poe wasn't asking for things other people had called him, but rather things he might call him. And 'sweetheart'? The thought of someone, anyone, even Poe, calling him that was hilarious, because as far as Hux was concerned, he didn't have a drop of sweetness in him. He began to chuckle, then laugh. There was relief in it, but fortunately no hysteria.

"Yeah?" Poe asked, chuckling along with him. "Sweetheart? Sweetie?"

Hux shook his head ruefully, cheeks tight in a grin. "No." That Poe imagined such a word might be applied to him in seriousness was cute, but sadly wrong.

"Baby!" Poe said.

Hux's brows went up higher. His laughter went to chuckles and it was a measure of the trust he had for Poe that he didn't explode just at the suggestion that Poe might call him infantile and expect him to be okay with that. He was chuckling because it was so ridiculous and because Poe clearly had no idea how demeaning Hux would find that term. If he said anything, it might come out too harsh, so he only shook his head.

"Aw, those are my favorites," Poe said. "I might as well call you Hugs." Hux's tight smile dropped and the chuckling stopped. Hux looked at him intently. Immediately, Poe began damage control. "I am sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No." Hux held up his hand. "That one I don't mind."

Poe blinked. "What?"

"I don't relish being called the same things you've used for anyone else you've been with. Also, that was my father's name." A vicious little smile played over his lips, because this was something that made sense. "I don't mind if you … bastardize it. Especially you, a member of the Resistance who has shot down so many of the Order. You're the perfect person to disrespect his name, with my full permission, as often as you wish to." He liked the idea.

"Oh!" Poe's eyes widened. "Oh … yeah. Okay. Really?" Hux tilted his head slightly in assent. "Hugs it is, then."

"In private," Hux clarified, "or in very informal settings in the Order. In formal settings, always use my proper name and title." Poe nodded. "Among your Resistance fellows or the Republic, call me whatever you wish, so long as you don't mislead them to my actual name. I'd hate to meet them later and have them mis-address me to my face."

"Oh, no problem. I can do that. I will do  _exactly_  what you tell me to do … Hugs." Poe finished with a grin.

Hux's smile at him was more genuine and less pained. "I appreciate the offer of control."

"Is that's what's messing you up? Feel like you're losing control here?"

"I am in complete control of myself." Hux barely avoided snapping, but the desire to do so was too clear.

Poe nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know," he said softly. "And you have control of me, too, to an extent, you know? You get to say what I call you. What we do together. Everything."

Hux sighed and thought about trying to tell Poe once more that he didn't deserve this, hadn't earned it (though how by the stars did anyone earn affection?), and might not live up to it. But, again, Hux stubbornly didn't want to. He didn't want to reveal his deficiencies and in any case, none of this had been his idea to start with. He reached up and touched Poe's chin, molding his hand around it brushing his thumb under Poe's lip. Poe leaned his head into it, which was lovely. Hux began to think they might actually be able to make this work. Somehow.

"About the … kissing," Hux said, trying to bring himself back around to the subject Poe had asked about earlier. "A kiss on the cheek is an acceptable public display of affection in the First Order. As are bare hands. In private, anything that's acceptable to both parties. I'm not sure the First Order will still exist in a year, but that's how it is now. As long as you aren't … yes, lewd about it … you can put your lips to me anywhere that's not sexual." He added quickly, "Not on the mouth."

"I don't want to get in trouble in the heat of the moment, so tell me what 'lewd' means to you."

Hux let his hand drop back under the water and huffed about having to be explicit. "No sucking. No licking. Nothing … gross. No saliva left on me. Don't drool." Poe smiled and chuckled softly. "Stay away from my genitals and my mouth. And eyes, nose, I suppose should the fancy strike you. Anywhere else I need be detailed about?" He didn't want to be even more graphic.

"Nah. I got it. But in public, you said 'bare hands'. Bare hands what? Married people don't wear the gloves?"

"No, that's not it. We can touch. In public. With bare hands and it's not considered rude." Hux shifted uneasily. The idea of actually doing that, casually and routinely in full view of others, was both titillating and intimidating. It made him feel queasy again to contemplate.

"Oh, like Kylo and Rey were doing on Naboo? When they were holding hands out on the veranda?"

"Yes, exactly. Perfectly standard First Order behavior, that. A clear statement of affection and an advanced relationship."

"Did you know she accepted his proposal?"

"She did? Good. Finally."

"Well, she sort of did. Actually, she proposed back and he accepted. So yeah."

"I'm glad that's settled."

"How's that? How does that impact you?"

"No one's interests are served by having someone of his powers running around satisfying whims or base passions. If he has a partner, then he has someone whose regard matters to him and potentially, a reason to build for the future."

Poe grunted. "Yeah that makes sense. Is that how you see us?"

Hux blinked at him and colored somewhat. "I have no idea how I see us. I have yet to make sense of your motivations. I've hardly been running around satisfying whims. Do you really think that about me?"

Poe laughed. "No."

"I've been building for the future since I was a small child, as far back as I can remember. It was the charge given to me by my father, by Sloane, by Rax, because of the horror of Emperor Palpatine's final orders and the Contingency Plan. Kylo needed something to give him focus. I've had that all along. You?"

"My motivations?" Poe touched Hux's knee under the water. "My goal, all along, has been to end this war. It took my mother from me. Until recently, I thought I could achieve it by shooting down the bad guys. But it's not about destroying. It's about saving, even the ones no one thought needed it. You. Your people, the First Order. Kylo Ren. The New Republic. All of it. So on Naboo, I told the others I was going to figure this out."

Poe pointed at him with his free hand. "I was going to get one of you guys to trust me so we'd quit trying to destroy each other." Poe shook his head with a sly smile. "And you looked so hot. I knew which one I wanted the moment I saw you."

Hux snorted and then laughed.

"I did!" Poe grinned. "Then, you know, I got to know you a little. You're a nice guy."

"I am not!"

Poe was unaffected. "Well, I think you are. Then I got to know you  _better_. Wow." Poe looked at him like he was the greatest thing he'd ever seen.

Hux blushed thoroughly. "Stop looking at me like that. You make me want to crawl off under a rock and I won't!"

"No, no, you wouldn't." Poe waggled his brows at him, but then he looked away and tried to school his expression to something less intense. The attempt calmed Hux.

He was pleased. Maybe even happy. In a wistful voice, he asked, "What happens when you realize I don't need saving? Or help? I'm useless to you as a political ally. You know that, right? The Order's going to be dismantled if we succeed with all of this."

"Alliances are temporary, remember?" Poe grinned up at him, then leaned back. "That's why I want something more. I know you don't need saving. What'd you say? You're not a child in this? I got it. You can stand up for yourself. I've had the privilege to meet some really brave people and you're one of them."

"Stop it."

"You are!" Poe sprawled a little. He adjusted his arms to swing one behind Hux's narrow shoulders and scooted over next to him. Hux gave him an exasperated look. All that skin contact made it hard for him to breathe and threatened to set him off into shakes again. Poe went on, oblivious, "So those are my motivations. You're hot. I want to be with you. You make me laugh. I love you. It's pretty simple."

"Hm," Hux said, picking up another stone with his toes as he tried to focus on something other than the person pressed against him. "Perhaps I'm looking for complicated where simple will do."

Poe shrugged. "What did you say about Emperor Palpatine's final orders? What's all that about?"

"Complicated," Hux said with a grunt. He scooted sideways, unable to take the contact. He hated having to retreat, but sometimes it was a necessary tactic.

Poe didn't follow. He pulled back the arm that had been behind Hux's shoulders, letting Hux get away completely. "How so?"

Hux regarded him out of the corner of his eye. "Now I know how Ren felt on Naboo, with Rey asking him to explain himself to her and him being unable to deny her."

Poe's face warmed suddenly. "You feel that way about me? The way he feels about her?" His smile widened. "Wow, Hugs."

"I didn't say that!" Hux felt a flash of being scandalized at the depth of emotion he had inadvertently implied.

"Oh, okay." Poe nodded, tried to wipe the smile from his face, and utterly failed at it. He looked so pleased. "I notice you're not saying it's wrong."

"It would be foolish of me to do so! Believe what you want. It's to my benefit if you think I'm absolutely besotten with you." He had no idea how much he did or didn't like Poe. How did anyone measure such a thing?

"Is that even a word? 'Besotten'?"

"Yes, it is," Hux said primly. Poe just kept grinning at him like he was the most entertaining and lovely creature in existence. Hux blushed all over again. "I asked you to stop looking at me like that!"

Poe straightened his face as well as he could. "Okay, we need to change the subject then, because we're getting to the point where I can't keep from it. What were you saying about the horror of Palpatine or something?"

"I thought we were changing the subject?"

Poe shrugged. "Anything. Yeah, he'd be a good one."

"Fine. Palpatine." Hux rolled his eyes and considered what he could say that didn't give away secrets he'd been promised to keep. "I don't know what you get for history in the New Republic (or vocabulary, apparently), but in the Order, it's well-known Emperor Palpatine meant for his death to be the end of everything. Does that help focus your attention elsewhere?"

"Definitely." Poe was still smiling.

Hux went on. "The emperor's final, posthumous orders were for all those loyal to him to destroy … all they could reach. That's why there was such chaos after the Battle of Endor. Some followed their orders explicitly. Others were more strategic about it. Others refused entirely or defected. All the while, the chain of command was attempting to right itself, burdened by many who had been mind-controlled or corrupted to the point of no return."

Poe nodded, obviously listening. This much was easy to tell – public knowledge as it were – the next was less so and Hux was purposefully vague on it.

"At the end of it was the Battle of Jakku. I might have only been a boy, but I was a leader even then and directly charged with this trust, as were some few others. Our goal was to undo the emperor's work in full. To do that would require identifying and rooting out all who were loyal to Palpatine. With the destruction of the Hosnian system, the Senate of the New Republic, the complete dismantling of that government, and the pending reformation of the new, the goal will be accomplished. You should know, it wasn't my idea to take out the entire Hosnian system. I argued against it. We only needed Hosnian Prime gone, but Snoke's orders were otherwise."

Poe nodded slowly. "That … that does make a difference. At least to me." He added softer, "I'm glad to hear that."

Hux pursed his lips for a moment. "Speaking of Snoke, him getting rid of the Jedi was an unexpected side benefit to the First Order's mission, a way of ensuring no emperor would rise again."

"What about Rey and Kylo? You don't seem to be after them."

"No, I'm not. No one is. They're not involved in the government anymore. My mission was not to eliminate all Force users. That's impossible anyway. Having Snoke in our leadership was a serious setback in most ways. Kylo was more of a conundrum as he turned out not to be depraved, but he had to go anyway."

"You tried to keep him there, though. You supported him as supreme leader."

"He was becoming very useful! It was terribly tempting, especially at the end. If the High Command hadn't forced my hand to get rid of him, I don't know what I would have done. They were wiser than I in the end."

Poe chuckled. "Oh, I know what you mean. That first day or two with him on the  _Restitution_  and I was realizing just what he could do?" Poe shook his head. "He's not as easily led anymore, by the way. But there at first he was."

"As far as a marriage," Hux said, "I'm not even certain the new government will let me keep a position at all, given the Hosnian Cataclysm and my high profile role under Snoke. Amnesty does not equal job security, even assuming the amnesty sticks. Would that lead you to reconsider your proposal?"

"What?" Poe asked. "The prospect of you getting an early retirement so the two of us can kick back and do whatever it is we want to do? If everything works out, then I'll be out of a job, too, Hugs. I worked hard to get to this point with you. I'm not letting you off the hook that easy."

* * *

 

Poe tied off the towel around his waist and flopped the hand towel over his shoulder. He went to where Hux was finishing drying and reached for his arm. "Can I see this?"

"The knife? Yes." Hux draped his towel over his shoulders, leaving the rest of him bare. He offered his arm for inspection. "You seem to think on it a lot."

"Yeah, I do." What he thought on was the deep-seated fear that led to Hux being obsessive about defending himself. He'd known people who carried blasters all the time and while that made sense in war, it was a siege mentality that led to hypervigilance and other problems. (Not least of which was the wrong person getting shot or stabbed on occasion.) He started to undo the straps.

"No!" Hux jerked his arm away.

Poe waited a long beat before saying, "Easy, Hugs. I was just going to take it off and dry under it. I'm not taking it away from you." Poe was going to do this in tiny steps just like everything else. The skin under it was discolored – he'd seen that much. "How long has it been since you've taken that off?"

Hux didn't answer, but he put his arm out between them and looked at it.

"That long, huh?" Poe said, "Draw the knife and hold it."

"Why?"

"So you'll be safe while I take the scabbard off and we let it dry."

Hux drew it with less hesitation than Poe had expected, folding it back against his other forearm as Poe finished undoing the straps.

"You ever killed anyone with it?" Poe handed the scabbard to Hux, so he had both pieces – knife in one hand, scabbard in the other. He pulled down the hand towel and scrubbed at the grey, black, and yellowish patches that were deeply stained into Hux's skin.

"Yes. It was years ago, when I was lower ranked and saw field action. Before my father's death and my re-assignment to the Downs."

Poe had seen Hux's file. His father had died around the time Hux became an adult. Armitage had seen more military action than most did in a lifetime and all  _before_  he was even the usual age of enlistment. He was a child soldier, all grown up. "When was the last time you really needed it?"

"On the bridge, about a month ago. The late Admiral Nayta tried to instigate a mutiny against me. It didn't happen, though. But I thought for a moment I was going to need it. Before that, on Naboo, when the tr- Finn charged Ren."

Poe nodded, "You do use it. Yeah, I can understand why you carry it. Let's hope we can change things in the galaxy so someday, you don't need to wear this thing." He frowned at the marks. They'd faded only slightly, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Contingency Plan was canon, but as it is related here by Hux, it is suffering from the Telephone Game.  
> Palpatine related it to Rax, who deliberately reinterpreted it to his benefit after the emperor was dead. Rax related it to Sloane, Armitage, Brendol, and others, each getting a slightly different version as far as I can tell without reading the source material. And very vague in any case, with Rax dying without giving much in the way of details. Then in my fanon, the group convened with Thrawn to work out how to actually accomplish this, which involved more reinterpretation of Palpatine's wishes (instead of the idiotic 'kill everyone in the Empire' it became 'kill everyone loyal to the Emperor'). Once Thrawn, Brendol, and Sloane were gone, Armitage was left alone to manage implementation while juggling Snoke's priorities. By the end of it, Palpatine probably wouldn't recognize his own orders, but that's what you get for relying on mainly verbal transmission of vague, unrealistic commands that won't see completion for more than a quarter century after issuing them.
> 
> This is largely what Armitage meant back in chapter 1 of Grey and Complicated when he thought the other members of the High Command didn't share his "ideals" or goals for the First Order. They weren't part of the Contingency Plan and didn't have the same ultimate mission. Once the new government is set up, Armitage's ruthless thirst for power is largely gone. Assuming he escapes prison and various other complications, he can retire to a happily ever after and hopefully everyone will think galactic peace and prosperity is the result of the mighty Skywalker blood, the Force, and all that drama. People love to believe stuff like that. :)


End file.
